Bad Irish Joke

[Helen F H]

<font color='#000080'>Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating Ireland's draw with Germany.
Mick, the bartender says: &quot;You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy&quot;. Paddy replies: &quot;OK Mick, I'll be on my way then.&quot; Paddy spins around &nbsp;on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.
&quot;Shite,&quot; he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up the doorframe. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement. He falls flat on his face.
&quot;I'm fockin' focked,&quot; he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the doorframe, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says: &quot;No fockin' way.&quot; He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says: &quot;I can make it to the bed.&quot; He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.
He says &quot;Fock it&quot; and falls into bed.
The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says: &quot;Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to much to drink last night?&quot;
Paddy says: &quot;I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?&quot;





&quot;Mick called.&quot; He said....&quot;You left your wheelchair at the pub.&quot;

[Dinger]

Ohhh us Irish are terribly hurt!
Dinger

[Conor]

Don't worry Dinger, they are just Jealous &nbsp;

[Driftwood]

<font color='#0000FF'>Yeah, seen the way my wife can pack away alcohol in Portrush..... Scary

[Mr T.]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Driftwood @ April 09 2004,15:17)]Yeah, seen the way my wife can pack away alcohol in Portrush..... Scary

Drifty mate, and she doesn't have be in or near Portrush, either!

[Dinger]

Alcohol in 'the port' as we in the know call it consists of either Buckfast wine with a screw top bottle, 3 litre bottles of white Lightening cider mixed with Brasso or if you are classy Bacardi Breezers or WKD blue
Dinger

[Dinger]

[quote]Don't worry Dinger, they are just Jealous &nbsp;

To right they are mate who won the triple crown this year

[Mick F]

Too bloody right mate.

Swing low sweet chariot me arse..

Mick

[Conor]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (drman @ April 13 2004,10:11)]Too bloody right mate.

Swing low sweet chariot me arse..

Mick

LMAO

[Snash]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Dinger @ April 09 2004,21:08)]Alcohol in 'the port' as we in the know call it consists of either Buckfast wine with a screw top bottle, 3 litre bottles of white Lightening cider mixed with Brasso or if you are classy Bacardi Breezers or WKD blue
Dinger

I seem to remember on a couple or trips to Rathlin and also to trips to Donegal and Achill Island that we availed oursleves of a fantasticly cheap drink (er tramp juice actually) called Mundays. It was a South African fortified wine of some sorts and it led to a number of head spinning, legs failing evenings &nbsp;

I have not seen it on this side of the water.

It led to a trip motto of &quot;I don't like Mondays, I lurrrrrvvveee Mundays&quot; &nbsp;

Have you guys ever partaken of Mundays
Simon