Problem about my annual bath!
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  1. #1
    Finless: You couldn't invent him... Finless's Avatar
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    Problem about my annual bath!

    I always have my annual bath in the summer (whether I need it or not).

    Ms Finless now wants me to have another bath before Christmas. I'm afraid to say no lest the refusal impact on the size of my Xmas pressie.

    Has anyone else ever had a bath in winter? Is it safe? Any advice to help me avoid the many afflictions that must surely befall the winter bather?

    Amongst other problems I can definitely forsee periscope structural failure whilst playing submarines and may well have to revert to playing the one tentacled octopus game!
    Still hoping to become Comfortably Numb but feel more Dazed & Confused.

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  3. #2
    Senior Member 722's Avatar
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    Well I would have the bath after night falls, then the neighbours won't see.

    However whatever you decide, do not use soap twice in a year. If you have already passed your Time Weighted Allowance of soap for the year - use it no more.

    HTH,

    Adrian


  4. #3
    Never bent, often twisted AirAssisted's Avatar
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    A large tin bath placed in front of the fire, will save any possiblity of being chilled in any bits not covered with water. Have your good lady fill the bath, using a kettle, yes this takes a little longer than your 'summer' bath, but the instant heat is well worth the wait. The whole experience will leave you feeling nostalgic, remenisent of war time Britain, use the oportunity to sing such greats as

    1 Kiss me good night seargent major
    2 knees up mother brown
    3 Hitler has only got one ....
    Time flies like an arrow... Fruit flies like a banana.

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    Moderator And's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finless
    Ms Finless now wants me to have another bath before Christmas. I'm afraid to say no lest the refusal impact on the size of my Xmas pressie.
    Remember, if you give in now this will just be the thin end of the wedge, the next thing you know she'll be telling you to change the water !

    Andy

  6. #5
    Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam NotDeadYet's Avatar
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    Go into the bathroom, fill the bath, lock the door, spend some quality time with a good gentleman's periodical whilst sitting on the bog, half an hour later run a wet comb through your hair and pull the bath plug. Get a bit of soapy froth in your ears and then re-appear. She will never know the difference.

    Doesn't she know we are like otters, we need our natural oils to survive the winter.
    "i think this post displays/encourages a stupid if not dangerous example/attitude. This applies to ALL your posts so far"

    "Faith is the surrender of the mind" - Christopher Hitchens

  7. #6
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by NotDeadYet
    half an hour later run a wet comb through your hair and pull the bath plug. Get a bit of soapy froth in your ears and then re-appear. She will never know the difference.

    Doesn't she know we are like otters, we need our natural oils to survive the winter.
    Seems like going to a lot of trouble, just have the blinking bath, you know you want to resistance is futile

  8. #7
    Retired Jay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AirAssisted
    A large tin bath placed in front of the fire, will save any possiblity of being chilled in any bits not covered with water. Have your good lady fill the bath, using a kettle, yes this takes a little longer than your 'summer' bath, but the instant heat is well worth the wait. The whole experience will leave you feeling nostalgic, remenisent of war time Britain, use the oportunity to sing such greats as

    1 Kiss me good night seargent major
    2 knees up mother brown
    3 Hitler has only got one ....
    Good advice if, like you, you are Tom Thumb size and can bath in a thimble, but it'd take my missus all week to fill a bath large enough to cope with my newly acquired layer of winter fat
    Old divers never die - they just go down on old wrecks.

    Jay




  9. #8
    Never bent, often twisted AirAssisted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jay
    Good advice if, like you, you are Tom Thumb size and can bath in a thimble, but it'd take my missus all week to fill a bath large enough to cope with my newly acquired layer of winter fat

    I DEMAND AN APOLOGY I use the kitchen sink
    Time flies like an arrow... Fruit flies like a banana.

  10. #9
    Retired Jay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AirAssisted
    I DEMAND AN APOLOGY I use the kitchen sink
    [SHUDDERS] I can still remember my mum bathing me in the kitchen sink and looking outside to see all my mates in next doors garden pissing themselves laughing. Wouldn't have been so bad but I was 24 at the time
    Old divers never die - they just go down on old wrecks.

    Jay




  11. #10
    So raise your hand if you think that was a Russian turbanator's Avatar
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    Problem about my annual bath!

    I had to re-read that, I mis-read 'annual'.

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