Bad Smells....

[Mr T.]

When all you need are the services of a half-decent sniper to do a 'wet-job' on this tw*t.

Is it just me, or is it now mandatory for congenital psycho-dictators to have a filtrum-moustache?? See attached picture and then see Mugabe's similarities to that other uber-nonce from history - Adolph......

[Dinger]

Why couldnt he get a big heart attack or haemorrage or something instead of nice people - piece of shite!

[Diving Dude]

My son in-law is South African, the world turned against South Africa during the apartied years but is strangly quiet about what is happening in Zimbabwe.

[Diving Dude]

Sorry- duplicated post  

[Mr T.]

Gav's favourite journo! And when Mugabe threatens that "We'll pull out [of the Commonwealth]....", you can't help but profer the wish: "As we all wish your father had done, and saved Rhodesia and Zimbabwe untold bloodshed....!"



Abuja is a bunfight for kleptomaniacs
By Kevin Myers
(Filed: 07/12/2003)


It could be worse. I could be in Abuja, solemnly reporting on a meeting of criminals as if it were a consistory of saints, rather than being at home in Kildare in Ireland. My country is not part of the Commonwealth, though it was in a sense the founder member of the British Empire. So in what way is it worse off because it is now outside the Commonwealth?

It is certainly better off for not having to engage in the hypocritical folderol of Abuja, with everyone exchanging bright smiles, while keeping one hand on the fob-watch and the other on their credit cards. Nigeria, after all, is the Vatican of the international church of theft and fraud. And Uganda leads a rival church, one dedicated to robbery with violence, as the prostrate and bleeding body of the Congo can testify.

That is before we even get to the star delinquent of the Commonwealth, Zimbabwe, which triumphantly proves the adage, the gaudier the flag, the bloodier the government. Still, Robert Mugabwe must take some comfort from being the only politician alive who has fully lived up to manifesto promises. Alas, the promises were those made by the UDI regime of Ian Smith, who said that if Rhodesia got majority rule, the certain outcome would poverty and murderous anarchy. Well done, Smithy: top of the class.

Zimbabwe, to be sure, is not actually present at Abuja, having been suspended (though not expelled) - presumably because it has exceeded its quota of government-inspired domestic murders (mass murders abroad, as in the Congo, apparently don't count).

Neighbouring Mozambique's President Chissano is demanding that Zimbabwe be re-admitted to full membership of the Commonwealth. Good on Mozambique, whose historic right to be in the Commonwealth is precisely zero. Unlike Ireland, the US, Burma or Sudan, who aren't present in Abuja, Mozambique was never part of the British Empire. But one of the more absurd fictions of the Commonwealth is its denial of its origins: that it is a club of the former ruled and the former ruler. But in an age of post-imperial egalitarianism, the idea of one country governing another makes everyone uncomfortable: so a cosy fiction has been agreed on that the Commonwealth is simply a free association of countries, with nothing more uniting them than a desire to be nice to one another.

That being the case, anyone theoretically - can join. Which doesn't mean the Commonwealth actually expected just anyone would. After all, you don't really expect the nice couple you met in Skegness to take up your invitation to come and stay whenever they liked: and bring all the kids, we're very free and easy.

Years later, the door-bell sounds, and there on the step is the grinning figure of Mozambique. Its many children scamper into the house, sticking their fingers in electric sockets and monopolising the television. Soon Tony Blair finds himself cornered in the kitchen getting a little finger-wagging lecture on white racism from President Chissano; how long before he succumbs to the temptation to take that Mozambican finger and shoves it where only a body-cavity search would find it?

It is not just a matter of the fine gentlemen from Africa, with their hordes of gleaming Mercedes outside the hotels like seals in a zoo waiting to be fed. Malaysia is in the forefront of the international campaign to arm Muslims against "the Jews". Moreover, Malaysia has led the campaign to ensure that a fellow Commonwealth member, Australia, is only accepted as an Asian country when a majority of its population are racially "Asian". Try using the concept of "Europe" and "European" at a Commonwealth conference and see how far you get.

Of course, the Commonwealth is not bound by common values, but by expediency, bad history and an agreed set of political fictions. Accordingly, the Queen is head of the Commonwealth because, well, she just is: that Britain ran an empire which conquered and governed all those places is - goes the lie - a pure coincidence. In Britain itself, the empire has become a sort of Arthurian myth, something that might or might not have happened, and anyway it was all long ago and is irrelevant today.

So all these jovial kleptomaniacs and chuckling killers jostle at the Commonwealth buffet, one hand slipping the silver fish-knives into their waistcoat pockets. Meanwhile they tut-tut about little Robert's exclusion from the bash - heart-broken, the poor lad - just occasionally popping out to make anxious telephone calls home and see whether or not there has been another coup. After all, that's how they came to power, during the last Commonwealth conference.

