14th October “This IS plan B. Plan A was to be in the pub”.

[Freeflow]

Off to Stoney on a Saturday? Yes if it’s the weekend of the dive show. I had arranged to meet Frankie Price and INSERT NAME HERE who is also known as Keith for a frolic. Frankie was helping out on a course so would only pop in for one dive, and Keith wanted to try out his new Dolphin configuration. On the drive up I was able to see how much the front lights were robbed of power when the front demister was used-somewhat disconcerting to see the power drop quite that much. Stoney was ‘Busy weekday busy’ in that the car park didn’t fill up until later in the day, which was good for Keith as he thought that the opening times were the same as they are mid week. This meant that I had to wander around the car park looking for my blind date in a K reg van. At ten to eight I had given up and asked the threesome two cars down if I could join them for a foursome when up popped Keith.

After chucking Keith my Oxygauge for a trial he said that he would have to get a nitrox fill. Err, this is the weekend, they don’t do them! I had brought a spare tank of 40% up with me though in case he wanted to have a play on my rig, so we could use that for dive two if needed. After discussing a detailed dive plan [‘if your ears are OK we’ll wander off to 20m, OK?’] we kitted up and dropped in at the step.

The first step was to drop to 4m and have a slow descent to check out Keith’s ears. I was trying out a second hand Custom Divers torch that weighed more than the weightbelt I was wearing, and I was still in the reserve drysuit with a cuff dump as I have not stretched my new neck seal sufficiently yet. Keith gave sufficient OK’s so we made our way down the road to 20m, with Keith making notes of his pO2 and depth for the vO2 calculations. At 20m, Keith was still happy, so I asked if he fancied 25m, but his gas supply was getting below his comfort levels so we came back up the road and wall to 6m. As the suit I was diving was the same one that had given me dumping troubles before I motioned to Keith that the valve was problematical using the trusty British ‘almost an OK signal’, with exaggerated elbow movement. Three minute stop completed we surfaced and did a weight check. Keith was able to dump 3kg, and I was able to dump both the weightbelt [4kg] and the torch [probably more!]. With over 200 bar left in the tanks it wasn’t much of a check, and I was wearing the summer gear of a set of thermals, a Weezle Compact and a membrane. In really cold [5 deg or colder] or when trimix diving I will be in a Weezle extreme with thermals and some Xerotherm stuff. To be honest though, the Xerotherms I have [£140 quid] on their own are only about as good as two sets of Damart thermals [£30]. As I can usually feel the zip on a long deco I add a thicker layer on my torso, either the Xerotherms or a sweatshirt, so more weight is needed then.

The surface interval was spent getting intimate with a hot chocolate and soss sarnie, and leering at the young ladies clad in semi’s. I’m wondering ho long it will take for Stoney to decide I need a restraining order-or bromide in my drinks. After some meticulous dive planning of ‘fancy the helicopter, Stanegarth and coach?’ I left Keith to change his jet over to the 50% one to use with the 40% tank I had lent him. A bit of jiggery-pokery was needed to fit the 5L onto his rig, and the knob was repositioned so that he was able to reach it easily. I ditched the weighs, but kept the torch for dive two.

At the ramp Keith had the cable ties fail on his 5L bailout clamp, so he dropped it off and popped up to his car for some more. The previously mentioned young ladies had all gone out of my sight so I had to make do with a laugh when one diver exclaimed loudly that she was a Madam. I did ask what the going rate was in a moment of channelling the spirit of Todd from Scrubs. I also put a bid in on the kit of an injured diver who was dragged from the water, but they were only doing rescue drills, so that was off. The arrival back of Keith stopped my flirting, and I gave him a hand to reattach his rogue tank.

That done we dropped in, and after Keith caught his breath we dropped to the 6m ledge and made our way deeper. It was unusual to see the helicopter deserted, and even more so to find no one on the Stanegarth. A diversion to the South and we swam around the Mini before returning to the Stanegarth and having a swim around it. As I was about to lead to the coach, Keith pointed along the anchor chain. I thought he was wanting to turn the dive, so we headed along it until we found four cable ties, when Keith pointed West, to go to the coach.

Once there, I led back to the Stanegarth and showed Keith the relationship between the two. That done we headed back along the chain, with a pause to show Keith the ‘D’ shackle that joins the two sections. On the way back up the cliff I played a game of ‘hand my buddy a rock and see how long they will swim around with it for’ before doing a bit of underwater litter picking. Another 3 min stop saw us nice and safe for the swim back to the step and a surface.

A dekit later and we hit the pub for some tall tales of derring do, as is compulsory on all dive trips.

DIVE DATA

Dive 1

21.3 m
25 min

SI: 2h 40 min

Dive 2

21.3 m
32 min