The Universal Life Church's policy on diving.

[Janos]

Well.

One day, when a student, I got drunk and managed to ordain myself into the Universal Life Church.

Now I don't think that the ULC has a policy on diving, so I think it my duty to set one down. Preferably in stone tablets. But I need help.

So far we have....

Thou shalt not take the micky out of DIR people
Thou shalt not steal another persons chocolate
Thou shalt not max thine credit card at the dive show
Thou shalt not give short fills
Thou shalt not post shite on internet forums
Thou shalt not covet thy buddy's dive kit
Thy shalt invert thy tanks.
Thou shalt never wash thine undersuit for you shall be smitten by evil luck for the next 3 dives.
Thou shalt log off YD occasionally to get some work done.
Thou shalt not build thine own rebreather.
Thou shalt keep thy tanks the right way up (Janos).
Thou shalt not eat healty foods while diving.
Thou shalt not dive in Stoney unless you have a very good reason for doing so.
Thou shalt ask Woz for all things dive kittey before going into my LDS
Thou shalt keep thy tanks the right way up (like Janos).
Thou shalt keep thine valves pointing towards the heavens
Thou shalt keep thine valves pointing towards the heavens when on land and for this purpose thou shalt put boots on thy cylinders, for the bootless cylinder shalt rock and roll and fall over
Thy shalt honour thy drysuit, and prevent it from becoming holey.
Thou shalt not girl out of having your arse whipped by a towel

But I think this is not enough commandments. Bigger is better and the ULC Book of Diving is no exception.

Laters,
Janos

[bottle_monkey]

How do u manage to ordain yourself? Just wondering

[aclivity]

are the universal life ones the same as those who were going to save the country through yogic flying?

[Fathoms Down]

Originally Posted by Janos

One day, when a student, I got drunk and managed to ordain myself into the Universal Life Church.

Strange, the same thing happened to me as well!

[Steve S]

Originally Posted by Janos

Thy shalt invert thy tanks.
Janos

Excellent post mate have a green but you missed a bit off it should end with and go forth and twinvert the heathen unbeliever


Safe diving,
Steve

[SoggyFox]

And little can they complain cos we're all talking to an ordained minister.

how do i go about getting ordained, could be worth a giggle.

[Janos]

Originally Posted by Bottle Monkey

How do u manage to ordain yourself? Just wondering

Through the internet of course. Although I didn't ordain myself. A monk in America did. However I can ordain you if you want although it will have to wait as I'm off for the weekend.

Originally Posted by aclivity

are the universal life ones the same as those who were going to save the country through yogic flying?

No. Cynical unbelievers would say that it was set up as a tax dodge in the States. Basically as an ordained minister I can set up a registered charity through which I accept contributions (such as my wages) and the charity pays for things such as my 'vicarage' and other essentials. But only in America. I can (or at least used to be able to) perform marriage ceremonies in the States too.

I think the only tenant of the ULC is "Do what you think is right".

But I'm getting all religious here and don't mean to preach The ULC needs to have a policy - I mean discover some sacred scrolls - on diving.

Laters,
Janos

[Janos]

Originally Posted by SoggyFox

how do i go about getting ordained, could be worth a giggle.

Ok. I'm in a rush though. Promise to do what you think is right, and then arise, Rev. SoggyFox [handywavy gesturey thing]

Laters,
Janos

[vulcan]

Originally Posted by Janos

Thou shalt not post shite on internet forums

If this commandment were followed we'd have nothing to read and giggle at

[Conor]

Slow down on the ordaining, if you get to big you'll be declared a cult and have the FBI raiding your shed with tanks