Aargh... other people's religions!!!!!!

[frosty the snowman]

About 15 minutes ago I had a couple of mor(m)ons come knocking at the door. As we live in a cul-de-sac I was able to see them coming and had enough time to prepare...

When I opened the door in my bath robe with a towel round my neck I was asked how I was today and told the sinisterly black suited charlatan that I was glad to have visitors as I needed to talk to someone. This was clearly very different to the usual response they recieve and the two numpties nearly fell over themselves to get through the door.

'So may we take five minutes of your time to talk to you about God?' enquired the 'elder' (I'd say no older than 20) in an american drawl.

'Of course' I replied with painful courtesy, 'But first I'd like to know if you think this looks good?'

With a dramatic shrug I slipped off the bathrobe to reveal my corpulent physique, adorned with a set of Queen Scallops most risque lacy pink underwear.

Considering they had been sent by God to talk to me, both lads were seemingly lost for words. I stared wide eyed at the elder and placed one hand coquettishly on my hip.

'WELL?' I enquired impatiently. 'Is it too tarty?'

'Thankyou for your time sir' muttered the considerably less vocal missionary as he stumbled out of the door, nearly tripping over his already fleeing companion.

And you know something? I feel bad about the whole episode. If only I'd had time to slap on a bit of lipstick and a pair of stockings it would have been MUCH funnier.

[BigG]

have some green

[Steve Summers]

About 15 minutes ago I had a couple of mor(m)ons come knocking at the door. As we live in a cul-de-sac I was able to see them coming and had enough time to prepare...

When I opened the door in my bath robe with a towel round my neck I was asked how I was today and told the sinisterly black suited charlatan that I was glad to have visitors as I needed to talk to someone. This was clearly very different to the usual response they recieve and the two numpties nearly fell over themselves to get through the door.

'So may we take five minutes of your time to talk to you about God?' enquired the 'elder' (I'd say no older than 20) in an american drawl.

'Of course' I replied with painful courtesy, 'But first I'd like to know if you think this looks good?'

With a dramatic shrug I slipped off the bathrobe to reveal my corpulent physique, adorned with a set of Queen Scallops most risque lacy pink underwear.

Considering they had been sent by God to talk to me, both lads were seemingly lost for words. I stared wide eyed at the elder and placed one hand coquettishly on my hip.

'WELL?' I enquired impatiently. 'Is it too tarty?'

'Thankyou for your time sir' muttered the considerably less vocal missionary as he stumbled out of the door, nearly tripping over his already fleeing companion.

And you know something? I feel bad about the whole episode. If only I'd had time to slap on a bit of lipstick and a pair of stockings it would have been MUCH funnier.

I don't know about God but I'm a little turned on

Safe diving,
Steve

[frosty the snowman]

I don't know about God but I'm a little turned on

Safe diving,
Steve

Me too. I'd better take it off before she gets home.

[scuba g]

Me too. I'd better take it off before she gets home.

How far away where they when you seen them and got the saucy gear on?, you much have known what to wear already, has one been doing this to all callers!

My misses is a size 12, and I doubt Id get into her knickers easily (in man convertion Id be in the larger lady department), infact its usually after we go shopping and I pay thats my best chance

[frosty the snowman]

How far away where they when you seen them and got the saucy gear on?, you much have known what to wear already, has one been doing this to all callers!

My misses is a size 12, and I doubt Id get into her knickers easily (in man convertion Id be in the larger lady department), infact its usually after we go shopping and I pay thats my best chance

They were working their way round the cul-de-sac so I had a good 5 minutes.

I shan't go into the exact details of my beloveds smalls but lets just say she looks better in them than I do.

[scuba g]

They were working their way round the cul-de-sac so I had a good 5 minutes.

I shan't go into the exact details of my beloveds smalls but lets just say she looks better in them than I do.

Steves comment might beg to differ!

[Frog]

About 15 minutes ago I had a couple of mor(m)ons come knocking at the door. As we live in a cul-de-sac I was able to see them coming and had enough time to prepare...

When I opened the door in my bath robe with a towel round my neck I was asked how I was today and told the sinisterly black suited charlatan that I was glad to have visitors as I needed to talk to someone. This was clearly very different to the usual response they recieve and the two numpties nearly fell over themselves to get through the door.

'So may we take five minutes of your time to talk to you about God?' enquired the 'elder' (I'd say no older than 20) in an american drawl.

'Of course' I replied with painful courtesy, 'But first I'd like to know if you think this looks good?'

With a dramatic shrug I slipped off the bathrobe to reveal my corpulent physique, adorned with a set of Queen Scallops most risque lacy pink underwear.

Considering they had been sent by God to talk to me, both lads were seemingly lost for words. I stared wide eyed at the elder and placed one hand coquettishly on my hip.

'WELL?' I enquired impatiently. 'Is it too tarty?'

'Thankyou for your time sir' muttered the considerably less vocal missionary as he stumbled out of the door, nearly tripping over his already fleeing companion.

And you know something? I feel bad about the whole episode. If only I'd had time to slap on a bit of lipstick and a pair of stockings it would have been MUCH funnier.

Thanks for that Frosty. Life's a bit sh!te to me at the mo, and that comment had me giggling like a school kid. I tried to give you a green but I have to spread it around a bit first.

[Queen Scallop]

Me too. I'd better take it off before she gets home.

Unfortunately for me, Frosty was a bit too late in taking them off - the damage is done! My undies now have a big bulge in the front. I'll have to tumble dry them to see if it will shrink them back into shape.

[Steve Summers]

Unfortunately for me, Frosty was a bit too late in taking them off - the damage is done! My undies now have a big bulge in the front. I'll have to tumble dry them to see if it will shrink them back into shape.

Shirley you mean a tiny bulge in the front?

Safe diving,
Steve

P.S. rather than tumble drying I recommend fire and lots of it