Housework

[Dominic]

I actually used this very chain of reasoning to convince my girlfriend that I wasn't lazy when I didn't help out with keeping the place clean as much as she thought I should.

There is an attitude amongst women that needs correcting: Men aren't lazy.

They appear to be, but only because you're judging them by female standards. Men's brains do not work the same way as women's. Nor do other body parts. (No, not THOSE parts, pervert )

It all begins with the visual differences. Human eyesight evolved whilst we were living in caves and hunting things called "Ogs". They were called this because the only word we had at the time was, in fact, "og". It was that long ago.

In those days, men went out a-hunting. They chased animals. Their eyesight evolved to lock onto a target, which might be some distance away, and then hold that target even when both man and target were in motion. A man's eyesight is focussed laser-like on a single spot. Everything outside of dead center is peripheral vision, with little fine detail.

Meanwhile, women were back in the caves, looking after the children. This is often thought of as a demeaning role, but it's anything but - women had to be able to keep an eye on a number of small individuals, whilst simultaneously keeping an eye out for predators. What's more, they had to keep an eye on how their young, non-speaking charges were doing, by body language only - children not having even learned to say "og" yet, the only way to monitor their health and emotional state was by body language.

This made women highly sensitive to their environment, and made for a very broad field of vision.

Fast-forward several thousand years through time. We now have a man and woman living in a house together. Social changes have occurred far faster than evolution can keep up with, so whilst our environment is very different, our bodies remain the same.

And so there's this housework thing. Which women complain men don't do.


Now, the first reason for this is listed above - women are highly sensitive to their entire environment. Men aren't. A woman looks at a room, and she sees a messy room. A man looks at a room, he sees a table, then a chair, then another chair, then a rug, etc. Each individual item might be a bit untidy, but because he sees them one at a time, his brain generates a much lower "untidiness score" than the woman's does.

This is, incidentally, why men can never find things. A woman looks in a cupboard and sees the inside of the cupboard. A man looks, and he sees a tin of beans, then the ketchup, then the spaghetti, etc etc - When a man is looking for something, he has to look at every single item in turn. A woman just has to look once.

That's the first problem in doing housework. A man simply doesn't see the mess, because he never looks at the room - he only sees specific items within the room.

The second matter is psychological. This adds to an already biased situation.

To a woman, an offer of assistance is an expression of care: She is saying "I care enough for you that I will do this task even though I don't really want to, because it will help you." A woman will always offer assistance.

To a man, an offer of assistance is, however, insulting. A man offering to help is saying "I don't think you're man enough to perform that task. I shall do it for you, because you're not up to it." A man, no matter how willing to help he may be, will not offer assistance. He will wait to be asked.

This might seem ridiculous. But look at it this way: If you were preparing a meal, and were about to chop something up, and a man walked in, took the knife out of your hands, said "I don't trust you with sharp knives, I'll do it," and then proceeded to cut the food up for you, you'd find that insulting, right?

To a man, that's how all situations appear, at some level of his mind. It's not that he's lazy, or apathetic. It's actually because he cares that he won't offer to help: In his mind, it would be an insult to do it for you.

And this translates directly into housework. Housework tends to be done by the woman. This is not (necessarily) any indication of sexism. It's simply that, as stated above, a woman will consider a room unbearably untidy long before a man will. Therefore, the woman will initiate tidying measures long before a man considers it necessary. This, in the man's mind, makes housework the province of the woman: She has taken responsibility for the housework.

Therefore, even if the man at some point notices that housework needs doing, he will refrain from doing so. Because, at some level in his mind, it would seem demeaning and insulting to the woman for him to do so.

Because humans tend to think that the opposite sex has the same attitudes and capabilities, this makes women think that men are unwilling to "do their share". Nothing could be further from the truth - most men are perfectly happy to help. The only problem is, a woman expects him to do so without prompting, because she judges him by her standards. This approach will never lead to a happy outcome. Men are not the same as women.

A man cannot see the work that needs doing that is so apparent to a woman. And even if he does notice it, he will actively refrain from getting involved until asked. Not out of laziness, but out of courtesy. He is too polite to interfere.

[Adrian Kelland]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Dominic @ Dec. 15 2003,14:19)]I actually used this very chain of reasoning to convince my girlfriend that I wasn't lazy when I didn't help out with keeping the place clean as much as she thought I should.

Did it work?  

[Dominic]

Well, so far.

The downside is, she's decided to get a stock of post-it notes so she can leave them dotted around to ask me to do things so that I won't have to worry about offending her by doing it unasked.

So I guess I'd call it a qualified success

[Moray]

Dear Dominic

Lucky you, that all she got was post-it notes...I would purchase a bear trap for you *grin*

[Dominic]

Fortunately, I'm attracted to the non-homicidal types

[Diving Dude]

Dom.

l've used a similar explaination with wifee when she says that l can only think of one thing at a time whilst she has to think of zillions of things at the same time.

l say that the man being the hunter has to concentrate on the prey whilst the woman has to watch over all the brats etc. and if a man had to think about what vegetables etc to have with the meat the prey would escape.

Also that a man exerts his energy in short massive bursts, necessary to catch prey, then has to rest whist a womans is continual at a lower level.

However non of these arguments work.