earthquake in the uk.

[Frankie Price]

Originally Posted by Woz

Pardon me. Must have been the lentil and cauliflower curry I had last night.

Or maybe the Dud dropping his wallet.

And there was me thinking you'd been on the prunes again..

[divingdancer]

slept right through it (I did take a sleeping tablet though) and was woken up by rustferret waffling on "did you feel that" " did you hear that roar" and so on......no I didn't I was asleep catching up on my zedzzzzzzzzz.

made him get me a drinking choc before I could go back to sleep. Our girls heard it but son slept through it too.

there were car alarms going off but not that many lights went on in neighbour's houses.

[copperband]

[teddybeardiver]

Originally Posted by ratcliffe

So what actually happens, apart from magnetic north becoming magnetic south ?

Property in old north UK will become more expensive because it is now in the south??????


And folks in Orkney can no longer call me a Southerner!!

[Early Rub-up]

Originally Posted by teddybeardiver

Property in old north UK will become more expensive because it is now in the south??????


And folks in Orkney can no longer call me a Southerner!!

and us lot in the midlands will stay the same how convenient

[CatB]

I have to admit I haven't read this whole thread but just in case it hasn't already been posted, whether or not you felt the earthquake you can go to this website and help the BGS with their earthquake research - it only takes a couple of minutes.

BGS Earthquake Questionnaire

[G man]

Still no sign of Pakistan setting up an earthquake fund for us yet!!

I say the next time they have one F**k em.

G.

[MuckMuppet]

Originally Posted by G man

Still no sign of Pakistan setting up an earthquake fund for us yet!!

I say the next time they have one F**k em.

G.

Apparently I must spread it around before I green you again...

[Sean]

An Appeal for Your Help

A major earthquake measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early
hours of Tuesday morning. Epicentre : Barnsley , England .

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000
racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly
muttering "fookinhell" and "choffin-norah".

The earthquake decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several
priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the
Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical
burnt out cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken up well before their Giro arrived. Radio Barnsley
reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still
trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had
happened in Barnsley .

One resident, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon Braithwaite said :
"It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my
bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it
all. I was still shaking when I was watching the Jeremy Kyle show the next morning".

Locals were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car
crime carried on as normal.

So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals,
rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities
of persona l belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from
Elizabeth Duke at Argos, and bone china from Pound-stretcher.

Can You Help....?

Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing
for the victims of this disaster.

Clothing is needed most of all, especially :

* Fila or Burberry baseball caps
* Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)
* Shell suits (female)
* White sports socks
* Rock-Fort boots or any other product sold in Primark

Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your
efforts will make a difference.
Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or
Special Brew are ideal.

Please do not give anything that requires peeling.

Remember :

* 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims
* £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9
* £5 will pay for a pa cket of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's
nerves

Urgently required : Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells

Please do not send tents for shelter.

The sight of such posh housing will cause discontent in the surrounding
South Yorkshire communities.

[Alex85]

^
l
l
l
Absolutely brilliant, really made me laugh!!!