You're not on the list- you're not coming in.

[Marky Mark]

Tell everyone you did it for charity and they owe you a quid.

MyM

[frosty the snowman]

Originally Posted by Woz

In a similar vein it was teh day before an exhibition I was manning a stand at and I was playing with my (then 18 month old) daughter. I got one of those toys you sucker to a table, licked the sucker and whacked it onto my forehead causing giggles of delight from Mini Woz. I then tugged and tugged and tugged and finally with a big entertaining "pop" it came off my forehead.

Unfortunately it left a perfectly circular 2" bruise slap bang in the middle of my forehead. Did I look a cnut? Oh yes.

Ha ha! The very same thing happened to me. Fortunately I had to wear a hat at work but unfortunately the bruise protruded below the edge of the hat. I tried telling evryone I had become a hindu but to no avail.

[Steve S]

Originally Posted by frosty the snowman

Fear not Woz, this is just the firt step. I now cut my own hair and don't use the spacer. This has the advantages that:

1.It's cheap
2.It's convenient
3.I don't need shampoo
4. My hood and neckseal slip on as easily as a seal giving birth.
5.I have the opportunity, whilst I have the clippers in hand, to go for the 'last turkey in the butchers window' look to give the Mrs a bit of a surprise.

If it wasn't for your irrational hatred of Marmite we could be Brothers.......obviously not the close kind of course, rather the no contact but Christmas and Birthday card type

I like symmetary so shave the goatee, head and eyebrows with the blade.

Safe diving,
Steve

P.S. Woz IIRC you're so fcuking ugly a convict cut could only improve your visage

[Richard Mason]

Originally Posted by Woz

The advantages of having Missus Woz cut your hair in the kitchen with clippers:

1. it's cheap
2. it's convenient
3. I can grope the hair dresser without being arrested

and the disadvantages
1. having her shave 1/2 your head then realise it's no.1 and not a no.3

I look like a bloody bouncer and my head's really cold when I go outside.

Do you like cigars?

You could always audition for a movie about Winston Churchill.

[ratcliffe]

The last time I had my hair cut, I got a number 2 instead of a 3 (or was it a 3 instead of a 4) because my hairdresser put the wrong attachment on.

Whoops, I've had a cold bonce over the last few weeks, but its all back to normal now

[Diving Dude]

Originally Posted by Woz

and the disadvantages
1. having her shave 1/2 your head then realise it's no.1 and not a no.3

This made me laugh, because the last time the 'High Dudess' cut my hair a similar thing happened, she cut one strip and realized that it was a No 1.

[Ding Dang Doo]

Last time I paid to go to a hairdresser, I sat in the seat, expecting the usual

'what can I do for you today, Sir?' type thing...

all I got was

" Let's not fcuk about here shall we Sir - Number 3 all over?!"

I was very quiet through the 'job'.

He never got tipped.

I've never been back.

Bought my own set of clippers.


Pete

[PW1664]

Originally Posted by Woz

In a similar vein it was teh day before an exhibition I was manning a stand at and I was playing with my (then 18 month old) daughter. I got one of those toys you sucker to a table, licked the sucker and whacked it onto my forehead causing giggles of delight from Mini Woz. I then tugged and tugged and tugged and finally with a big entertaining "pop" it came off my forehead.

Unfortunately it left a perfectly circular 2" bruise slap bang in the middle of my forehead. Did I look a cnut? Oh yes.

At Your's was self induced and all I wanted was a Nikey tick not an Adidas 3 stripper....

Oh, and the Job was Ops Director for a new Company... I never did ask what anyone thought..

[IanD]

A bad hair cut! You where lucky!
When I was a lad we used to go for a haircut and get sexually abused and not in a good way. Used to go to a little local barbers on my estate, as you where having your haircut the barber would "accidentally" rub his crotch against your shoulder. Like all these things it wasn't until I was talking to a mate in a pub years later and he said that the same thing used to happen to him there, that I realised what had been going on. But it wasn't all bad as there was always a big pile of porn on the table to keep you entertained while you where waiting to be felt up.

[Woz]

Originally Posted by IanD

A bad hair cut! You where lucky!
When I was a lad we used to go for a haircut and get sexually abused and not in a good way. Used to go to a little local barbers on my estate, as you where having your haircut the barber would "accidentally" rub his crotch against your shoulder. Like all these things it wasn't until I was talking to a mate in a pub years later and he said that the same thing used to happen to him there, that I realised what had been going on. But it wasn't all bad as there was always a big pile of porn on the table to keep you entertained while you where waiting to be felt up.

The barber's name wasn't Digger by any chance?