British responses to Bombings

[CotoChris]

Originally Posted by Lou

I think you have to take this a little more lightly - it is nothing more than a bit of British black humour. If you can't laugh, what can you do......

You probaly right and tommorow morning I'll think - what the heck was I thinking! However at the mo I can't seem to find my sense of humour although I did have a laugh at the other comments.

[dry suit diver]

Originally Posted by Lou

I think you have to take this a little more lightly - it is nothing more than a bit of British black humour. If you can't laugh, what can you do......

My wife said on hearing that one of the bombers was a primary school teacher and from Leeds (she is a primary teacher and has worked in leeds)

'no wonder he was suicidal'

[Duncan Price]

Originally Posted by greekbird

From Metaquotes:

"Al Qaeda say: 'Britain is now burning with fear, terror and panic in its northern, southern, eastern, and western quarters.' Bitch, please. Osama, you live in a fucking cave. You're like an evil Batman or something. No wonder you have a thing for blowing up commuters, because you will never commute because you live in a cave. You see transport, and you are filled with rage, because you? Live in a cave. You could try forming a political wing to... oh, wait, you can't because YOU LIVE IN A CAVE. Twat.

The BBC paused news coverage to show *Eastenders*. That'd be the nationwide fear, terror and panic, then."

Bloody marvelous - I shall be thinking of this when I'm down my cave.

[Mr T.]

Eastenders' response:

"So, we've lost our house, all our possession, the clothes off our backs and young Chardonnay has lost her mobile phone! Never mind, eh. Who's for a nice cup of tea?"

[lost everything except the kettle it would seem ]

[AirHog]

Originally Posted by dry suit diver

My wife said on hearing that one of the bombers was a primary school teacher and from Leeds (she is a primary teacher and has worked in leeds)

'no wonder he was suicidal'

Apparently, it wasn't al-Queda but a factionist arm of the Leeds Liberation Front. They have just released their demands; they want:

1) Free chips and gravy every Friday and Saturday, no, sod it, EVERY night after the pubs turn out
2) Everyone in the UK to be told what the word Cob actually means when referring to a bread roll (?)
3) Glass throwing be recognised as an Olympic sport
last but not least
4) A decent football team

Regards

MArk

[greekbird]

Originally Posted by AirHog

Apparently, it wasn't al-Queda but a factionist arm of the Leeds Liberation Front. They have just released their demands; they want:

1) Free chips and gravy every Friday and Saturday, no, sod it, EVERY night after the pubs turn out
2) Everyone in the UK to be told what the word Cob actually means when referring to a bread roll (?)
3) Glass throwing be recognised as an Olympic sport
last but not least
4) A decent football team

Regards

MArk

no, no noooo, it was the People's Liberation Front of Leeds

[Gavin Yates]

In the BBC Radio 4 series Old Harry's Game - written by Andy Hamilton of Drop the Dead Donkey fame there is a section which is apt.

Old Harry's Game is set in Hell and concerns the characters of Satan, his acolytes and those who have been sent to the fiery pit.

I'm doing this from memory but you'll get the idea.

SATAN: What is that bloody noise?

ACOLYTE: It's a suicide bomber wailing oh dark Lord. Do you want me to torment him?

SATAN: No, bring him to me.

Enter Suicide Bomber

SB: Oh Allah - am I really here in heaven?

SATAN: Not quite me old son.

SB: But the Imam said that I would be rewarded with seven virgins and eternal happiness.

SATAN: Fraid not mate, that was what we call in the business " a big lie"

SB: No virgins then?

SATAN: No, but we have got something for you?

SB: Excellent - what's that.

SATAN: A plague of locusts breeding and dying and then rotting in your bowels forever.

SB: Oh Bugger. Is this the worst punishment in the whole of hell?

SATAN: You should see what we do to the estate agents.

[Adrian Kelland]

Originally Posted by Gavin Yates

In the BBC Radio 4 series Old Harry's Game - written by Andy Hamilton of Drop the Dead Donkey fame there is a section which is apt.

Old Harry's Game is set in Hell and concerns the characters of Satan, his acolytes and those who have been sent to the fiery pit.

I'm doing this from memory but you'll get the idea.

SATAN: What is that bloody noise?

ACOLYTE: It's a suicide bomber wailing oh dark Lord. Do you want me to torment him?

SATAN: No, bring him to me.

Enter Suicide Bomber

SB: Oh Allah - am I really here in heaven?

SATAN: Not quite me old son.

SB: But the Imam said that I would be rewarded with seven virgins and eternal happiness.

SATAN: Fraid not mate, that was what we call in the business " a big lie"

SB: No virgins then?

SATAN: No, but we have got something for you?

SB: Excellent - what's that.

SATAN: A plague of locusts breeding and dying and then rotting in your bowels forever.

SB: Oh Bugger. Is this the worst punishment in the whole of hell?

SATAN: You should see what we do to the estate agents.

I often think of that piece most people I know have never heard of the series.

[Bantam]

Originally Posted by AirHog

2) Everyone in the UK to be told what the word Cob actually means when referring to a bread roll (?)

Crusty Cob is a midlands thing I think - that's what we used to call them anyway. (From Birmingham)

You meant Breadcake? WTF is a Breadcake.

It's a f-in bread roll. It's not a cake by any stretch of the imagination.

[Bantam]

Originally Posted by Chris Guimaraens

Personally I reckon that comment is below the belt. I'm no friend of France and loved it when Paris lost the Olympics, the fact they lost made London victory even sweeter. However to imply they had anything to do with the bombings is a rough comment.
(Made me wonder if the bombs went off a day earlier the Olympic decision would differ)

Woah Woah Woah there Chris. Did you not notice the winky at the end of the sentence?

It was sarcastic humour, and nothing more.

However, they did have a pop at our food. Like, ok, who eats snails and horses? Not us, m'friend!

(By the way, my family is French, so I don't think I'd cut off my own nose etc..!)

Obrigado

Mark.