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Early this morning I received a phone call from some very cheerful Dive Club member chappies. Now, glad as I am, in my dotage, to receive communication from other younger divers I have to admit to becoming a bit terse and having to tell them to F*** Off.
Theirs was a particularly cruel piece of supposed humour directed at ME and I am at a loss (not for words, obviously) to explain the hurt and pain caused.
Allow me to explain - for a number of years now I have harboured a desire, bordering on lust, to be the owner of an Inspiration CCR. The Skinny Shed, the YBOD. Oh, the happiness I could have enjoyed had I been the owner of one. But finances failed me and look set to do so for the forseeable future.
In my rose tinted view of the world I was determined to be the first YBOD owner in my Club (Out Of Cinque Dive Club - Hastings) when that complete and utter git Rob Evans had to go and get one first. Oh well, I thought, “second owner won’t be too bad”. Anyway, matters have deteriorated to such an extent that another 4 members of our Club are now on their way to Lanzagrotty (a place I like very much by the way) to do the Inspiration CCR course. This is without the others that acquired one in between.
It would now appear that I am virtually the only Club member (who isn’t a novice or a pond diver) who is still on open circuit kit when I wanted to be the first CCR diver in the Club. FFS!
Anyway, to go back to the offensive phone call. I was subjected to a barrage (via the LDS phone loud speaker) of comments such as “how is your Inpsiration” “is that an Inspiration you’ve got” “isn’t your Inspiration a lovely colour” “mind you don’t tread on my Inspiration” “have you all got your flight tickets to get to Lanzarote for our Inspiration course” “I wouldn’t ever dive open circuit again now I have my Inspiration” “ have I mentioned I have an Inspiration” “have I mentioned you don’t have an Inspiration” “I love my Inspiration" "oh! have you got an Inspiration too" "I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't have an
Inspiration" etc etc. All this was accompanied by a background noise of much hilarity and enjoyment!!!
Call me churlish but all I can say is “I hope they all fail the negative pressure test” the complete and utter bastards.
Must go to the Doctors now to see if there is a reason for this nasty green rash I have broken out in. After the Doctors I am going home to sulk.
Do you think I should I join another Club?
Early this morning I received a phone call from some very cheerful Dive Club member chappies. Now, glad as I am, in my dotage, to receive communication from other younger divers I have to admit to becoming a bit terse and having to tell them to F*** Off.
Theirs was a particularly cruel piece of supposed humour directed at ME and I am at a loss (not for words, obviously) to explain the hurt and pain caused.
Allow me to explain - for a number of years now I have harboured a desire, bordering on lust, to be the owner of an Inspiration CCR. The Skinny Shed, the YBOD. Oh, the happiness I could have enjoyed had I been the owner of one. But finances failed me and look set to do so for the forseeable future.
In my rose tinted view of the world I was determined to be the first YBOD owner in my Club (Out Of Cinque Dive Club - Hastings) when that complete and utter git Rob Evans had to go and get one first. Oh well, I thought, “second owner won’t be too bad”. Anyway, matters have deteriorated to such an extent that another 4 members of our Club are now on their way to Lanzagrotty (a place I like very much by the way) to do the Inspiration CCR course. This is without the others that acquired one in between.
It would now appear that I am virtually the only Club member (who isn’t a novice or a pond diver) who is still on open circuit kit when I wanted to be the first CCR diver in the Club. FFS!
Anyway, to go back to the offensive phone call. I was subjected to a barrage (via the LDS phone loud speaker) of comments such as “how is your Inpsiration” “is that an Inspiration you’ve got” “isn’t your Inspiration a lovely colour” “mind you don’t tread on my Inspiration” “have you all got your flight tickets to get to Lanzarote for our Inspiration course” “I wouldn’t ever dive open circuit again now I have my Inspiration” “ have I mentioned I have an Inspiration” “have I mentioned you don’t have an Inspiration” “I love my Inspiration" "oh! have you got an Inspiration too" "I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't have an
Inspiration" etc etc. All this was accompanied by a background noise of much hilarity and enjoyment!!!
Call me churlish but all I can say is “I hope they all fail the negative pressure test” the complete and utter bastards.
Must go to the Doctors now to see if there is a reason for this nasty green rash I have broken out in. After the Doctors I am going home to sulk.

Do you think I should I join another Club?
