British responses to Bombings

[greekbird]

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These terrorists are rubbish

They'll be caught next week, having successfully demonstrated that the

British react to terrorism with indifference. We grew up with it, you see.

What with this being a civilised country, they will not receive the death

penalty, but be locked up for the rest of their lives, to be regularly

sodomised by other inmates while they slowly realise that their

interpretation of their religion is a pile of old hokum. Whoops.

Meanwhile, I'll be out in London, partying. Tossers.

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All these explosions are rather scary.

Don't suppose the French are that sore at losing the Olympics, are they?


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"I'd like to congratulate today's terrorists for achieving nothing but

instilling a fierce patriotism back into theBritish Isles, creating a

rather wide-spread rash of Blitz Spirit, and giving me a day off work.

I'm a bit pissed off that you nearly blew up some of my friends, but at the

end of the day - you failed. We're still here, we're not scared of you."

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When the news reporter said "Shopkeepers are opening their doors bringing

out blankets and cups of tea" I just smiled. It's like yes.

That's Britain for you. Tea solves everything.

You're a bit cold?

Tea.

Your boyfriend has just left you?

Tea.

You've just been told you've got cancer?

Tea.

Coordinated terrorist attack on the transport network bringing the city to a

grinding halt?

TEA DAMMIT!

And if it's really serious, they may bring out the coffee. The Americans

have their alert raised to red, we break out the coffee. That's for

situations more serious than this of course. Like anotherEngland penalty

shoot-out [in soccer].

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"It's hard to panic the British. They've dealt with the Blitz, the IRA, the

Silurians, the Zarbi, the Daleks, the Cybermen..."


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To quote an old Londoner who lived through the blitz and got caught up in

theCanary Wharf explosion: "I've been blown up by a better class of bastard

than this!"

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"We took on the Romans, the Saxons, the Danes, the French, William Wallace,

the Black Plague, the Roundheads, the Great Fire, Napoleon, the Nazis, and

the Blitz, and we're still here. You terrorists are bloody amateurs."


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They did their worst, and they managed to disrupt our transport network and

get fatalities in the low double figures. That happens on a fairly regular

basis anyway, you twits. What's your next trick - a fiendish weather control

device which makes it rain on a bank holiday weekend?"

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From Metaquotes:

"Al Qaeda say: 'Britain is now burning with fear, terror and panic in its

northern, southern, eastern, and western quarters.' Bitch, please.

Osama, you live in a fucking cave. You're like an evil Batman or something.

No wonder you have a thing for blowing up commuters, because you will never

commute because you live in a cave. You see transport, and you are filled

with rage, because you? Live in a cave. You could try forming a political

wing to... oh, wait, you can't because YOU LIVE IN A CAVE. Twat.



The BBC paused news coverage to show *Eastenders*. That'd be the nationwide

fear, terror and panic, then."

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America says, "Let me get this straight. You've been trying for ten years to

blow up an overinflated superpower run by the petty excuse for a mad

cowboy... a country that takes three years to implement security systems

meant to compensate for yesterday's incident... the country that invented

irresponsible hysterical journalism... a country that has systematically

managed to alienate everyone in the world... and you couldn't even do

that... so you decided to take a crack atLondon? The place that has dealt

with the IRA and the Blitz? The place that gets suspicious if it hasn't been

bombed in a year? What were you thinking???

America is with you, London! Yeee-haw!"

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Israel says, "Let me get this straight. You've been trying for eighty years

to blow up a country that's smaller thanSwitzerland. A country full of your

own co-religionists, a country where every adult citizen under the age of 55

is a soldier on eleven months' leave, a country whose airline security puts

James Bond to shame... and this challenge has somehow evaded you... so you

decided to have a go atEngland? We've been dodging your shots since the

19-teens... they've been dodging your shots since the bloody Crusades! You

think we've had practice putting our lives back together: meet the guys

who've been doing it for a thousand years! You pathetic little morons! The

Spanish Armada didn't faze the English, the Nazis didn't faze the English,

and you think they're going to pay any attention to you? Ha!Israel is with

you,England! Mamash sababa!"

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[SoggyFox]

Says it all really.....

[aclivity]

Originally Posted by greekbird

What's your next trick - a fiendish weather control device which makes it rain on a bank holiday weekend?

something to make the national team fail at a sport that it made the rules up for?

[jptaylor9]

Originally Posted by greekbird

The place (London) that gets suspicious if it hasn't been bombed in a year?

My favourite...

[Bantam]

Don't suppose the French are that sore at losing the Olympics, are they?

Did cross my mind.

Also, the other thing that crossed my mind is, why Thursday morning? If they had wanted to 'be bitter about western life' and cause maximum damage, they had an ideal opportunity on the Saturday beforehand?

Something just doesn't add up here....

[DannyB]

Excellent, have some green

[Mr T.]

"We live with terrorism: we do not live in terror."

Jenny MacCartney, Journalist.

[Gavin Smith]

Originally Posted by Bantam

Did cross my mind.

Also, the other thing that crossed my mind is, why Thursday morning? If they had wanted to 'be bitter about western life' and cause maximum damage, they had an ideal opportunity on the Saturday beforehand?

Something just doesn't add up here....

Perhaps because Friday and Saturday are usually Islamic holy days. Terrorism also requires support most terorist organisations are aware that things can be pushed too far.

Gavin

[CotoChris]

Originally Posted by Bantam

Did cross my mind.

....

Personally I reckon that comment is below the belt. I'm no friend of France and loved it when Paris lost the Olympics, the fact they lost made London victory even sweeter. However to imply they had anything to do with the bombings is a rough comment.
(Made me wonder if the bombs went off a day earlier the Olympic decision would differ)

[Lou]

Originally Posted by Chris Guimaraens

Personally I reckon that comment is below the belt. I'm no friend of France and loved it when Paris lost the Olympics, the fact they lost made London victory even sweeter. However to imply they had anything to do with the bombings is a rough comment.
(Made me wonder if the bombs went off a day earlier the Olympic decision would differ)

I think you have to take this a little more lightly - it is nothing more than a bit of British black humour. If you can't laugh, what can you do......