Are British-Irish or British-American relations made better or worse by their lacking a Commonwealth dimension? Neither. It makes no difference. The only real function of the Commonwealth is to validate the larcenous habits of a bunch of third world crooks, meanwhile giving them the right to buttonhole the Prime Minister as an equal in a union that is utterly valueless without Britain. Your choice, of course; and frankly, I think you're all mad.

[Mr T.]

And as if by magic........Mugabe/Zimbabwe pulls out of the Commonweatlth!

It's just a pity that no one in the Commonwealth has the balls to turn round and say "So f*cking what!" Mugabe won't live for ever, so we either wait until he snuffs-it (or gets taken out - the preferred option) and then we talk to whomever takes over - who will be begging to return to the fold. Angola and Mozambique (formerly parts of the Portuguese 'empire') were never constituent parts of the former British Empire and they've just finished their stints as 'spectator status' countries and have now been allowed to join the Commonwealth. Zimbabwe will be back....it is to be hoped without Mugabe.


Zimbabwe quits Commonwealth over suspension
By Anton La Guardia, Diplomatic Editor in Abuja
(Filed: 08/12/2003)


Zimbabwe withdrew from the Commonwealth last night after a meeting of the organisation's heads of government extended the nation's suspension from its ranks.

The Zimbabwe government said in a statement that President Robert Mugabe did not accept the situation and was leaving the group.

He made the announcement to the leaders of Jamaica, Nigeria and South Africa when they telephoned him to tell him of his country's continued suspension.

"Accordingly, Zimbabwe has withdrawn its membership from the Commonwealth with immediate effect," the government statement said.

Mr Mugabe was quoted as saying: "This is unacceptable. This is it. It [Zimbabwe] quits and quits it will be."

The three leaders had tried to persuade Mr Mugabe not to quit, according to the government statement. But Mr Mugabe was adamant.

"In response, President Mugabe indicated to each of the three leaders that the decision was unacceptable, as the Republic of Zimbabwe would settle for nothing short of its removal from the Commonwealth suspension and agenda," it said.

Mr Mugabe also indicated that he would not be talking to any leader about the Commonwealth because Zimbabwe was no longer a member of the group.

"On the suggested visit to Zimbabwe by leaders of the CHOGM committee, President Mugabe emphasised that Zimbabwe would receive and welcome them in a brotherly and friendly way but only as leaders of their respective nations, not as representatives of the Commonwealth," it added.

Mr Mugabe's decision came after leaders at the Commonwealth summit in Nigeria agreed to suspend the country indefinitely until it complied with demands to restore democracy and the rule of law.

The decision in Abuja came after three days of racially charged talks and had represented a hard-fought victory for Tony Blair. He resisted an attempt by pro-Zimbabwe partisans, led by South Africa, to rehabilitate Mr Mugabe.

Mr Blair had to postpone his departure from the Nigerian capital for several hours during a tortuous final day of negotiations. Confirmation of the suspension came minutes before he flew home last night.

A Downing Street spokesman said after the decision to suspend: "The Prime Minister said the Commonwealth should send a signal by continuing to suspend Zimbabwe. The Commonwealth has sent that signal."

President Thabo Mbeki of South Africa relented before the pressure of the majority of the 54-nation organisation.

Mr Mbeki has struggled throughout to reinstate Mr Mugabe, arguing that South Africa's brand of quiet diplomacy was more likely to resolve the crisis than international ostracism.

Zimbabwe was suspended in March 2002 in response to the widespread violence and vote-rigging that surrounded Mr Mugabe's re-election. The ban had been extended by several months until the Abuja summit so that leaders could take the decision.

Under a convoluted monitoring mechanism agreed last night, Olusegun Obasanjo, the Nigerian president, and Don McKinnon, the Commonwealth Secretary General, would have reviewed Zimbabwe's compliance with the organisation's demands.

If they thought the situation had changed, they would have reported back to a committee of six nations, which would then have reported back to the wider Commonwealth to take a final decision.

On his way back to Britain before President Mugabe's announcement last night, Mr Blair said the negotiations had been difficult but added: "At the end it was the right outcome and, while it was tough getting there, I think it is important for the Commonwealth to send a strong signal.

"By maintaining the suspension, we have done that and it is now up to Zimbabwe to take the decision to bring themselves back into compliance with the principles set out by the Commonwealth."

[Robert]

Interesting - I wonder if South Africa will be next, with Mbeki being such a fan of Mugabe...

Robert

[Mr T.]

Something about goodbye to bad rubbish??