No Speako Di Lingo......

[Phil Ennis]

I think its a tall tale Peter, as with this one,

F elonious
U nlawful
C arnal
K nowledge

Similar story,

[Stephen H]

Just out of curiosity, is there anyone here who can go diving without cursing? I know I can't.

Anyway, it's a wonderful relief after a week of moderating my language in the office to pick up a piece of gear only to find its not working and be able to say 'Ah! for FUCKS sake!'

And another thing, I don't believe Brian Sewell can swear. With his 'bools in mooth' diction surely the above would come out 'Oh! for fox soak!' which isn't cursing at all ;-)

[Mr T.]

Hate to rain on everyone's parade, but the etymology of the word 'FUCK', whilst originally thought to be from the Norse or Anglo-Saxon vernacular, actually comes from the lower Netherlands/Dutch from their 15th Century maritime converse.

Thank FUCK for that!!! Otherwise we'd be with out the root of 'FFS', when conversing on here!!!

[Phil Ennis]

Bren,
Do all these facts reside in your head, or do you rush off and find the answers for us?
Very impressive if it is the former.
See you on Sunday, looks like there could be a few of us.

[Mr T.]

Alas, Phil,

I'm plagued with a photographic memory.

[Mr T.]

Ever wonder why it takes so long to learn English?  The following has a obvious American tinge, but read on!

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes; but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes.  One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese.  You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice; yet, the plural of house is houses, not hice.

If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?  If I spoke of my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?  If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth, why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?

Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose.  We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren.  Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.

Some reasons to be grateful if you grew up speaking English:

1.  The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8. At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.  
9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.  (The correct conjugation is 'dived', there being no such past-participle in the English language as 'dove' in relation to diving).
10. I did not object to the object.
11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13. They were too close to the door to close it.
14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18. After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
22. I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

Screwy pronunciations can mess up your mind!  For example...  If you have a rough cough, climbing can be tough when going through the bough on a tree!

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.  There is neither egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England.

We take English for granted.  But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea - nor is it a pig.  Moreover, why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?  Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?  

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?  If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?  If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?  Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?  Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.  If Dad is Pop, how come Mom isn't Mop?

[Scuba1]

<font color='#000080'>Bren please stop it You are confusing me ...... I think I have to sign up to a german forum because I`ll never get tha hag of this.
At least the &nbsp;work..... Now where is that bottle and the fags.

Michael

[Andy the Coastie]

<font color='#0000FF'>Bren ,

Now tell me mate ....

Why is a BRA plural and panties singlar ? &nbsp;

always got me that one ... &nbsp;


Andy

[Mary]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Bren Tierney @ Oct. 11 2003,17:26)]English muffins weren't invented in England.

<font color='#000F22'>say's who, and does peter K have an opinion on this? &nbsp;

[Mark Chase]

No wonder I cant blody spell

Mark Chase