In a bit of a dilemma.

[madderthanafish]

Howdo all.

I don't know if anyone has any thoughts or advice about this one but I would think there will be one or two on here who've been through this.

The wife has recently decided that she is leaving me after almost 16 years. She hasn't given me what I can see as a sensible reason for her decision and she refuses to try and work it out. I've come to terms with it all but I have a bigger problem. As she took care of all the finances, (and I was quite happy to let her), I had very little idea what was happening other than whenever I asked how the credit card bills were doing, she would say: "they're coming down". When it all comes out in the wash, we are seriously in debt. By serious, I mean at least 4 rebreathers worth!!! The debt is, to be honest, not all her fault. I used the cards as much as she did, I just didn't know how bad it had got. I know that sounds mighty naieve but it's sadly true. If I had known, I'd have cut the b*****d things up a long time ago!

As she's moving out, it means I'm homeless as well as we live in tied accomodation that goes with our job. Fortunately, the people I work for are keeping me on and I can live in my campervan. The problems are 1. a lack of space and 2. a f*****g great debt to pay off! Some folk have advised me to sell as much as I can and pay the debts as quick as poss, others have said keep some stuff so that at least I get out ocassionally. I've got all my own dive kit, a small-ish dive boat, loads of related "toys"and it's all in superb condition having been extremely well looked after. I'm sure it would knock a couple of months off my bills if I sold it all.

I'm not after sympathy, by the way. I'm all done with emotion at the moment and just focusing on practicalities. If anyone who's been through this has any thoughts, I'd much appreciate hearing them.

Thanks in advance.

[lifeleader]

sorry to hear about how your life at the moment.

first thing you need to do is take to you card people. they all have people trained up in how to deal with these situations. don't wait do it now.

as you don't have much room, then i would sell some of the unused stuff as pay some of the money off. less to pay now means less to find.

hope things get better.

[Finless]

Call me stupid but doesn't the divorce thing work both ways? If you are in debt then your ex is in for half of it?

[edit]Apologies - I misread part of your opening post about the house.

I'd contact Citizens Advice, there are many issues you need to get resolved. If they don't give direct advice I'm sure they will tell you who to see.

Also, as seen on TV, it would appear getting the credit card balances all moved into one loan account is the way forward as you should be paying far less interest.

[Juz]

If it were me, the boat would definitely go, as would any shiny toys that were not necessary and I'd then look at what the card people are saying before I made any further decision.

Juz

[ShinyD]

Sorry to hear of the situation - not pleasant for anyone involved.

Finless has it spot on. Speak to Citizens Advice before you do anyting (if you can afford to wait). They have trained advisors that deal with this kind of thing every day and can give good, solid and most importantly, impartial advice and help. The biggest issue is swallowing your pride to speak to someone face-to-face, but it would be worth it.

[Gram43]

Wow, that's quite a crappy situation to be in and I pass you my sincerest best wishes.
As above, speak to the credit card companies, or look at getting (if remotely possible) another card that has 0% interest on balance transfers etc., you know the type. Alternatively, speak to the card company and see if they can offer you a smaller inetrest rate on the remaining balance for the life of it.
There's always good and bad stories to be heard about these companies who take on your debt etc., for one small monthly payment, but it seems you have very little collateral, so you may not get anything.

Talk to them is all you can do and see what the best outcome is.

All the best..........Graham

[madderthanafish]

Thanks to all concerned for the replies so far.

Just to clarify: the wife is paying half of the total debt and the credit cards are on the way to being sorted. I've transferred most of the balance onto a card that's got a 0% deal on it for 6 months so that's a relief. After 6 months is up, I'll be doing the same again onto another 0% card for 9 months so in 15 months, most of the debt will be gone. I'd rather do it this way and pay about £1K in interest than get a loan for 4 years and pay £5K in interest!! Incidentally, if anyone out there is in trouble with their finances, have a look at the "MSE" website. Radio 2 listeners will know it from hearing Martin Lewis, the "Money Saving Expert" who also has a programme on channel 5 on Wednesdays. There's loads of good stuff on there and it makes you realise that there's a lot of folk out there in the same boat.

I've now got my finances under control for the first time in 16 years. I really wanted to know if anyone had been through anything like this and had thought about selling their gear. By coincidence, I've ben offered my old job back up in Oban and I'm giving it serious thought seeing as there's just me and my two dogs to think about. . The biggest regret I have is moving to Dorset in the first place! If I'd known then what I know now......