Working in 'Customer Service' - a rant!

[Moray]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (aclivity @ Dec. 16 2003,16:45)].... had trapped insects (cockroaches) in matchboxes....

You mean a Polish tamagotchi?

moray

[Seadart Mark]

My own personal experience of customer service is recorded here: (far too much to post here)

Customer Service at its finest

My tip is to never give in. Don't let the ba#@ards grind you down.

Mark

[Dominic]

When I worked for Safeways complaints dept, we got somebody who'd bought peaches that were mouldy.
So she posted them to us. By the time they went through Royal Mail, internal mail, etc, we received this brown envelope that was actually dripping...
Nasty.

[Dominic]

P.S. When it comes to customer relations, I always find this one highyl entertaining

[Kate R]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Seadart Mark @ Dec. 17 2003,00:17)]My own personal experience of customer service is recorded here: (far too much to post here)

Customer Service at its finest

My tip is to never give in. Don't let the ba#@ards grind you down.

Mark

i assume the phones up U in the story is actually phones 4U?

i come to this conclusion without too much difficulty, as i had exactly the same experience with them, with them solemnly assuring me that my phone would be with me on monday... over a period of eight weeks.

and they didn't even deliver satisfactorily in the end. and they had the nerve, when i cancelled my contract with a sigh of relief after the year was up, to ask the reason why, and sound surprised when i told them?

tits, the lot of them!

[Dominic]

Reminds me of a Dilbert story.. one of the many that get emailed to the author:

Somebody wrote a resignation letter to her boss. Who promptly red-penned it and sent it back to her for corrections. They thoughtfully included a copy of another recent resignation letter as an example of "what they liked to see".

Both letters cited "clueless managers" as a big cause for their departure. One of the red-penned comments challenged her to cite examples.

[Dr Stevil]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]i hate working in customer service, i hate it i hate it i hate it!

Tell me about it! The Public are a Royal PITA, you wanna try working in a record shop at Xmas (for eight years...     )
"I need this CD by tomorrow"
"Impossible, it was deleted five years ago"
"So where will I get it...?"
"FFS!!"

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]
dealing with the most stupid bunch of people on the planet (RSPB members) drives me mad sometimes.

Oi! watch it you  
Actually if you're a biologist who's managed to stay in biology, you're doing better than 99.9% of the zoology graduates I know, and there's a fair few that's jump at a chance to work for someone like the RSPB

Chee-az
Stevil (extremely p***ed off zoologist/marine biologist stuck in biomedical sciences research    )

[Seadart Mark]

Kate.

Yes it was Phones 4U.

In fact about 3 weeks after I collected my new phone I got a call from the shop to tell me my old phone was back from repair and ready for collection. Didn't have the heart to tell them they had already replaced it with a new one, so I ended up with two phones.    

Mark

[Rob Evans]

This is an actual letter of complaint to NTL from a mate of mine, hehehe had me rolling.....

Dear Cretins,

I have been an NTL customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 3-in-one deal for cable TV, cable modem, and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.

Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking B&H and drinking vendor-coffee on the bog in your office:

My initial installation was cancelled without warning or notice, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat Årse waiting for your technician to arrive.

When he did not arrive at all, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Scottish robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... how?

I alleviated the boredom to some small degree by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no doubt both familiar and highly adept.

The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum.

Two weeks later, my cable modem had still not arrived. After several further telephone calls (actually 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks) my modem arrived . a total of six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it.

I estimate that the downtime of your internet servers is roughly 35%...these are usually the hours between about 6pm and midnight, Monday to Friday, and most of the useful periods over the weekend.

I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 telephone calls on my mobile to your no-help line this week, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled bôllöck jugglers.

I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that no telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a
telephone line is available (and then been redirected to the irritating Scottish robot woman)...and several other variations on this theme.

Doubtless you are no longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle-moments to attend to. Frankly I don't care, it's far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.....

I thought BT were sh!t, that they had attained the holy p!ss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no-one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That's why I chose NTL, and because, well, there isn't anyone else is there?

How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastærds you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order. British Telecom - wÄnkers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy.

Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you do likewise, and cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - although these feelings will quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps a small measure of bemused rage.

I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become dessicated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture. Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards NTL, and it's worthless employees.

Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twÄts.



Actually, given the eloquence and wordworthiness of the whole thing.... That wasn't you Bren was it?

[aclivity]

<font color='#810541'>I don't understand how NTL is still going, I do not know anyone who has a good word for them (lots of expressive words, though).

I moved into my current home in December 2002. &nbsp;When I arrived, there was an NTL TV box left behind by the previous owner, and the phone line had a dial tone but the outgoing calls facility had been suspended - it still allowed incoming calls as for a few weeks we had lots of calls that ended up as &quot;no she doesn't live here anymore, no I don't know where she has moved to, no I don't have a number&quot;.

As the phone was still working, I decided to attach the NTL decoder to the TV and was able to watch some of the channels - the ones that come with the basic package only.

Anyway, I wanted to have 2 phone lines and cable TV, so I called up NTL and asked them to set me up as a customer.

They wanted to charge me something like £60 for a connection fee. &nbsp;I asked what they were going to connect. &nbsp;The customer sales person said that they had to send out an engineer to run a cable to my house and connect it all up for me.

Ah ha, says I, but I already have said bit of wire. &nbsp;If it wasn't there, no TV signals would get through the little black box. &nbsp;So there must be a discount for me?

No discount, says Customer Sales Person.

I asked to speak to a manager, and I am sure I was put through to CSP1's mate, as CSP2 was equally as useless as CSP1.

This second person then tried to explain that the engineer would have to make some connections at the box in the street. &nbsp;

But I am already connected, says I.

It went on for a little while longer, and in the end I gave up trying. &nbsp;Chalk one up for BT (who had a guy round to put a new bit of wire in within 3 days) and Sky TV (ditto for the wok installer). &nbsp;

I had free NTL cable telly for a couple of months, and I still have their decoder box, which they are welcome to come back and collect. &nbsp;There will be a collection charge though. &nbsp;And each day it's not collected incurs a storage charge. &nbsp;And to make my day, I'm going to ask for an assembly charge, to cover my costs in building the decoder.

Andy