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Non Diving Posts: Discuss 'Birds' & Cars.... in the Non-Diving Related Forums forums: OK so we have a blonde in Canada listening to the radio with her husband, the anouncer says "We expect ...

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  #11 (permalink)  
Old 09-10-03, 11:20 PM
Paul Oliver's Avatar
Dodgy solo deep air diver and pony cylinder user.
 

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OK so we have a blonde in Canada listening to the radio with her husband, the anouncer says "We expect heavy snow tonight so please all park your cars on the left of the road so the snow plough can get through".

So she goes out and parks the car on the left.

The next night the anouncer says "Heavy snow tonight, please all park on the right so the snow plough can get through".

So out she goes and parks the car on the right side of the road.

Next night "Heavy snow due tonight please all park on the 'mush/static/mush' side of the road" So she says to her husband.

The news broke up and i don't know which side of the road to park the car so the snow plough can get through tonight?

OK he says,

(wait for it)

(you will enjoy)


Why not leave it in the garage then, instead of taking it out to park    

I'll get my coat then,

Paul
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  #12 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-03, 09:11 PM
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susan saw the sea in a book once
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lol, I love the jokes, but just to even it up a bit I've included a few male ones;

Whats the difference between a porcupine and a corvette?
The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Only a man would buy a £500 car and put a £4000 stereo in it.


Car stickers;

All men are idiots and I married their King.:O

Few women admit their age, fewer men act it.
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  #13 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-03, 09:20 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (susan @ Oct. 10 2003,21:11)]
All men are idiots and I married their King.
 I've never met you, let alone married you.
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  #14 (permalink)  
Old 10-10-03, 09:38 PM
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Imported post

A blonde goes to the hairdressers and has her hair dyed Brown
Afterwards she gets into her convertable and goes for a drive in the country with the intention of dispelling the blonde sterotyping
after a few miles, the road is blocked by a herd of sheep ... she see's the farmer and thinks this is my chance
She says to the farmer if i can guess the number of sheep in your flock then may i keep one.
the farmer agrees thinking the probability was slim
the blonde immeadiatly says 234
the farmer is amazed and tells her to take her pick of the flock
she looks at the sheep and selects one, and manhandles it into the car

(wait for it!!!)



The farmer then retorts if i can gues your natural hair colour can i have my sheepdog back
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  #15 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-03, 10:39 AM
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susan saw the sea in a book once
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (DougParker @ Oct. 10 2003,21:20)]
Quote:
Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (susan @ Oct. 10 2003,21:11)]
All men are idiots and I married their King.
 I've never met you, let alone married you.
Oh yes you did (panto style) Dont you remember I got the house, kids and bank account and you got the car and the bills
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  #16 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-03, 10:41 AM
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susan saw the sea in a book once
Imported post

Quote:
Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (bouncer @ Oct. 10 2003,21:38)]A blonde goes to the hairdressers and has her hair dyed Brown
Afterwards she gets into her convertable and goes for a drive in the country with the intention of dispelling the blonde sterotyping
after a few miles, the road is blocked by a herd of sheep ... she see's the farmer and thinks this is my chance
She says to the farmer if i can guess the number of sheep in your flock then may i keep one.
the farmer agrees thinking the probability was slim
the blonde immeadiatly says 234
the farmer is amazed and tells her to take her pick of the flock
she looks at the sheep and selects one, and manhandles it into the car

(wait for it!!!)



The farmer then retorts if i can gues your natural hair colour can i have my sheepdog back
LOL,

Why do men prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.


Why are blonde jokes so short?
So men can remember them.

     
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  #17 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-03, 11:46 AM
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Imported post

Quote:
Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (susan @ Oct. 11 2003,10:39)]I got the house, kids and bank account and you got the car and the bills
Seems to me that the guy got the best deal.

When me an da bitch argue about splitting up she and l both say we don't want the brats.
Theres only one out of three, at home now, much more peacefull now that my sons gone to uni.  
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  #18 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-03, 01:24 PM
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Imported post

Quote:
Originally Posted by [b
Quote[/b] (susan @ Oct. 11 2003,10:41)]
Why do men prefer blondes?
 They get dirty quicker.
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