I just LOVE this joke

[Rob Evans]

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am" replied the woman "How did you know?"

"Well" answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly you have not been much help at all. If anything you have delayed my trip"

The woman below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well" said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow it's my fault."

[Reeve]

<font color='#000F22'>No you got the joke wrong it was a man on the ground and a man in the balloon. The woman was only employed to make it appear the company are an equal oppurtunities employer.

My personnal favourite:-

A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of the dust cloud towards him.  The driver, a young man in a Broni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the shepherd, &quot;If I tell you exactly how  many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?&quot;

The shepherd looked at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looked at his peacefully-grazing flock and calmly answered, &quot;Sure.&quot;

The yuppie parked his car, whipped out his notebook and connected it to a cell phone, then he surfed to a NASA page on the internet where he called up a GPS satellite navigation system, scanned the area, and then opened up a  database and an Excel spreadsheet with complex formulas. He sent an email on  his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, received a   response.  Finally, he  prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer then turns  to the shepherd and says, &quot;You have exactly 1586 sheep.&quot;

&quot;That is correct; take one of the sheep.&quot; said the shepherd.  He watches  the young man select one of the animals and bundle it into his car.

Then the shepherd says: &quot; If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?&quot;

&quot;OK, why not.&quot; answered the young man.

&quot;Clearly, you are a Six Sigma consultant.&quot; said the shepherd.

&quot;That's correct,&quot; says the yuppie, &quot;but how did you guess that?&quot;

&quot;No guessing required.&quot; answers the shepherd. &quot;You turned up here although nobody called you. You want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked, and you don't know crap about my business.&quot;

&quot;Now give me back my dog.&quot;

[Rob Evans]

Oh go on then, you got me. She couldn't have possibly been an engineer. &nbsp;All the female engineers I know would've got an RPG7 out, blown the bastard into next week and spent a good hour or two dancing gleefully on his entrails. &nbsp;I love 'em at the same time as being terrified of 'em. They don't half bear a grudge &amp; the worst of their venom is save for suit&amp;jacket types, which suits me just fine.

[bang-on]

<font color='#0000FF'>talking about sheep.
what do you call a sheep tied to a pole at the top of your street?
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a leisure centre!
cheers
barrie