Would You Hear the Phone Ring??

[Narked@50]

Two thin guys were walking down the road, they came to an alley way which got tight towards the end. The first thin guy turns to his friend and says "do you think we could both fit down there together?" his friend looks concerned and says "only if the fat bloke moves."  

My wife is so big that when she stops motorists treat her as a roundabout.

Fatty and skinny went to bed, fatty rolled over and skinny was dead.

James    

[Doug Parker]

I wouldn't want the phone to ring, i'd want the alarm clock to wake me up because if that pig was sat on my face it would mean, i was asleep and in the middle of a f***ing nightmare.

[Adrian Kelland]

Don't sit on the fence Doug, just say what you really mean

[Snash]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Adrian Kelland @ Dec. 23 2003,09:03)]Don't sit on the fence Doug, just say what you really mean

I thought Doug was the one being sat on  

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[Moray]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Porg @ Dec. 22 2003,21:02)]... in jest, not as a cutting bitchy remark for which i would have stapled his testicles to his earlobes and his foreskin to his chin).

... one of the funniest things i read was "all things being equal, fat people use more soap" - out of lifes simple observations, that is a classic.  I dont want to look like Jennifer Lopez, Posh, or anyone else.  

I laugh at short jokes (watch you dont trip over your tampon string etc)
I laugh at blonde jokes (what do you call three blondes sat together?  A wind tunnel)
I laugh at men jokes (oh where to begin...)
I laugh at everything that i find funny.  If you dont like that, bite me.

Hey porg

marry me please *grin* we can discuss who gets the sex change later....but I could live with that sense of humor!

moray ( I've a right to be fat!)

[Skeletor]

I doubt very much if I would hear the phone actually ring as such, I suspect it would be more of an echo.  Besides which, it extremely unlikely that I would be in that situation in the first place having not yet recieved the appropriate training in making deep penetrations into an overhead environment.

Don't worry . . . . . I'm already on the way out the door.

Bren, Porg, Should we happen to meet at one of the YD gigs that I have promised myself to attend next year, I owe you both a drink for providing a welcome respite to the monotiny of work.

[Dominic]

Fortunately, as somebody not sad enouh to watch all these crappy reality shows, I join SW in not having the faintest idea who the Hell you're talking about

"Garfield, it isn't healthy for you to be as fat as you are. Why, you could get fallen arches... get heart disease... get harpooned!"

[Rick Huggins]

<font color='#0000FF'>I say old bean, a full face mask would be in order, wot, wot!

Bet she's got a f**ny like a bank robbers face!

[Dr Stevil]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (narkedat50 @ Dec. 22 2003,22:10)]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]As for her voice, a slim person could not sound that way

Errr.... not that I like the woman as an artist but have you heard Whitney Houston sing? Thin as a model and a voice as big as a whale

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]As for her lifestyle which is currently being reported in the press, she is happy with what she is and has

Go on then, clue me in, what's so odd about her ?

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]...Kylie...

Mmmmmmm.... Kylie.... &nbsp; &nbsp;is there a heterosexual red blooded male who doesn't fancy her ?

Anyhoo... isn't this sailing a bit close to HB.net sty-lee?
What happened to the supposed xmas spirit, fellowship amongst all people, big group hugs yadda yadda yadda

Chee-az
The Grinch!

[Snash]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Steve W @ Dec. 23 2003,11:08)]Mmmmmmm.... Kylie....    is there a heterosexual red blooded male who doesn't fancy her ?

Viz once memorably called her:

&quot;the tiny t!tted teen temptress&quot;



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