Quotations

[CotoChris]

<font color='#0000FF'>My sister just text message this quote:

May the fleas fo 1,000 Afghan camels fester the bottom of the one that is making your day crap and let his/her arm be too short to scratch!

I just had to let you all know

[andy2tanx]

got this one off a mechanic at work.

'If they pretend to pay me, I'll pretend to work.'

[Jay]

&quot;May you live in interesting times&quot; - ancient Chinese curse and much worse than it sounds if you think about it

[Jay]

As told by a Dublin bus-conductor on local landmarks:

&quot;The quare in the square&quot; (statue of Oscar Wilde)

&quot;The tart with the cart&quot; (statue of Molly Malone)

&quot;The floozy in the jacuzzi&quot; (statue of Godess Of The Liffey)

[Mr T.]

&quot;And you pair of w*ankers, you're gonna get it good and f*ckin proper: shanked in the showers; teased in the toilets; bedevilled in the barfroom - so much so that no amount gash like 'We love our old mum, we do' and 'yeah, but we only done it to our own..' ec-bleedin-cetera is gonna wash. You're a right pair of nonces - take 'em down..&quot;


The Rt Hon Judge Sir Norman Blaster-Floggam's summing up at the trial in 1969 of the Kray Twins.....allegedly.

[susan]

I wanna live til I die, no more no less (Eddie Izzard)


Money is better than poverty. If only for financial reasons.

There are worse things than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

(Woody Allen)


A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
(Spike Milligan)


&nbsp; &nbsp;

[Dominic]

&quot;Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time, we need wages.&quot;

[tom]

&quot;A man cannot &nbsp;build a reputation on things he is going to do&quot; &nbsp;- chinese fortune cookie
&quot;Don't talk bullshit and have a million meetings - do something&quot; - Niki Lauda

Words to live by

Tom

[susan]

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up, then finally you forget to pull it down.
(George Burns)



Work is the curse of the drinking classes.


Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes
(Osacr Wilde)



Don't knock it, masterbation is sex with someone I love. (woody Allen)

[Bob Cooper]

&quot;The one inch strap fits between my balls. The 2 inch mashes one or the other. I was thinking of having them cut off, but JJ talked me out of it.&quot;
(George Irvine)