More Blonde Jokes

[Mr T.]

She was Soooooooo Blonde . . .
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."
   
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
 
She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde..
* She tripped over a cordless phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "Concentrate."
* She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
   
She was Soooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She studied for a blood test.
* She sold the car for gas money.
* When she missed bus #44 she took bus #22 twice instead.
* When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
   
She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said "TGIF," which she thought stood for "This Goes In Front."


She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

* She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.

[Mr T.]

birdie birdie flying by
dropped some 'whitewash' in my eye

me no care
me no cry
me just glad that COWS dont fly!!




Two buddies, Ralph and Rob, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Rob throws up all over himself.

"Oh, no. Now Jane will kill me!"

Ralph says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty in your breast pocket, tell Jane that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty quid for the dry cleaning bill."

So they stay for another couple of hours and got even drunker.

Eventually Rob rolls into home and his wife Jane starts to give him a bad time.

"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! My God, you're disgusting!"

Speaking very carefully, so as not to slur, Rob says, "Now wainaminit, I can e'splain everything! Itsh not what you think. I only had a couple drinks. But this other guy got sick on me ... he'd had one too many and he just couldn't hold his booze. He said he was very sorry an' gave twenty bucks for the cleaning bill!"

Jane looks in the breast pocket and says, "But this is forty quid!?"

"Oh, yeah...I almos' forgot, he shat in my pants, too."

[Fiona]

<font color='#0000FF'>You are being very kiddy today Mr T, have you been on the lemonade &nbsp;

[Bethi]

<font color='#F52887'>Oi im blonde! We'll have a less of them blonde jokes thank you very much
Although the older i get the more 'blonde remarks' i seem to make....
such as,
'Mexico is in Spain' (no matter what anyone tells me i still belive this)
Driving on the way back frm Manchester at the top of the penines or something i said, 'Cool, is that the sea? *points at a reservoir*'
&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

[Jules]

yes i can verify the truth of Bethi's blondness but i thought it was just her winding us up!
Bethi should think of some Ginger jokes for Tierney...by the way his head was inspected today and ginger hairs WERE definately located!

[Mr T.]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Julia C @ April 18 2004,22:03)]Bethi should think of some Ginger jokes for Tierney...by the way his head was inspected today and ginger hairs WERE definately located!

'Inspected'!? 'Located'!? Herrumph!

The one's you found were auburn - and there isn't a court in the land who'd convict me!

Where's Hanz Blix when ya need him?!

[Bethi]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Bren Tierney @ April 18 2004,22:32)]

'Inspected'!? 'Located'!? Herrumph!

The one's you found were auburn - and there isn't a court in the land who'd convict me!

Where's Hanz Blix when ya need him?!

<font color='#F52887'>GINGER MINGER!!!!! &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp;

[Diving Dude]

Hey Jules, control your sprog, calling Bren a Ginger Minger??

l think he'll accept minger as being fairly accurate (so l'm told, never having actually met) but ginger??

ADDED

Actually Bren if l had my head inspected and they found any hair I would suspect their eyesight.

[Bethi]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (diving dude @ April 19 2004,00:14)]Hey Jules, control your sprog, calling Bren a Ginger Minger??

l think he'll accept minger as being fairly accurate (so l'm told, never having actually met) but ginger??

ADDED

Actually Bren if l had my head inspected and they found any hair I would suspect their eyesight.

<font color='#F52887'>it wasnt meant to say minger it was meant to be like ginger minjer or sumthing like that, to rhyme with ginger?

[Bethi]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (diving dude @ April 19 2004,00:14)]Hey Jules, control your sprog, calling Bren a Ginger Minger??

<font color='#F52887'>and oi! dont call me a sprog!