Tesco. Will we be stacking their shelves for them next?

[NotDeadYet]

Originally Posted by frosty the snowman

it may be prudent not to do so at the checkout which is invariably staffed by ones next door neighbours seventeen year old daughter...

I had to buy a load of deco porn from the village shop whilst on a trip to France a few weeks ago. Why do they always choose that time to change shifts so the 75yr old matron comes on duty?

Do you want a bag?

Err... yes... thanks...

[Finless]

Originally Posted by NotDeadYet

I had to buy a load of deco porn from the village shop whilst on a trip to France a few weeks ago. Why do they always choose that time to change shifts so the 75yr old matron comes on duty?

Do you want a bag?

Err... yes... thanks...

You should be very careful as you could end up with a bent knob if the blood gets flowing too quickly. I'd imagine it could also affect your buoyancy?

If you do get a knob bend then you'd best hope that:-

a) The chamber techician is a girl.
b) It isn't permanent because, presumably, you will then be gay?

However, it's not all bad. If a jealous lover cuts your knob off and tries to throw it away you know it'll come back to you?

[frosty the snowman]

Originally Posted by NotDeadYet

I had to buy a load of deco porn from the village shop whilst on a trip to France a few weeks ago. Why do they always choose that time to change shifts so the 75yr old matron comes on duty?

Do you want a bag?

Err... yes... thanks...

My Mrs used to work in a newsagent and having asked the prospective purchaser of gentlemans relaxation pamphlets if they'd like a bag, she'd pretend to be looking for one until an embarrassing queue had built up, then tell her unfortunate victim that she'd run out of bags anyway.

[Stesh]

My local Tesco has fitted Radloks to all there trolleys which if you haven't used them before? Are like shopping with a landmine strapped to the front wheel of your trolley!
Because whilst shopping this lock will spring on! without warning stopping your trolley dead! Thus driving the trolley handle straight into your guts and at the same time toppling the trolley over and your shopping on to the floor!

[NotDeadYet]

Originally Posted by Finless

If you do get a knob bend then you'd best hope that:-

a) The chamber techician is a girl.

My local chamber (Murrayfield) is in a BUPA hospital. I wonder if the aftercare and physiotherapy is worth getting bent for

[Odin]

I will not use Tesco. They think they are above the law, can build without planning permission, pay our farmers a piitance for goods which they then put for sale with a HUGE mark-up.

Wherever possible I buy locally. It may seem to cost more, but I don't risk having my pimpmobile trashed in a carpark by the octogenarian in a Micra trying to park in the bay next to me. I save on fuel by not driving. I help keep local people in employment. I add to the "local atmosphere" of the community... and I can call in the Globe for a refreshment when I'm shopped out!

[UKPhil]

I tried using self scan in Asda and thought I'd be eco-friendly and use put my bag for life in the bagging area. It refused to work properly, and the assistant had to override the system...!

[wacky28]

The whole idea of the self service thing is not to speed up the process, it's just to give the other people shopping a laugh.

I love to watch the one at my local asda, you get the usual muppets using it, people in a rush, who have to scan the same item 20 times cos they do it so fast, then it says" 20 packs of bacon", old folk who talk back the animatron saying "item not recognised" " it's beans, baked beans I tell you" then my favourite the entrants in the Guinness Book of Records World Swearing Catagory.

So don't be so down on it, join in the capers!

Alternativly go to Morrisons where they have the stupid back to back tills, where one que serves 2 cashiers, then you get someone jump in cos they think no one is waiting & a minor scuffle breaks out.

I love shopping!

[Simon Lamb]

Originally Posted by Finless

Well, I assume this is for your benefit. In our area there have been a few well publicized credit card scams where the 'till person' ran cards through a scanner to copy all the details and then spend someone else's money later. In the great scheme of things I think I am much happier if no one else touches my card.

Bingo.

All supermarkets, wine stores, drug stores, almost every store, do this over here. My card is my responsibility, so handing it over to some spotty oik makes me nervous now....

Si

[Janos]

I was in Tesco the other day and they'd run out of lemongrass. FFS. It's worse than Communist Russia!

Janos