Things I hate (a comedic rantette)

[diveross]

Originally Posted by Conor

Who would want to buy a Pikey?

I bought 2 from Tarmac last week...but i'm Irish...

Bit smelly though...and they stole my eyes

[Helen F H]

Originally Posted by Woz

Well I hope you all feel better now.

Yes. You should sell this kind of thing - wozstressreliever

[DanE]

Hate something? Change something. Make something better...

dan.
ps. Really must get rid of my Honda.

[Conor]

Originally Posted by diveross

I bought 2 from Tarmac last week...but i'm Irish...

Bit smelly though...and they stole my eyes

But at least you get to drive over them on your way to and from work each day

[tom]

Originally Posted by Conor

But at least you get to drive over them on your way to and from work each day

what, pikeys? aren't there laws against that?

[Conor]

I think you have to indicate before pulling into your driveway

[Mr T.]

* Professional 'victims'
* Scousers who reckon they've got a world monopoly on 'humour', when they have nothing like it (sorry, but 'eh, dey bombed our chippy' just isn't - and never was - funny! Get used to it!)
* Bernard 'Unfunny Fat Fuck' Manning
* People claiming 'rights' and ignoring any and all aspects to do with 'responsibility'
* Folks who reckon the world owes them a living
* Fucking students who reckon that they've got the world sussed - from the cosy confines of the Uni Bar and a Karrimor full of tired and out-moded theories (which were disproved before they were born)
* Liberals who reckon that 'it's no one's fault' and 'there are no losers - only partakers'
* PC-wallahs
* People with no terms of reference
* Chavs
* People who think that the Police should be fuckin social workers
* Social Workers
* People who don't understand that things don't just 'happen - they're a direct result of cause and effect
* Tabloids
* Robert bastard Murdoch
* Donald Trump (and his harridan, money-grubbing former wife)
* Twats who think that money is a judge of either character or breeding
* The nouveaux riches - all of the money, but no clue or style
* Fuckwits who don't understand that 'class' is all in the mind
* Folks who think fashion is important
* Folks who can't grasp that Britney, Christina Ag, ALL the Boy/Girl Bands et al are only product and have no intrinsic value or worth
* Sad fucks who play video games on their own
* Video games
* All the Star Wars films except the first three
* ALL TV 'Soaps' (or 'Chav TV' as it now known)
* Folks who don't appreciate History and its lessons
* Paris Hilton (with or without the hotel 'video' of her chewing bell)
* Twats who refer to David Beckham (and any other contemporary footballer) as 'legendary'
* Association Football (nancy boys and hair dressers to a man!)
* Sporting 'agents' - scum of the earth
* Max Clifford - sorry, there aren't the words to describe this filth
* Illiterates, whose only saving grace is the fact that they can kick a ball straight - when without this, ahem, 'skill', the'd be rendering society their true vocation which would be packing cheese in boxes at the local factory
* Folks who use voodoo acronyms like 'IMHO' when responding to any even remotely contentious thread on here or elsewhere - the very fact that you are submitting an answer to the point in question denotes that it is your opinion!!
* Folks who say 'a combat situation'!! - Combat IS a situation - ergo tautology, ergo redundant!
* Jordan - the alleged model (she should just come clean and revert to appearing in porn movies)
* Formula 1 car racing!! What the fuck is the point of this? Cars going fast round a track?! Sorry, it does not give me a chubby!
* The characterless twats who drive the cars in Formula 1 racing!
* Folks who can justify virtually any situation or wrong doing by any D-list minor (alleged) celebrity with the throw-away line: "yeah, but look at how much money they earn!"
* Michael fuckin Jackson - of course he not really a Paedophile!
* Andrew Neill (alleged journalist, comb-over specialist and tosser extraordinaire)
* Jim Davidson (was he ever funny?)
* Kathy Lette
* Folks who still haven't bubbled the fact that neither Damien Hirst nor Tracey Emin are artists
* Folks who are still convinced that Martial Arts films are, in any way, 'cool'
* Folks who still use the term 'cool' (when not referring to temperature)
* Science Fiction (sad, sad, sad)
* Folks who are still not convinced that all Tom Cruise plays in any film he's in is merely Tom Cruise
* People who prefer beautiful bodies to beautiful minds
* Polly fuckin Toynbee
* London
* The fact that no nurse or fire-fighter can afford to buy a house in London
* 'Managers' and 'Specialists' who can't dazzle with brilliance so instead attempt to baffle with bullshit (the 'Buzzword Bingo Brigade')
* Oprah et al - charlatans and psychobabble-wallahs, the lot of them.
* Folks who use the term 'make over' - so when did it cease being 'make up'?


I could go on....

[Janos]

Neil Warnock.

[Janos]

Oooh and the entire works of Phil F'in Collins, with his nasal whine. Nnnrrgh.
And Grease, the Musical.
Tinned tuna.

Err.

That's it.

Laters,
Janos

[chrisch]

Originally Posted by Mr T.

I could go on....

I am very worried that I agreed with just about all of this... Shit Bren I need to disagree with you somewhere!!!

One point Who is Kathy Lette? Why should I dislike her? (I probably will...)

Chris