For you married men

[Mark C]

This was written by a guy ... it's pretty damn smart.
Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying,'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said,'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financialneeds as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that b1tch knows I'm smarter than her.

[Treerat]

I like it - I've sent it to the wife - may not be on here later!!

Andy

[sean0801]

You're a braver man than i

[Cussy]

pmsl

[Big Kahuna]

saw this last year floating around on facebook and sent to my wife.

I did not get laid for a while.

[RogerViking]

aaaaaa so true.....

[LiamS]

pmsl but why is it just for married men????? my ex had me spend sh*t loads on her ...... but she got fed up with me going diving and said : "its either me or diving"






i said "piss off then im going diving!"




just think off all the shineys i could have bought with that cash .... a cilinder at the very least

[Stevie H]

PMSL - showed it to the wife, she not happy, me still laughing......

and not ......

[Ding Dang Doo]

The other option is buy the stuff....


... she puts out!

Pete

Although it's a bit breezy, I don't think I'll need my coat...