Things I hate (a comedic rantette)

[Woz]

Originally Posted by Mrs Mares

Your mind is getting dangerously close to the gutter

It's already well in the gutter and being washed away by streams of drivvely shite. And used jhonnies.

Originally Posted by Woz

It's already well in the gutter and being washed away by streams of drivvely shite. And used jhonnies.

[Helen F H]

Originally Posted by Woz

It's already well in the gutter and being washed away by streams of drivvely shite. And used jhonnies.

and drunks getting carried away in the rivers of ming

[Helen F H]

1. Ikea
2. Motorway tail gaters
3. Tarmac selling pikeys
4. People at a supermarket checkout who pay with a cheque then guarantee it with a switch card
5. Bad manners
6. Litter droppers
7. Ikea again.
8. Folk that are all mouth and no trousers
9. People that drive at 35mph on a single carriageway A road.
10. Folk that drive in the "fast lane" (sarcastic) when theres nothing about
11. Cold grey days when it is drizzling and feels like it will be a hundred years until Spring comes again
12. People that moan about paying 70p to use a credit card.
13. Cowboy customers who try to rip builders off.
14. Vodka
15. People who stop at roundabouts when there is nothing coming.
16. People who drive way too close to learner drivers.
17. People who mess up the quote function in the way that I have rather than copying and pasting
18. Coleslaw
19. Those peanuts with pink skins
20. Credit cards
21. Bosses
22. Hangovers
23. people who post when I am and screw up the thread
24. People who drive straight across two lanes at a roundabout, reducing them to a single lane
25. Speed cameras
26. School run mothers
27. Jehova's witnesses
28. Charity muggers
29. Camera phones
30. People who try and try and get you to do banal things by saying "But it will be fun!".
31. Linux
32. Any IT person who describes themself as "a guru" (they're not).
33. Rice pudding
34. Lager
35. Pipe smokers
36. Whinging Kids
37. Bee Em Fcucking Doubleyooz
38. Liver
39. Dull people who have 'you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps' signs on their desks.
40. Whisky
41. People who chuck fag ends out of car windows
42. Dogs that sniff your bollocks
43. Dogs that lick your feet
44. Badly trained dogs
45. Barking dogs for no reason (a theme here perhaps?)
46. Dogs that lick their owners faces and their owners think it's cute
47. Can I just underline the tarmac selling/driveway laying pikey comment. I feel it deserves to be in this list twice.
48. Tarmac selling pikeys again.
49. Mercedes drivers. You don't own the road, you know. Oh- you do. Well in that case, after you, sir.
50. People who whinge
51. Pikeys who nick my car stereo and then dump it in a ditch so I can find it when they've gone, but in the mean time shit on it
52. Politicians, they are just lying b*std Pikeys who are too lazy to lay dodgy tarmac
53. British weather this summer!
54. having dives blown out
55. People at cash machines who have to check balances in all of their accounts and get reciepts and use about 3 cards to withdraw £10
56.People at airport check-ins who ask every question under the sun and take about 25mins to check in to fly to London and behave as if they have never been out in the big bad world before
57. No Win No Fee BASTARDS
58. People who use the No Win No Fee BASTARDS to claim for 'psychological trauma' for tripping and grazing their knee
59. Girls who are 20stone and wear thongs and low cut jeans so that we can see the thong
60. Girls that are 20 stone and wear belly tops - please don't
61. Mutton dressed as Lamb - the pivotal figures in the NMS aka No Mirror Syndrome
62. Drunk people who stand and argue for 20mins when they can't understand the statement - we are closed/we are full up
63. People who are on benefits for 10yrs and just can't get a job but claim for any benefit around
64. Those stupid people I used to work in a shop with as a kid who just spend their pointless lives gossiping and back stabbing each other - accept the fact you are a pain in the arse and no-one really likes you and you are simply insecure and ugly
65. People who have suffered a nervous breakdown and always remind you at every opportunity that they were ill once and how it has affected them and will talk about it for 25hrs in a day if they could.
66. May I underline the No Win No Fee BASTARDS
67. Chavs/Spides/Millies/Neds/Scallys
68. Bra burning feminists and Peter 'I have a serious chip on my shoulder cause I was born gay' Tatchell
69. The heirarchy in the church that protected paedophiles for years and won't apologise
70. People who just complain about governments and would rather the place be a communist state
71. Vegans - WHY?
72. Animal Rights protesters - piss off will you
73. Americans who believe in America and God and in that order
74. Americans who collect for the IRA and think they are Irish - NO YOU ARE NOT YOUR JUST FAT AND GULLIBLE
75. Earth mothers who are still breast feeding kids at 6
76. PC wallahs who have banned words such as 'husband' and 'wife'
77. Smelly people - please wash will you
78. People who never buy their round cause they are so tight fisted but skull pints like everyone else
79. People who order drinks one at a time and order Guinness last
80. People who sue doctors for and I quote " we needed the money and sure your rich" - ps they got fuck all
81. People who brag about diving in the red sea.
82. Deep Blue of Tynemouth.
83. People who instead of washing out the first cup they use, go and get a clean one off the shelf for every cup of coffee.
84. People who dont refill the photocopier paper.
85. "Divers" - people who go on holiday and dive once a year and yet talk like they taught Hogarth what to do.
86. The Royal Family
87. Half mice left by the cat
88. People who are rich and didnt lift a finger to get rich.
100. EVERYBODY!

[Garf]

jesus porg, that's a whole lotta hate

[Diving Dude]

Originally Posted by Porg

..................................
86. The Royal Family............................................ ....

Lil' dudess, l hope you mean the TV Royal Family and not Phil & Liz?

