FOOTBALL

[kinetic]

As my wife is Danish the forthcoming "friendly" on Sunday is hot topic in our house.

Of course "she" thinks Denmark will win but I disagree and to resolve it I've come to ask my learned friends on YDivers....

I would appreciate whitty responses for my wife to read as she'll be very upset on Sunday..

Thanks all.

Graham

[Mr T.]

How about.....(when Denmark lose)


"Don't be upset, dear. Misunderstandings (like you thinking your side would win) have happened before where England and Denmark are concerned. For example, when we, the Allies, sent over our plans to you for the airborne drop and assault on Arnhem, and called it Operation 'Market Garden', your chaps sent a bunch of Danish Paras to lay seige to the Tivoli Gardens....with disasterous - to say nothing of disappointing - results.....three prams, eight balloons and a park bench blown to smithereens, and a half-squadron of nuns and a rag-doll slaughtered in error...."



OK, let me see if we can't come up with something with more brevity and with a pithy edge?

[kinetic]

Bren,

I'm really doubtful about bringing that up...I don't know if I'd actually make it to the kick-off.

She's lovely but has a Viking temprement...thanks for the effort though..lol.

Cheers for now.

G

[Paul Oliver]

Graham

I'm thinking, but my brain is struggling 'cos as one of svens friendlies there will be at least 2 England teams playing with at least 22 players.

There is however a far more important battering of the French going on.

I will however put some thought into this and sink a few more beers in contemplation.

Dive Safe

paul

[Diving Dude]

Tell her its no disgrace to be battered by the future 2004 Euro and 2006 World cup holders

[Gavin Yates]

<font color='#000F22'>Just turn round to her and &nbsp;say ...

&quot;Listen love how about a nice bacon sandwich, that we we can celebrate all great things Danish and cheer on England.&quot;

Then run to the hills ...

[Mr T.]

Like the bretheren above proffer (from the comfort of their bunkers): simply inform your good lady wife that the game isn't, in the grand scheme of things, massively important and that the Frogs are going to get whooped wrotten on Sunday in any event!

OK, this might not make for marrital bliss in your day-to-day, but it'll get you out of any requirement for a knee-jerk and convoluted obligation to deliver a &quot;it's all to do with the gene-pool...&quot; type convo (which you'll fluff!) with yer Missus!

Then find a quiet bar, buy a beer and hope she doesn't find you. &nbsp; &nbsp;

[kinetic]

I really appreciate all of the above but you don't know my wife.....

...in fact, last time England played Denmark, and the time before, England won I really milked it for years and xears and she got so pissed off that I beginning to hope that it's a draw....

...not really...I'll just have to switch channels and pick up my book and keep quiet (with a smug grin).

The good news is that I can have a few beers on Sunday....what a day lined up...it's almost utopian...

1. Dive in the morning...

2. Home and rinse gear...(not really utopian but at least it's dive related)...

3. Crack open a beer and sit down and watch England stuff Denmark...

4. Hopefully a bit of how's your father if she's not too pissed off..

Cheers for now..

Graham

[Diving Dude]

Both of you wear your footy shirts all day and then later when you have a bit of the other you can say
&quot;Thats the second time today England has sh***ed Denmark&quot;

[kinetic]

I think I might get away with that one...

We're meeting a load the lads down at the &quot;The Brit&quot; pub in Lux tomorrow and Helle is going to wear her Danish flag as a cape. I think any personal violence directed towrds me from her will be avoided in a public place and then I'll buy her dinner and take up where you suggest Dude...except the bit about the footy shirts...

Scotland are doing well...just watched the first half in the Scottish pub...wanted to stay but had the car....buggar.

Cheers all....and good luck ENGLAND for tomorrow...

Graham