Oldie but goodie...

[Ratbag]

Postman Pat's Last Day
>
>
> It was Postman Pat's last day on the job after 35 years of
>carrying the post through all kinds of weather to the same neighbourhood.
>
>
> When he arrived at the first house on his route, he was greeted by
>the whole family there, who all hugged and congratulated him and sent
>him on his way with a gift cheque for £50.
>
>
> At the second house they presented him fine Cuban cigars in
>an18-carat gold box.
>
>
> The folks at the third house handed him a case of 30-year old
>Scotch whisky.
>
>
> At the fourth house he was met at the door by a dumb blonde in her
> lingerie. She took him by the arm and led him up the stairs to the
>bedroom where she blew his mind with the most passionate love he had ever
> experienced.
>
>
> When he had had enough they went downstairs, where the dumb blonde
>fixed him a giant breakfast: eggs, tomatoes, bacon, sausage, beans and
> freshly-squeezed orange juice. When he was truly satisfied she
>poured him a cup of steaming coffee.
>
>
> As she was pouring, he noticed a five pound note sticking out from
>under the cup's bottom edge. "All this was just too wonderful for
>words, he said, but what's the fiver for?"
>
>
> Well," said the dumb blonde, "last night, I told my husband that
>today would be your last day, and that we should do something special
>for you. I asked him what to give you.
>
>
> He said, "F**k him....Give him a fiver."
>
>
> "The breakfast was my idea."