[louigi]

Originally Posted by diving dude

Lil' dudess, l hope you mean the TV Royal Family and not Phil & Liz?

How dare you hate my naighbours thats my job.
people who think they are property developers and know f/all about building then try to get trade prices.
poxy customers.

[Fathoms Down]

1. Ikea
2. Motorway tail gaters
3. Tarmac selling pikeys
4. People at a supermarket checkout who pay with a cheque then guarantee it with a switch card
5. Bad manners
6. Litter droppers
7. Ikea again.
8. Folk that are all mouth and no trousers
9. People that drive at 35mph on a single carriageway A road.
10. Folk that drive in the "fast lane" (sarcastic) when theres nothing about
11. Cold grey days when it is drizzling and feels like it will be a hundred years until Spring comes again
12. People that moan about paying 70p to use a credit card.
13. Cowboy customers who try to rip builders off.
14. Vodka
15. People who stop at roundabouts when there is nothing coming.
16. People who drive way too close to learner drivers.
17. People who mess up the quote function in the way that I have rather than copying and pasting
18. Coleslaw
19. Those peanuts with pink skins
20. Credit cards
21. Bosses
22. Hangovers
23. people who post when I am and screw up the thread
24. People who drive straight across two lanes at a roundabout, reducing them to a single lane
25. Speed cameras
26. School run mothers
27. Jehova's witnesses
28. Charity muggers
29. Camera phones
30. People who try and try and get you to do banal things by saying "But it will be fun!".
31. Linux
32. Any IT person who describes themself as "a guru" (they're not).
33. Rice pudding
34. Lager
35. Pipe smokers
36. Whinging Kids
37. Bee Em Fcucking Doubleyooz
38. Liver
39. Dull people who have 'you don't have to be mad to work here but it helps' signs on their desks.
40. Whisky
41. People who chuck fag ends out of car windows
42. Dogs that sniff your bollocks
43. Dogs that lick your feet
44. Badly trained dogs
45. Barking dogs for no reason (a theme here perhaps?)
46. Dogs that lick their owners faces and their owners think it's cute
47. Can I just underline the tarmac selling/driveway laying pikey comment. I feel it deserves to be in this list twice.
48. Tarmac selling pikeys again.
49. Mercedes drivers. You don't own the road, you know. Oh- you do. Well in that case, after you, sir.
50. People who whinge
51. Pikeys who nick my car stereo and then dump it in a ditch so I can find it when they've gone, but in the mean time shit on it
52. Politicians, they are just lying b*std Pikeys who are too lazy to lay dodgy tarmac
53. British weather this summer!
54. having dives blown out
55. People at cash machines who have to check balances in all of their accounts and get reciepts and use about 3 cards to withdraw £10
56.People at airport check-ins who ask every question under the sun and take about 25mins to check in to fly to London and behave as if they have never been out in the big bad world before
57. No Win No Fee BASTARDS
58. People who use the No Win No Fee BASTARDS to claim for 'psychological trauma' for tripping and grazing their knee
59. Girls who are 20stone and wear thongs and low cut jeans so that we can see the thong
60. Girls that are 20 stone and wear belly tops - please don't
61. Mutton dressed as Lamb - the pivotal figures in the NMS aka No Mirror Syndrome
62. Drunk people who stand and argue for 20mins when they can't understand the statement - we are closed/we are full up
63. People who are on benefits for 10yrs and just can't get a job but claim for any benefit around
64. Those stupid people I used to work in a shop with as a kid who just spend their pointless lives gossiping and back stabbing each other - accept the fact you are a pain in the arse and no-one really likes you and you are simply insecure and ugly
65. People who have suffered a nervous breakdown and always remind you at every opportunity that they were ill once and how it has affected them and will talk about it for 25hrs in a day if they could.
66. May I underline the No Win No Fee BASTARDS
67. Chavs/Spides/Millies/Neds/Scallys
68. Bra burning feminists and Peter 'I have a serious chip on my shoulder cause I was born gay' Tatchell
69. The heirarchy in the church that protected paedophiles for years and won't apologise
70. People who just complain about governments and would rather the place be a communist state
71. Vegans - WHY?
72. Animal Rights protesters - piss off will you
73. Americans who believe in America and God and in that order
74. Americans who collect for the IRA and think they are Irish - NO YOU ARE NOT YOUR JUST FAT AND GULLIBLE
75. Earth mothers who are still breast feeding kids at 6
76. PC wallahs who have banned words such as 'husband' and 'wife'
77. Smelly people - please wash will you
78. People who never buy their round cause they are so tight fisted but skull pints like everyone else
79. People who order drinks one at a time and order Guinness last
80. People who sue doctors for and I quote " we needed the money and sure your rich" - ps they got fuck all
81. People who brag about diving in the red sea.
82. Deep Blue of Tynemouth.
83. People who instead of washing out the first cup they use, go and get a clean one off the shelf for every cup of coffee.
84. People who dont refill the photocopier paper.
85. "Divers" - people who go on holiday and dive once a year and yet talk like they taught Hogarth what to do.
86. The Royal Family
87. Half mice left by the cat
88. People who are rich and didnt lift a finger to get rich.
89. Dolites
90. Labourites
91. Camera phones
92. People who winge about people being richer than they are and do nothing about it (get a better job or stop whining!).
93. People who take Ken Livingston seriously
94. Organised religeon.
95. Bad customer service.
96. Telemarketing.
97. Spam email.
98. Mobile phone "pop" ringtones.
99. Tabloids.
100. EVERYBODY!

[Woz]

Well I hope you all feel better now.

[diveross]

Originally Posted by Conor

Who would want to buy a Pikey?

I bought 2 from Tarmac last week...but i'm Irish...

Bit smelly though...and they stole my eyes