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Trip Reports: Discuss 'Team urine' take the p*ss at Stoney Cove in the Trips, Spaces and Coastguard Information forums: How's about a Tolpuddle? (Nice rhyme, PV, as usual)...

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  #51 (permalink)  
Old 30-04-08, 11:24 PM
David P David P is offline
Occasionally gets wet...
 

Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: S London
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How's about a Tolpuddle?

(Nice rhyme, PV, as usual)
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  #52 (permalink)  
Old 30-04-08, 11:35 PM
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Madfish Madfish is offline
The Duchess of Norfolk
 

Join Date: May 2005
Location: London E11
Posts: 1,971
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Quote:
Originally Posted by purple vonny
Di she wore her lady flange,
Steve he wore a nappy,
They both thought they were safe to wee
but only one was happy

Di stayed dry, she'd come prepared
But Steve was not so lucky
His nappy leaked all down his leg
His undersuit was mucky

The cardinal rule of diving
Is always think ahead
don't just let go, of your bladder - no
remember what I said

Prepare your foof or gonads
and spend a bob or two
on proper stuff to seal your muff
and things to remove the glue

Don't just get some pampers
Then drink 5 cups of tea
and boldly go down diving
and have a great big wee

There we have the Apprentice winner for tonight - National Incontinence Day - no idea why they didn't think of it!!

Well done Vonny

Di
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  #53 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-08, 12:37 AM
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Steve S Steve S is online now
''Inverted uber stroke''
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Madfish
can anyone offer any suggestions on how to remove the evidence that 'a lady has stuck something unusual down below' which is how I anticipate the hospital notes to read
My advice would be to leave it in it's current position and attach a longer hose to it and just pretend your a bloke you'll love it.....the World is our toilet

Safe diving,
Steve

P.S. to add insult to injury I may be allergic to my own wee, I appear to have a touch of 'nappy rash'
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''Wow, l actually agree with the bearded blind crippled chicken shagger for once'' Diving Dud - 20/3/08
As everyone else is claiming a relationship to him, I hereby admit to being the Dud's younger, slimmer and better looking Northern Brother who was exiled at an early age due to embarrassing handsomeness.

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  #54 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-08, 07:35 AM
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purple vonny purple vonny is offline
adsum
 
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Location: Weymouth, Dorset
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve S
P.S. to add insult to injury I may be allergic to my own wee, I appear to have a touch of 'nappy rash'

That's an unpleasant thought to wake up to. Urgh.
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  #55 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-08, 08:51 AM
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Georgina Georgina is offline
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Bugger I have just started reading this and it is hilarious and I want to finish it but Simon TW is on his way to pick me up to spend another day at this villa living 'life as it should be' and I will have to finish it later or continue at his place...............................
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  #56 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-08, 09:10 AM
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Madfish Madfish is offline
The Duchess of Norfolk
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Georgina
Bugger I have just started reading this and it is hilarious and I want to finish it but Simon TW is on his way to pick me up to spend another day at this villa living 'life as it should be' and I will have to finish it later or continue at his place...............................
Your comments could be taken as unsympathetic - Steve & could well end up in the 'I learned about diving from that' thread.......... Don't forget, at least two people have been injured here and I don't get this black stuff off before tonight I am in even more trouble - it is my wedding anniversary today - and you know what THAT means !

Di
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Putting the div in diving.......
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  #57 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-08, 09:14 AM
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purple vonny purple vonny is offline
adsum
 
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purple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gills
Quote:
Originally Posted by Madfish
Your comments could be taken as unsympathetic - Steve & could well end up in the 'I learned about diving from that' thread.......... Don't forget, at least two people have been injured here and I don't get this black stuff off before tonight I am in even more trouble - it is my wedding anniversary today - and you know what THAT means !

Di
Just keep the lights off and put a bit of talc on. Get a few drinks down him too and he'll never notice.
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veni vidi scubici

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  #58 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-08, 09:14 AM
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Mal Bridgeman Mal Bridgeman is online now
A Moderate Chimp
Recent Blog: One-Nil to me
 

Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Suffolk
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Madfish
Your comments could be taken as unsympathetic - Steve & could well end up in the 'I learned about diving from that' thread.......... Don't forget, at least two people have been injured here and I don't get this black stuff off before tonight I am in even more trouble - it is my wedding anniversary today - and you know what THAT means !

Di
Certainly some scouring agent is required Di, perhaps suggest he doesn't shave today
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  #59 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-08, 09:16 AM
purple vonny's Avatar
purple vonny purple vonny is offline
adsum
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Weymouth, Dorset
Posts: 6,352
purple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gillspurple vonny was born with gills
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mal Bridgeman
Certainly some scouring agent is required Di, perhaps suggest he doesn't shave today

How very rude Mr Bridgeman
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veni vidi scubici

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  #60 (permalink)  
Old 01-05-08, 09:23 AM
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Steve S Steve S is online now
''Inverted uber stroke''
 

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Talking It's off

Quote:
Originally Posted by purple vonny
Just keep the lights off and put a bit of talc on. Get a few drinks down him too and he'll never notice.
Well it seems that advice worked but how does he get it off his head?



Safe diving,
Steve
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''Wow, l actually agree with the bearded blind crippled chicken shagger for once'' Diving Dud - 20/3/08
As everyone else is claiming a relationship to him, I hereby admit to being the Dud's younger, slimmer and better looking Northern Brother who was exiled at an early age due to embarrassing handsomeness.

DUE member and GUSAC Founder member
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