Kick 'em while they're down - a psychology question ?

[Sixsquid]

How is it that people know if an individual is having a rough time, stressed and vulnerable? What signs are these predators reading that let them know this is a person who they can push around as they aren’t, currently, strong enough to fight back?

Clearly some signals are being given out that show weakness and an inability to fight back as these 'aggressors' don’t behave like that with just anyone and they don’t try it on as a matter of course. They just seem to know when they are at such an advantage and use it with no shame.

So how do the vulnerable change those signals, before recovery, so that have a gnat in hells chance of some kind of recovery ?

[hogen-deifar]

The "pit" feeling is a classic explanation of how you feel when you have depresssion. The way to beat it? If the person doesn't want antidepressants, because they're not always the right thing for everyone, then relaxation techniques, to help teach the person to stop thinking and compounding the problem.

Positive mental attitude is another good thing. Force yourself to think of the good in a situation. Sit and figure out the good. There is something good to learn from most bad stuff, so even if that good thing is small, focus on it and build on it. Happy thoughts breed more happy thoughts.

Support of friends and close ones. Learn to switch off and not listen to what's being said.

The other issue is that when someone is that down they become slightly paranoid and see things that aren't always there. They will read something that's said in a way that is different to someone reading it who isn't down. So the person can also become their own worst enemy.

Feeling like that is tough for anyone. It's isolating and hard. However, with time and effort and a lot of tears a person can get strong again. In time.

HTH

[Sixsquid]

Good points Hoges

But what I'm really trying to understand are the signals people give out. I've seen this sort of thing before. Some aggressive types can spot a low feeling individual and swoop, without even having spoken to them.

It's very curious but it must be a natural talent probably related to the survival of the fittest theory.
So how does one control the signals they exude?

Perhaps I should modify the post to more accurately pose my question - Done

[John Touhig]

Originally Posted by Sixsquid

Good points Hoges

But what I'm really trying to understand are the signals people give out. I've seen this sort of thing before. Some aggressive types can spot a low feeling individual and swoop, without even having spoken to them.

easy, just do as your photo shows, shove two fingers up the the morons who think it's acceptable to bully people.....

Failing that get the "Dude" to go around and "Have a Chat" with them....


John

[mattward]

I think you can read alot in a persons eyes , not saying this is the way or the only way but your eyes can give away your feelings

[Ian@1904]

Stooped posture, a wavering voice, no sign of a smile would be signs of weakness. Som epeopl etune into these signs in a bad way.

So walk tall, smile, and sound positive.

Do a lot of talking with someone preapared to listen, a problem shared is a problem put into perspective

[gerbil]

70% of communication is non verbal, and also non concious. We can all read it we may not however be aware of it. Some people can read the vunerabilty better than others becuase they pschologically are tuned in to it to gain an advantage. Some people can read the vunerabilty better than others becuase they pschologically are tuned in to it to becuase they want to help.

Its possible to empaphise with someone on an emotional level. You then have a choice help or take advantage. Being able to empaphise doesnt make you a nice person, what you do with the ability is what makes you a nice person.

We can all spot the victim in a group we just cant say why.

Something i was once told was walk like you own your own personal space and your not afraid or tired of it and you will present an air of confidence.

[purple vonny]

I think if you feel that low, it can seem like people are being rotten when they, themselves, think they are being funny. Depression does make you feel a bit paranoid and introspective.

Without specific examples of bullying it is hard to know what to say. I've been told that people aren't that interested in other people, they are more interested in themselves. Hence, we say and do things without thinking and most people would be mortified to be peceived as a "bully".

Most of us are wrapped up in our own little world with our own worries and concerns and what can seem hurtful or unfeeling can often be quite innocent. Best to face the perpetrator and tell them you were upset by what they said. And then see how they react.

Not much help I suppose but the "put 2 fingers up" approach would seem like a good idea.

[Scu-bamboo]

Stand your ground, repeat your views and opinion sooner or later the majority (bully) will realise and 'fold' under your consistancy. (That's A/S Psychologhy that is )
hope everything is okay, Nat xx

[Mike Phillipson]

Stick 1 finger up at them.. it's easier, and more effective..

Concentrate on the positve aspects of life.. and you will feel positive, dwell on the negative and it often spirals..

Mike