I may have solved the World energy crisis!

[Finless]

Following on from other posts in which the subject of intestinal gaseous expulsions cropped up, I think the answer to the World’s energy crisis is obvious. Everyone should be forced to fart into bags and the gas should be collected, stored and refined. Are there different qualities of fart? Would refining be necessary?

I suppose, once the idea has caught on, there would be a nationwide installation of public collection points. One could go to the nearest collection point (in the local shopping centre for example) and fart into the collection tube. Eventually, people could be graded by the quality of their farts and perhaps have a range of tubes to choose from (equivalent to diesel, unleaded, 5 star etc).

In the event of a severe winter when there is a heavy use of energy resources for heating the Government could issue Public Appeals like "Your Country needs your gas" etc. Of course Germany would have a head start in the catchy advert lines with Fart for the FARTherland (yes, I know that was a bit tenuous).

Well? Why not?

[Conor]

Or after every day on a rib, before unzipping, you could decant the gases from the divers' dry suits and use it to fuel the next seabound trip.