You Know You've Been Travelling Too Much When....

[Mr T.]

You know you have been travelling too much when:


• You wake up at home, in the middle of the night and don’t know where you are.
• Your wife stopped talking to you three months ago and you never noticed.
• Your expense claim looks like the gross national product of a third world country.
• Your briefcase is heavier than your two suiter.
• You know of an unguarded electrical socket in every airport to recharge your laptop.
• You know access codes to voicemail, e-mail, remote computer access, two ATM accounts, mobile telephone codes and frequent flyer PIN numbers but you can’t remember your anniversary.
• The airline check-in desk asks “where to?” and you can’t remember.
• You know the location of the closest petrol station to all major airports to refuel hire cars.
• You realise that quality office time can only be achieved at weekends.
• You have memorised the seating plan for every aircraft without even trying.
• You have been through 12 airports that you can’t find on a map.
• You go to the corner shop for a newspaper and have a strong urge to check your voicemail.
• You are developing a peanut allergy.
• You think all drinks come in mini bottles or small cans.
• You are so used to executive lounges that you order a beer in a normal bar and walk away without paying.
• Most pilots know you by sight and flight attendants know you by name.
• You order your wife’s presents from the in-flight magazine.
• You named your last child after your favourite aircraft.
• You get a perverse pleasure out of being the first one on the plane and then watching everyone else fighting over the overhead luggage space.
• You are so wary of in-flight conversations that you pretend to be asleep as soon as you sit down.
• Your picture is on the refrigerator so the kids won’t forget who you are.
• You have seen most of the latest films but never go to the cinema.
• Your travel budget is twice your annual salary
• You manage to miss every major domestic calamity including flooded kitchens, broken down cars, dead pets, broken limbs, storm damage, etc.
• You know the flight attendants safety demonstration well enough to give it yourself.
• The dog barks more at you than at the postman.
• You want to strangle the next person that suggests business travel is exciting and glamorous.

And finally
• What does “cabin doors to manual and cross check” mean anyway?

[Tim Ingmire]

LOL.  Boy some of those are very close to home.

How about power points on the trains - they don't like you using them but they are there.
As for getting a beer at a bar without paying - how about getting the beer yourself and tutting when you can't find the size of glass you want.
Or, looking forward to the next issue of the in-flight magazine.
You have more loyalty cards from hotels and airlines than can fit into your wallet (or even three wallets).

[Jules]

my ex could answer yes to at least half of those... so dont forget to cherish her in doors!

[lizardfish]

<font color='#810541'>...when you know your passport number by heart, but not your home telephone number

013817098

[Mr T.]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (lizardfish @ April 04 2004,02:50)]...when you know your passport number by heart, but not your home telephone number

013817098

Mate,

If that truly is your passport number, I strongly recommend that you remove it from your post and keep it private!!!

[Helen F H]

<font color='#000080'>I got to go to Amble surgery when i was working at the vets........its about 8 miles from where i normally work. &nbsp;I had to get the bus.

[DanE]

Ooh! The bus. &nbsp;Probably more comfortable than Lufthansa....

Ah, I still remember the day we found out we could upgrade to business for only £5 on London/Madrid flights with BMI. &nbsp;Now that was an offer worth it's weight in beer.

dan.

[Mr T.]

Remember this?

[Noel Johnson]

All true in my experience...

[ahar]

I'm turning in to Lytham's Alan Partridge. All the hotel staff recognise me even in the street.......