Boobs, Dildos and condoms on the Stormdrift

[Dr T]

Warning: This is a long one !! and yes those three things all made an appearance last week on the Stormdrift when our South Wales posse arrived !! Photos to follow in the galleries at some point soon

Fri am
Well it started off at 07:30 with the rain absolutely chucking it down. Not much to say about this section of the trip, apart from it is long and boring, but if you time it well and miss the traffic it is not too bad (on the way up)

We (me and dave) managed to get as far as Penrith before the food fight started and Dave poured his second cup of coffee all over himself.
We stopped of at some countryside pitstop for a bite to eat and more coffee as Dave hadn’t really managed to drink much at this point !!, with me in my flip flops and shorts and Dave in his dodgey stained trousers, to be confronted by lots and lots of properly dressed walkers/hikers frowning and looking down on us….who gives….

Anyway, more driving and more driving (via Loch Ness which was foggy and now more full of water since Dave emptied himself of coffee into it !!) ) and finally a sign that said the distance to Thurso was only 97 miles. At this point you think to yourself, hurrah not far now, but over an hour and a half later it seems like a long frigging way !!
Stopped for the night in the Station Hotel in Thurso, whilst the rest of the gang set off about 6pm to drive up through the night. A crappy Chinese but much fun sending pics of beer/food and duvets to the others still driving !!

Sat
Arrived at Scrabster for the early morning ferry to find ‘Bendy’ Kev nicely asleep in the truck….that didn’t last long. Flat calm ferry crossing and views like something out of Jurassic Park, foggy and mysterious.
Arrived and checked in to the Ferry inn, got the kit sorted out on the boat and then set off for a tour of the island on Saturday afternoon, taking in the Italian church, Aquarium and barriers etc…
Few beers in the Ferry Inn, but then headed over to the Flattie Bar which (thanks to the pool table) became our home for MOST of the week…more on that later !!

Sun – Dresden 35m – 65mins, V83 19m – 62mins
Up early for a 9am departure to find the weather overcast but more importantly not a breath of wind…..flat calm
These was easily one of the best dives of the week, and of the year. The viz was easily 20m+ and the sea was flat calm. There were loads of swim throughs, holes to poke about in and a nice 30m+ penetration in pitch black and very silty conditions. The guns were awe-inspiring and there was loads and loads of sealife.
V83 was a bit mundane, but had the biggest scallops I have ever seen, a few squat lobsters and a nice fat conga.

Mon – Kronprinz Wilhelm 37m – 69mins, F2 16m – 74mins
Flat calm and good viz. Hard to grasp the cheer size of the battleship. Nice swims into the gun turrets and round the backs. Loads of fish life and anemones made for a memorable dive
Caught a nice lobbie, that very nearly escaped, but had 30 stone of divers land on him.

The afternoon had use diving the F2 and Barge. These were nice to swim around and have a look inside, but after about 45mins me and Dave swam off following the current for a poke about the seabed. Drifting for about 15mins we suddenly came across ANOTHER wreck !! Thinking it must be the F2 and we have done a circle, but it wasn’t. It was a small fishing cruiser and it was sitting upright and in fantastic viz. Still with sink & taps, toilet etc. this was a real find.and we wanted to spend ages and ages poking around, but reached the max dive time, so had to leave it. We later found out it was a known Burrough sound wreck and we had done all three which is very unusual in one dive.
Both of these were dives you just didn’t want to end and if Hazel hadn’t said 75mins max, we would have easily been there 2hrs plus….

Back to shore and a quick trip to the shops had us a disposable Barbie. Fresh lobster and scallops on the pier with a case of Strongbow, in the evening sunshine, what could be better……

Tuesday – Margraf 46m – 71mins, Karlsruhe 26m – 76mins
There was a lot of build up to the Margraf following the report from two weeks prior from Garf and co… Long long drop down to the bottom. Very dark and gloomy and quite some atmosphere. We dropped down to the bottom and unfortunately turned left as you look at the wreck, heading towards the bow. There were some nice places to poke about in, but it was dark, very dark once inside. We made it to the bow which was very very impressive and started a gradual ascent along the hull. Not much of interest on the hull so we started counting the brittle starfish…..1,2,3……500million and 1, 500 million and 2 etc. etc..
After a nice long surface interval we dropped back in for this light cruiser. You could see the wreck from 6m !! Fantastic swim throughs and we did two 30+ penetrations with reels/silt etc…
Found a nice toilet on the seabed which resulted in 10minutes of comical poses and general larking about, all caught on camera..
Surfacing to totally flat calm waters made for another very very memorable dive.

Nice late tomorrow start due to the tides (11.30) so everyone headed out to the Flattie Bar. Everything started off quietly with pool and good tunes on the jukebox, but then strange drinking games came out (magic pennies etc.) and ice started to end up in strange places. I would say Helen (Porg) was one of the main culprits, but only because she is miles away now !! Anyway things got steadily worse and we ended up being thrown out of the Flattie Bar….You can ask Helen where she and Bendy ended up that night …….
Our pocket power ranger Deano was completely wrecked and unfortunately found a permanent pen which he used to draw all over JK, who had completely passed out at this stage…..

