13 tips for a successful marriage

[Alun]

1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.

2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Ontario and mine is in Tucson.

3. I take my wife everywhere.....but she keeps finding her way back.

4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. " Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.

5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.

7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."

8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said "No, jump in!"

10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.

11. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.

12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.

13. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked "What's on the TV?" I said "Dust!"

[Helen F H]

I aint ever getting married. Ever.

[Col.Maniac]

Originally Posted by Porg

I aint ever getting married. Ever.

ditto

[NeilB]

Marry someone you like talking to. When you get old a good conversation is the best you can look forward to!

[Gareth Burrows]

i was gonna get married, but I don't believe in paying for sex

[nigel]

Your either Happy or Married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Nigel

[abucksdiver]

Sorry, call me old-fashioned if you will, but I have to stand up and say that I'm married, and its great!

(I will admit that as we've only been married for TWELVE years - on Thursday, if you are interested - , I guess that we are still in the "honeymoon" stage ....)

Regards
Andrew

[Phoenix]

My ex-wife initiated divorce proceedings 3 times, on the 3rd time she went through with it (3.5 yrs ago). We weren't actually that good at splitting up though and I doubt we went more than 48hrs without speaking and/or seeing each other.

We now live together and things are much better than before, we've just agreed to accept the things we dislike about each other and that we can't live apart.

Ian

[turbanator]

A batchelor is someone who doesn't make the same mistake once.

[KimH]

Originally Posted by abucksdiver

Sorry, call me old-fashioned if you will, but I have to stand up and say that I'm married, and its great!

(I will admit that as we've only been married for TWELVE years - on Thursday, if you are interested - , I guess that we are still in the "honeymoon" stage ....)

Regards
Andrew

Good on yer.

We've been together for 35 years (married 31 in September) and it keeps on getting better. Since we got rid of the kids it's party on and we both dive so that makes things a hell of a lot easier.

It may not be everyone's cup of tea it just depends what you want out of life but it certainly works for us.