hmm how to get cash off a friend

[applepie]

i think i may have asked this before..

any new suggestions?

friend has owed me money for quite a while. I have let it slide for a few months since there wasnt a pressing need for it and she said she hadnt been paid for a while.

each time it comes round to the time for payment, theres a new excuse.

now, I'm feeling akward myself about pestering her for the money back, roughly once a month (to conincide with payday). shes a nice person and a bit err blonde for lack of better word so dont want to be harsh and have given her a hand with getting a better job.

I would quite the money back so i can pay deposits for diving!

I have never understood how people can do that for so long, fob off paying your mate. low cash? spend less unless your seriously hardup and in some deep trouble (which she isnt)

if it was a bloke its alot easier but she being sensitive and all those weird emotion things.

[drunkdiver]

when you find out let me know. Im in the same boat !

[DIVE BUDDHA]

sounds like a good mate ? erm not !

and dependant on how much your need is, will govern how hard you push for repayment !

as you have asked for peoples opinion !

as for the money back strate and simple!

[Sixsquid]

If it's difficult for her to pay then maybe find some kind of trade. And no, I don't mean anything like that! A piece of dive kit she's not using, doesn't want.

However, I was told some years ago that if you're going to lend a friend money you should be willing to give it to them.
If you hold that view on lending then it ain't so bad when you can't get it back. Along with, if you think of it that way and wouldn't give the money, then don't lend it.

Sound advice I thought, particularly as I was always being stung like that with people who said they were "friends"

[neilh]

How about asking for it back in instalments? If she can't afford to pay it all each month, get it back a bit at a time.

[hogen-deifar]

Perhaps you could ask her to pay in instalments? Depends on the amount and what she earns.

Sometimes a "large" sum to someone who doesn't earn a lot of money can seem quite daunting, but so you at least get the money back (at the moment anything is better than nothing) ask her to clear it over say 3, 4 or 6 months?

If you do go down this route, put it in writing, and get her to sign it. Sounds formal, BUT if you have to take it further it'll help your case, ie that you've tried everything to help her pay it back.

Got some letters at work for similar stuff (I'm a credit controller/litigation) so can send you some stuff if you like?

See, Neil says the same thing!!

[stevechesh]

Some sound advice already, but i remember my Nan telling me something years ago

" if you lend someone £50 and never hear from that friend again, it was probably money well spent"

Steve

[XeN]

I have tended to find people like that are self-centered and selfish even though they may be friends.

Personally in this situation I have had to play "hardball" and either demand the money back or make a visit each payday until it is paid back.

DO NOT GIVE IN!

Unfortunate I know, but it is not you who has caused the situation, it's her.

You have every right to your money back and you should not have to be put in this situation.

[Colin Marriott]

Can't she pay you back in kind . . . if you know what I mean


ColinM

[Simon Lamb]

Its a tricky one.

My advice from past experience is to treat the money issue very professionaly and completely separately from personal issues.

By this I mean that you should not mix the conversation about the money with your 'social' life. Until resolved, make special visits to ask if your freind could repay all or part of the monies owed. And then importantly leave once you have completed the discussion (whatever the outcome). If you stay and discuss more social and 'friend' things, the importance of the money issue becomes hazy and unclear, almost secondary to the meeting, and therefore your feelings and insistence on the matter will do also.

It will almost certainly also serve to highlight to the other party that this is a serious issue that is starting to come between you.

Hope that helps a little
Si