That's not my cat!

[Tankbanger]

Originally Posted by Mick F

So while all this is happening, where is your cat?

Drinking crusha or making silly ads. Fecking 's are devils

[Scu-bamboo]

Not my cat has left the building!

WOOHOO!!

As always, thanks for all the support YD.

[Fiji Dave]

Originally Posted by Scu-bamboo

Not my cat has left the building!

WOOHOO!!

As always, thanks for all the support YD.

"Not my cat" has probably just gone round to get "not his mates" to tell them about the fantastic "not his house" where he can get fed loads of "not his tuna" and play on the rollercaster-broom...


I give it 10 mins till "not my cat" decides he's back and staying...

[Scu-bamboo]

ill look out my window and there will be hundreds of not my cats!
ARGHHHHH

[Arfie]

This was actually nearly as funny as when you dyed your hair only early mind

Arfie

[Hickdive]

This is precisely why we need cat licences...

[endoman]

I think it's time for a bit of DIY now, fixing floorboards, hole under oven and working out how the cat got in there in the first place.

You can sing that classic from Friends while beavering away,

[Buoyant Babe]

Originally Posted by Garf

ok, now its trapped you can call the RSPCA and they can come and trap it for you.

The number to call is 0300 1234 999 and tell them to come and get it or you're going to show it "not my shotgun"

Garf, just as a matter of interest, is your cat still under the shed or did it move somewhere else. Like Batley?

[Richard Mason]

Originally Posted by Scu-bamboo

YD - im in a bit of a state!
There is a mad, hissing wild cat in my kitchen!

I went in to get some food, when i say the HUGEMONGOUS gray furry thing on the kitchen table!

First thaught - that's not my cat!
Second thaught - remove 'not my cat' from kitchen and clean the table.

So when i went to pick it up/shoo it away, it leaped at me and chased me round the table! It's a vicious one indeed!
So there i was running like a loon round my table when i spotted the mop! So i grabbed it and tried to 'manouver' 'not my cat' away from me it went even more mental!!! and clung onto the bottom of the mop! so i dragged it round the kitchen a few times shaking the mop until it let go. The cat mas still hissing...
In the end i dropped the mop and ran away, defeated by not my cat.

I shut my kitchen door so its trapped in there now....

im really quite scared and still need some food
but i darnt go back in!!!

Get something long and heavy and bash hard it until it runs out of the door which you have thoughtfully left open. Once it knows you aren't scared, it will soon back down.

I once killed a feral cat in my shed with a garden fork. The four holes in the concrete floor are still there to prove it. He got the message.

[David]

yd is just fantastic sometimes....

its so barmy you could not even make it up...

please tell us how many greens you got for this thread...