Letters to the Editor

[Mr T.]

July 17th, 2004

SIR - I'm glad that the Ministry of Defence is looking after its staff by buying ergonomic chairs, at a cost of around £300 each (letter, July 14), to prevent employees damaging their backs.

Does it realise that, by providing body armour for some of its other employees, it can also prevent chest injuries?


************************************************

We couldn't possibly have the chinless wonders at the MoD in discomfort now, could we? They might sue (a privilage not extended to fighting men facing brass-in-the-grass every day)!! Meanwhile the lads in the line are taking rounds in the back coz the MoD won't issue them with plates for their personal body arrmour kit. A British battalion had to do a bayonet-charge the other day (a couple slightly injured against an enemy body-count of 30+) coz they were concerned about preserving the quantity of their issue rounds!

SNCO to Squad, mid-firefight: "Right lads, we're just about company-strength, and I count about 300 of them; you've all got 8 rounds each - do yer best...."

Teflon Tony and his cronies have now managed to survive two investigations into their wonton mismanagement of this war - upto and including promising that "in any future wars, we'll do it properly and have a War Cabinet instead of the 'couch & arm-chair' approach, which we took this time..." These twats have done their level best to reduce both the number and fighting capability of all UK armed forces (no surprise when you consider neither Sec of Defence - Geoff (buff)Hoon nor Blair have never won a uniform outside of their own marital bedroom antics) to the point now where we, as a country, couldn't launch a Falkland's-sized Task Force if we needed/wanted to. Much less equip it to go into bat. Wilfully usesless wankers.

So, with your Council Tax about to go through the roof and with Stealth Tax Brown finding new and improved ways of spending/wasting your tax ££s (although on what, no one's quite sure), at least we can be sure that the broad-arses at the MoD are sitting comfortably.

[darthmoll]

we get the goverment we deserve, its the way of a democracy, worse luck.

[DIVE BUDDHA]

£300 per chair ??? i dont think so !!! if it was me dealing out the funding those civil servants would be sat on orange boxes !!!!!!!

[chrisch]

Originally Posted by Bren Tierney

to the point now where we, as a country, couldn't launch a Falkland's-sized Task Force if we needed/wanted to.

Best not to want to then I guess?

Chris

[aclivity]

I think - I may be wrong - but I think I heard that actually the cost of the chairs was £1000 each. It was on the Today program the other morning, and my brain isn't always at full performance whilst being dulled by the daily 2 hour M25 odyssey.

But if stops the little blossoms getting backache, surely cheap at twice the price?

Andy

[aclivity]

War over MOD's '£1,000 chairs'

Fears of Government over-spending have been fuelled as a row broke out - over the cost of new chairs.

The Ministry of Defence bought 3,000 Aeron chairs, billed as the most comfortable seats in the world, as part of a £350 million refurbishment plan.

Each chair has a recommended retail price of £1,000 and although the MoD insisted it only paid a "fraction" of that sum, it refused to reveal how much it had spent.

Liberal Democrat defence spokesman Paul Keetch said he thought the refurbishment was necessary but described the purchase of the chairs as a "joke".

The row comes on the day Chancellor Gordon Brown announces his annual spending review, with the armed forces tipped to receive a £3 billion rise.

Although the MoD's "bureaucratic army" of 93,500 non-military staff will reportedly be cut by 10%, the department's £30 billion budget was said to be set for a 1.2% increase above inflation.

The defence ministry has bought 3,000 of the Aeron chairs, which are used by David Dimbleby on Question Time and have been exhibited in the New York Museum of Modern Art.

The chairs are part of a £350 million redevelopment scheme which will see the MoD come under one roof.

The MoD spokesman said the chairs were designed to last twice as long as standard office chairs and came with a 12-year guarantee.

"They will provide efficiency savings in themselves," he said. "They will help avoid common posture problems, cutting absence and sick leave."

[Mr T.]

Originally Posted by chrisch

Best not to want to then I guess?

Chris

And like we're always in a position to choose, right?

[Penfold]

The government spends more on social security than they do on defense. The social security internal budget for combating fraud is larger than the defense budget.
At least if we ever get invaded no one will be ever able to claim dole and work!!!!!!!

[HelenM]

New Element Discovered

A major research institution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium".

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium normally has a half-life of 3 - 5 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons thus forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass".

You will know it when you see it

[Mr T.]

Originally Posted by aclivity

War over MOD's '£1,000 chairs'


The MoD spokesman said the chairs were designed to last twice as long as standard office chairs and came with a 12-year guarantee.

"They will provide efficiency savings in themselves," he said. "They will help avoid common posture problems, cutting absence and sick leave."

Impressive: they come with a 12-year guarantee!

By contrast, and without the correct body-armour, how long is the body of the average Tommy in the field gonna last when the parabolic trajectory of 5.54 round from an AK-47, or a shrapnel burst from an RPG-7 or mortor round rip through him? Depending on the model, these flak-plates cost between £15 and £29 each.

Buy hey, as long as the cherubs at the MoD get to ponce around on furniture which had its own exhibit at the New York Museum of Modern Art...

And they'll also reduce sick-leave and absence?! Jolly good. See above for some of the reasons yer average squaddie might 'get sick' or be 'absent' from the line. FFS.

Even if we take the lower figure (£300 as opposed to £1,000 per chair), if the MoD were to turn round and give that figure to each squaddie and say, "take a trip down to Silvermans, mate, and fill yer boots", that figure would go a long way to helping the squaddie square himself away with high quality and much needed person kit - which ordinarily should be issue!

"Vote Labour - spending millions of your tax ££ on supporting arses..."