Result! Missus Woz hates Ikea too

[Woz]

She popped in to take something back. Took a ticket and waited for 45 mins for "customer services" to get round to it (only 2 people serving). Meanwhile I went to "bargain corner" and had a long snooze on one of the sofas there until I was moved on my security who thought I was a tramp. Then off to Market Place where everyone in front of me kept stopping dead for no reason and walked around without looking where they were going.

On a plus side I managed to make a rude kid cry when he pushed past me and "accidentally" caught his face on my watch and on the way to the checkout I grabbed another trolley and chucked out all the sh1t that Missus Woz picked up as she was browsing round.

Then on the minus side I felt ill after eating meatballs and pulled a muscle while loading 50kg of side fcuking board. Then spent the next evening screwing things together and twisting things 90 degrees and putting wonky drawers straight. And they have now stuck down the lids on the display toilets so I couldn't curl one down on the sly. I did think of lying on their round bed under the duvet pretending to have one off the wrist but by then I had lost the will to live.

I'm off to stick my head in the oven. If it wasn't electric it might actually kill me.

[warmwaterdiver]

Don't you just love Sunday afternoons

[Woz]

Missus Woz drove past on Sun pm and they were queuing all the way to the dual carriageway so she turned round. Don't people have better things to do with their Sundays than go and look at wobbly mirrors?

I have found something that can be used for diving, though. It's not a knife. A small prize for anyone who can guess what it is.

[Kirstie]

Originally Posted by Woz

Missus Woz drove past on Sun pm and they were queuing all the way to the dual carriageway so she turned round. Don't people have better things to do with their Sundays than go and look at wobbly mirrors?

I have found something that can be used for diving, though. It's not a knife. A small prize for anyone who can guess what it is.

A net bag. Probably called Snurrrrglfmpf.

[tom]

Originally Posted by Woz

I have found something that can be used for diving, though. It's not a knife. A small prize for anyone who can guess what it is.

is it a rotary salad dryer?

EDIT: another guess.

Is it a tramp on a sofa?

[Bantam]

Some TROJKA Scissors?


Or some PLASTIS rubber gloves?


Or what about a SLUGIS box? Something like a cat litter tray;



I did want to suggest a BILLY bookcase, but then I started to lose the will to live.

Ooh - sensible suggestion - a BULLA bag?

[Finless]

Originally Posted by Woz

Missus Woz drove past on Sun pm and they were queuing all the way to the dual carriageway so she turned round. Don't people have better things to do with their Sundays than go and look at wobbly mirrors?

I have found something that can be used for diving, though. It's not a knife. A small prize for anyone who can guess what it is.

Is it something small? Is it your knob?

Well ........... someone was bound to say it ............... but why was it me .................. argh ............... I've been typing about Woz's knob! Arrrrrgggghhhhhiddly......ooddly.

[tom]

I bet it's some kind of plastic box he can use as a scrubber or something for his deathbreather


either that or some nice cushions

[Bantam]

Originally Posted by tom

I bet it's some kind of plastic box he can use as a scrubber or something for his deathbreather


either that or some nice cushions

What about a nice cuddly toy?



That is, as usual, holding an enormous carrot.

[tom]

that actually appears to be fellating the enormous carrot