funny sayings

[endoman]

You need to get some of this

[Can't beat 'em, join 'em]

I always heard it as "You cant get a shine on Sh!t"

And for a variation on chocolate fireguard - "About as much use as a condom machine in the vatican."

[Steve Jones]

Originally Posted by Gaz B

what other funny sayings do YDers have

How about when you got a fcuking good slap when you were a kid, and your mother/father said.

"Do you want another one?"

What reply were they actually expecting?

[Jay]

Northern Irish ones:

"She was so ugly, even the sea wouldn't take her out"
"What would you expect from a pig but a grunt"

[Air Guzzler]

As much use as an ashtray on your bike.

You can always tell a Yorkshire Man...........But you cant tell him MUCH

As much use as a Wooden TIT.

Its that Fine rain that soaks you right through.

[Paulus]

If something is just the job:

It fits like a glove on a chikens lip.


Paul

[Mick F]

Seeing it's Christmas....

"Would you kiss me under the mistletoe?"

"I wouldn't kiss ya under an anaesthetic!"

[swissdave]

Couldn't get a f..k in a brothel with £20 tied to his dick
and a parents favorite " if you break your legs don't come running to me"

[Paulus]

An old boy from yorkshire used to describe something that wasn't pleasant as:

like shi**ing in t' bed awekun.

That last word has to be said in a broad yorkie dialect and translates
as "whilst awake".