Mens Rules

[FOX]

<font color='#348781'>At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the guys' side of the story.

(I must admit, it's pretty good.)

We always hear &quot;the rules&quot; from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

Please note... these are all numbered &quot;1&quot; ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.


1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like theVictoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,&quot; we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

[Paul Beal]

Outstanding - the last sentence wil probably apply now

Paul

[fluice]

Sorry.... was I a bit slow at responding to that one dear? &nbsp;

Sleeping on our sofa would be a lot like camping, you wake up with a bad a back and feathers up your nose &nbsp;

[Ian B]

<font color='#0000FF'>Discussed this with my better half. She has a problem with item no.1

[Diving Daisy]

Ten things men know about women.
1 They have tits.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10....and a fanny

[Dave Crampton]

<font color='#000080'>I think you ment:

Ten things men know about women.
1. They have tits.
2. They fart loudly in public.
3. They spend our money.
4. They insist on dragging us round ladies clothes shops when they know we don't want to have any valid input.
5. They don't see the bedroom floor as an extension of my wardrobe/linen basket.
6. Its always our turn to put away the dive kit.
7. Not happy with hogging the TV during the weekdays watching soap, they want to watch Soap omnibus on Sunday morning too.
8. They think the living room during that great Discovery program is the time and place for dryinghair/hoovering/shaving their legs.
9. They like to think they're in charge.
10....and a fanny

And I'll be in my bed tonight, as Josie is away at the SETT  

Dave C

[Diving Daisy]

Written like a true gent......... mind you your missus WILL find out about this. I think your in trouble! lol

Ian