Max & Paddy 'do' Stoney Cove Thursday 20th Dec 07

[Madfish]

It was with fear & trepidation that I loaded the car on Wednesday – after two weeks of lovely Caribbean diving in a shortie and single cylinder, this would be the first time back in the cold water since the end of October Steve S bravely agreed to a trip to Stoney where we would practice and enhance the skills we learnt on our mix courses with Mark Powell.
Thursday @ 10 am was the agreed time and I was going to arrive early, collect my newly-serviced and repaired suit from Hydrotech, get my cylinders topped off and wait around for Steve, and wait around, and wait around and – at last, Steve arrives looking flustered & rightly so – apparently it is ‘not done’ to drive on the pavement/chevrons/pedestrians just to get to a dive site and Steve had been observed by a ‘tax-collector’ * and was going
dahn........big time!
I endeavoured to take his mind of it by cashing in on his promise (made on YD) to look at my other twinset and effect repairs. I had borrowed a couple of spindles from Hydrotech and with his valve key we were set. Well, in the same way that Waldorf & Statler would bring high-class engineering skills to the Muppet Show, we would endeavour to do the same in our own inimitable style. We were only interrupted by one of the Stoney managers who begged us to take them off site to be filled – good job Steve had his O2 clean wolley gloves with him (well they were up until he blew his nose on them. Anyway, the valves and manifold seem okay – and once we get the wonky twist corrected, they will be fine.
Steve spent a little time grooming another innocent diver and after a discussion with Mark and myself actually conceded that up side down is the same as WRONG by definition, we were in the right mood to finally enter the water.
After some more fafferey, and of course some more Northern Mockery (apparently it is a term of endearment and if you don’t reduce your buddy to tears, it means you have no respect for them). Following Steve taking the mickey out of my newly installed P-valve (another thread, I was really in the mood for our lovely dive, not least because of the anticipated water temperature, wearing all that underwear, going to the Box (first time) and wasting good gas 25/25! The plan was for Steve to lead the first part, and I would lead the second part. Buddy check and in. I had taken the precaution of adding a v-weight to the set to offset additional thermals, and wedged it up high. The weight was fine, but the affect on the trim was terrible (even by my low standards). Off we set and after 20m I took over, leading the dive, but being directed by Steve. To the box, around the box, in the box etc the viz was gin-clear and the temperature a balmy 8c. Then off to look at some other ‘attractions’ wooden boats, cars, aircraft, etc and back. These areas I assume are silty, but no-one had been there for a while and it was actually quite ‘cave like’.

We were taking it fairly easy and by the time we hit 3m, were heading for an 80m run time. But no, old Camel-bladder had exceeded his personal endurance limit, sped the dive up and leaping out of the water, promised to come back for me. Well even after I dragged myself out on my one good leg, with stage etc and struggled past the Gents, I could hear him still inside ‘powdering his nose’ (I thought management was topping up the Cove).........his first words back at the car – I must get a P-valve fitted to this suit... I can’t repeat what else he said as that would ruin his masculine image such as it is.
We then partook of some hot soup (homemade Ham & Lentil), regained the feeling in our hands and after some diary co-ordinating made off to our respective homes. To be fair it wasn’t a bad dive in the end, and certainly a good day out.

Di

PS In the meanwhile, a big thanks to the lovely lady @ Stoney Cove admin section who issued me my replacement card within an hour of me confirming I had lost the original.

* Apologies to the genuine Officers of the Law who do a good job & make lots of 'collars' - no offence was intended!

[Diving Dude]

Feckin puddle divers clogging up the forums.........


Won't find me diving a puddle

[Steve S]

Originally Posted by Diving Dude

Feckin puddle divers clogging up the forums.........


Won't find me diving a puddle

Not with your swollen knackers you won't excellent report Di although I must take exception to the agreeing on the wrong way up definition, my eyes had frozen over thus giving the impression of agreement also my bladder was ruined before I got in the water by the 4 1/2 hour 'it wasn't me guv honest' service on Lil Pete's rig in the Siberian Stoney winter

As always it was an excellent dive and the banter was top notch, even though you cry like a baby wuss

I've decided to wear full on nappies instead of the P valve though, as the thought of trying to thumb 'little steve' into a condom fills me with dread, and awakens long buried nightmares

Thanks for the wine and I can't believe you haven't posted a picture of your flange now it's all clean

Safe diving,
Steve

[weazelz]

Originally Posted by Madfish

Steve spent a little time grooming another innocent diver and after a discussion with Mark and myself actually conceded that up side down is the same as WRONG by definition, we were in the right mood to finally enter the water.

that'll be me & hebails then. nice to see you again & to meet Steve. the two of you can faff for england though

[PW1664]

Here you go Dude...

[Paul Oliver]

Originally Posted by weazelz

the two of you can faff for england though

Thats nothing, on the odd occasion we can get them away from a puddle to dive in the sea, you should see the faffing involved in getting them kitted up in anything lumpier than a fierce force 3

Edit: Well done madam, you nearly made diving in a puddle sound mildly amusing

[ardhill]

Originally Posted by Madfish

... and after a discussion with Mark and myself actually conceded that up side down is the same as WRONG by definition,

I don't quite understand this bit. Are you talking about valves back, and valves forward? Because that's the way they are when you are diving, unless you dive in a head up position

[Paul Oliver]

So from this report i take it that Steve's bladder has gone/had it, is there anything left of him that does work properly?

[Diving Dude]

OK, now l may be being fick, but where do you get the names Max and Paddy from?

[Steve S]

Originally Posted by Paul Oliver

So from this report i take it that Steve's bladder has gone/had it, is there anything left of him that does work properly?

Left eyebrow

Safe diving,
Steve
P.S. I may be on for the 2nd Jan I'll let you know asap.