Wed – Brummer 35m – 78mins, Coln 33m – 71mins
Flat calm and sunny.
Viz on both of these dives was easily 20 to 25m+, The gun turrets were incredible and we got some great snaps. Again some very nice long swim-throughs, starfish everywhere and lots of fish.
We could see the Coln from the surface before we got in, so you new this one was gonna be good !!
Nice portholes/hatches to swim through and good penetrations dives through the corridors.
These were probably the best two all-round wreck dives I have ever done…..awesome

Thursday – Rohdean 17m – 64mins, James Barrie 41m – 65mins
Funnily enough, things were a bit quiet this morning. Especially when we found out that JK had gone into Kirwall with his comedy permanent moustache, BY BUS, and into Boots to find acetone that would remove it !!

Not much left of the Rohdean and it is quite broken up and flattened. Had to be a shallow dive as later we were on the James Barrie and the rest of the gang were on OC. Generally pottering around and abusing Helen who also came along on this dive. I doubt she well be diving with me and dave again !!

Viz was superb as we dropped onto the James Barrie. You could make out the entire ship from about 23m. Lovely wreck to poke about, and you can get right into the engine room, but beware of the oil in the wheel house, you can see it all pooled up and you don’t want that all over your suit !! Great viz, thanks to the gravel seabed and not to bad a current for the deco stops.

Fri – Strathgarry 58m – 62mins
The rest of the gang all set off on the early morning ferries leaving only me and Dave on the boat. Been up early for a 7am start to the GlenStrath Garry due to the tides, but the boat wouldn’t start…an omen ????
Hazel soon fixed it an we were off, in glorious sunshine and duck pond like water. As we were about to jump Hazel shouted “there is still a bit of a current running do you still want to jump ??”. Of course the answer was a big thumbs up.
Hoped in to find the shot line disappearing quickly….I am swimming hard but going nowhere, that’s strange !!!
Dave finally made it to the line at about 10m and I grabbed his fin, then his reel, then climbed over him to the shot line.
58m is a hell of a long way when you are going hand over hand horizontally down the line in a very strong current and it took 14mins….On reflection we should have binned the dive ages ago, but hey ho..
Anyway made it to the bottom breathing harder than I have ever done before to find….nothing…not surprisingly we had pulled the shot free (or Hazel had missed the wreck ). Lots of squat lobbies and a ripping current. Launched the shot anchor back up and we had already used up our planned 20mins bottom time, so we set off back up.
Added lots and lots of extra deco to make up for the effort getting down, and in the last 5 mins of the dive we were buzzed by a lovely grey seal who was wondering what the hell we were up to !!
Back to shore, de-kit the boat, stuff everything randomly back into the car and we pottered off around the island for a final tour before the ferry.
It wasn’t long before the quote of the week arrived on my phone from Helen or Hazel…I didn’t ask which !!

‘If you put 25kg of lime in one bin again I will staple your Bol***ks to your forehead’

Caught the 16:45 ferry home and finally set off for wales at about 18:30.
Came very very close to running our of petrol as sailed through Inverness saying, we’ll fill up at Perth. Got to Perth to find no obvious petrol stations. Then there was nothing on the desolate parts of the A9 and the car was saying 25miles left, 20 miles left, 15 miles left at which point we were doing 40 miles and hour and coasting down any hills we could find. We rolled into Aviemore to find a beer festival in full swing, but more importantly the nicest looking Esso I have ever seen !! Never ever have I got £59 of diesel in the car !!

Sat
More pro plus and red bull and finally arrived back home at 04:30. In bed by 04:35. Up 4 hours later thanks to the frigging cat to start the unenviouable job of unpacking the car and sorting the kit out….

All in all an awesome week. Fantastic weather. 11 great dives all over a hour, Good Viz, Superb boat and crew.

Thanks H&H, see you next year ???

The end

ash

[daveb0000]

well not much left to add to that apart from a big thanks to Hazel and Helen on MV Stormdrift for the best weeks diving i have ever had. condition were outstanding all week with some fantastic viz.
last year we had rough seas and high winds this time it was perfect.

good report ash you have saved me a job have some green.

[Lou]

No wonder you nearly ran out of petrol if you went all the way from Inverness, to Perth and back up to Aviemore again!

[neilh]

Nice report, great to see you enjoyed yourselves up there with Hazel & Helen!

Originally Posted by Dr T

Viz on both of these dives was easily 20 to 25m+, ...
We could see the Coln from the surface before we got in, so you new this one was gonna be good !!

Gah, wish it had been that good for us! Still, it wasn't too bad for us so I'll just have to get back up there again and see if I can get better vis

[Simon TW]

great report Ash but what about the boobs, dildos and the condoms?

[Dr T]

Originally Posted by Simon TW

great report Ash but what about the boobs, dildos and the condoms?

I couldn't possibly comment !! but suffice to say they all appeared during the week !!

ash

[Steve Jones]

Originally Posted by Dr T

I couldn't possibly comment !! but suffice to say they all appeared during the week !!
ash

I feel cheated Ash, I read through the whole report, re read it in case I missed the juicy bits and.............nothing

As it was a Welsh trip shouldn't sheep have made an appearance

Steve

[Hazel W]

OI ...did not miss with the shot ....and i did warn you about the tide !!!!!

lol...good effort tho guys and if its any consoation the next boat to do the strathgarry missed it with all 12 divers !

the boobs were a talking point for the saturday in the pub anyway

lovley to have you aboard again !

(it was helen who sent the text )


Hazel

[Justin Owen]

Originally Posted by Dr T

‘If you put 25kg of lime in one bin again I will staple your Bol***ks to your forehead’

Was just about to say.... Sounds like Porg to me!

[Dr T]

Originally Posted by Justin Owen

Was just about to say.... Sounds like Porg to me!

Porg......quit your complaining, it was only about 14kgs anyway !! And it was all Dave !!

ash