Is she really mine?

[wacky28]

I am beginning to doubt whether my daughter is actually mine or not?

She rang me today to tell me the brakes on her car were " grinding ", I knew the pads needed changing a few weeks ago. So I told her when she finished school to pop to the nearby Motor factors, who I know, & pick up a set of pads. I would fit them when I got home from work.

Get home from work, to find she went to said Motor Factors & the guy said " Tell you Dad to bring the pads up as there are 4 variations"

No problem, jack up car, whip off wheel, drop caliper off & drive up to Motor factors to pick up new pads. I left the car on the jack with the wheel under the D/s sill, just in case. The car is outside of the front door with the d/s facing the house.

While buying pads, daughter rings, " Is it ok to drive over mates house while you are in the car shop?"
I reply " where are you? "
She replies "next to the car"
Back to me " Do me a favour, count how many wheels are on the car"
to which the reply came " oh yeah, probably shouldn't drive it with just 3 wheels on then huh huh!"

Should I demand a DNA test?

I'm sure she is my wifes daughter, and wasn't swapped at birth 'cos before Xmas, we discovered a 2" hole in our lawn. I peered down it & called my wife over to show her. Wife takes one look at & says " Oh great, thats all we need a badger or Fox living in the bloody lawn" I just looked in astonishment at her.

I then called out afore mentioned daughter, showed her the hole & told her what her Mum had said, to which daughter bursts out laughing & says " What an idiot, I expect it is from a frog " I walked off shaking my head.

Expect to see me on Jeremy Kyle next week!

[Reikimaster]

Originally Posted by wacky28

to which the reply came " oh yeah, probably shouldn't drive it with just 3 wheels on then huh huh!"

Should I demand a DNA test?

the only DNA test you need is to count the number of X chromosomes

(i'm already running )

[Letz]

LOL

Maybe it's you that's wrong

[Simon Lamb]

I once told an ex g/f of mine (same one as drove through the petrol pumps) that red traffic lights were purely advisory after 9pm. There's alot of context here, but I havent got all day to tell the story.

I dont know who was more amazed 2 months later, me or the policeman who gave her a ticket for running all 4 red lights at hanger lane gyratory.

[Letz]

Originally Posted by Simon Lamb

I once told an ex g/f of mine (same one as drove through the petrol pumps) that red traffic lights were purely advisory after 9pm. There's alot of context here, but I havent got all day to tell the story.

I dont know who was more amazed 2 months later, me or the policeman who gave her a ticket for running all 4 red lights at hanger lane gyratory.

Well, it's a roundabout

[Simon Lamb]

I had another g/f (i seemed to pick them on automotive skills alone for a while there) who thought it perfectly reasonable for the discs to be glowing red after a short jaunt to the local shop.

Never occured to her that riding the brake pedal was less than ideal.


.

[Noel Johnson]

Originally Posted by wacky28

Il then called out afore mentioned daughter, showed her the hole & told her what her Mum had said, to which daughter bursts out laughing & says " What an idiot, I expect it is from a frog " I walked off shaking my head.

Expect to see me on Jeremy Kyle next week!

Frogs have been known to burrow for hibernation purposes...

[John_C]

LOL glad its not just my kids that do this sort of thing...

[Hickdive]

Once, whilst driving through the vast Norwegian forests, we would glimpse wooden houses built in clearings. My wife turned to me and asked "Why are all the houses built of wood and not bricks?"

I worry for the children

[weazelz]

Originally Posted by Simon Lamb

I once told an ex g/f of mine (same one as drove through the petrol pumps) that red traffic lights were purely advisory after 9pm. There's alot of context here, but I havent got all day to tell the story.

I dont know who was more amazed 2 months later, me or the policeman who gave her a ticket for running all 4 red lights at hanger lane gyratory.

well, I'm glad she only had to explain it to the police & not to a paramedic