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wibble
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<font color='#000080'>We just got the lass in our purchasing dept. to find a price for stainless steel nail heads and a glass hammer.

Anyone else got someone?
 

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Finless: You couldn't invent him...
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When I worked in London we tried toget the switchboard lady to put a call out over the tannoy for Mike Hunt. [EDIT]She did not fall for it.

Te he - I was a lot younger then.
 

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Half our department resigned because their syndicate won the lottery.
Well, that's what the boss thought, anyway


I told somebody I was giving up diving, did he want first dibs before I ebayed everything - and he believed me!
 

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on GMTV this morning they did a report on 'diet water' which had been treated so it had a negative charge which attracted fat cells so the more you drink the more fat you lose.  Apparently Yorkshire Water say that if you connect to the supply you get a third tap installed.


yeah right - if only...........!!
 

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prank-called a colleague - he is off to the local police station at lunchtime to take part in an ID parade...  
 

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Finless: You couldn't invent him...
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I got done at work some years ago - I was left a message to ring Mr C Lyons at 01......... - yes, it was the number for London zoo.

The present Ms Finless got me years and years ago by announcing she was pregnant (back in the black & white days when we did such things). That was a really cruel thing to do as I had been drinking the night before and it was 04:30 am as I was getting up ready for the drive to London on a Mon morning. Had it not been for the silently quivering mound tucked under all the covers with a fist full of sheet stuck in her mouth to supress the giggles I would not have found out until much later.

And the rotten bit.. person phoned work and told them all about the joke before I got in - much hilarity was had at my expense. I was glad that I had asked her if she was sure it was mine!  
 
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[b said:
Quote[/b] ]on GMTV this morning they did a report on 'diet water' which had been treated so it had a negative charge which attracted fat cells so the more you drink the more fat you lose.  Apparently Yorkshire Water say that if you connect to the supply you get a third tap installed.
Bugger, I thought that was real
 

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[b said:
Quote[/b] (warmwaterdiver @ April 01 2004,12:42)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]on GMTV this morning they did a report on 'diet water' which had been treated so it had a negative charge which attracted fat cells so the more you drink the more fat you lose.  Apparently Yorkshire Water say that if you connect to the supply you get a third tap installed.
Bugger, I thought that was real
No! no! It is real, I've bought up all the stocks remaining, it's yours for a tenner a bottle  


Porg, tried the wire-mesh oil can yet? Or the tin of tartan paint? or the long stand ?
 

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[b said:
Quote[/b] (warmwaterdiver @ April 01 2004,12:42)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]on GMTV this morning they did a report on 'diet water' which had been treated so it had a negative charge which attracted fat cells so the more you drink the more fat you lose.  Apparently Yorkshire Water say that if you connect to the supply you get a third tap installed.
Bugger, I thought that was real
bless!!!


 

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[b said:
Quote[/b] (Finless @ April 01 2004,12:32)]I got done at work some years ago - I was left a message to ring Mr C Lyons at 01......... - yes, it was the number for London zoo.

The present Ms Finless got me years and years ago by announcing she was pregnant (back in the black & white days when we did such things). That was a really cruel thing to do as I had been drinking the night before and it was 04:30 am as I was getting up ready for the drive to London on a Mon morning. Had it not been for the silently quivering mound tucked under all the covers with a fist full of sheet stuck in her mouth to supress the giggles I would not have found out until much later.

And the rotten bit.. person phoned work and told them all about the joke before I got in - much hilarity was had at my expense. I was glad that I had asked her if she was sure it was mine!  
We got one of our board directors last year by leaving a post it on her desk:  "Urgent telephone message - please call Lizzie on 01....." - yes, it was the number for Buckingham Palace.  She fell hook line and sinker, hilarious!

My Dad got me a few years back when I was 10.  We used to go to Tenerife a lot and, as a kid, I was totally terrified of the huge volcano that dominates the island, always worrying what we do if it errupted.  Anyway, he woke me early in the morning and told me not to panic but the volcano was errupting and we had to pack our bare essentials and get out as the holiday company was laying on coaches to the airport.

I fell for it completely and was frantically packing when I found my mum trying to supress hysterical laughter in the wardrobe... and they wonder why I've turned out the way I have!  
 
 

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Creature of the night
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<font color='#000080'>they have just put a story out on radio 2 that France and Germany were about to announce the ditching of the euro in favour of joining sterling
 

Safe diving,
Steve.
 
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Imported post

[b said:
Quote[/b] ]on GMTV this morning they did a report on 'diet water' which had been treated so it had a negative charge which attracted fat cells so the more you drink the more fat you lose.  Apparently Yorkshire Water say that if you connect to the supply you get a third tap installed.
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Bugger, I thought that was real
[b said:
Quote[/b] ]No! no! It is real, I've bought up all the stocks remaining, it's yours for a tenner a bottle
ah now you can't pull the wool over my eyes, they said you can only get it from the tap, you wouldn't be trying to con me would you ?

wwd

ps how the hell do you reply using a quote from a quote from a quote ?
 

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I was stitched up good and proper on monday nite at the pool......I was asked if i would do a tune-up for a women with a colostomy bag who'd specifically asked for a female DM as she didn't know what to do with the bag underwater.....eeeeuuuuhh!!!
 

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<font color='#F52887'>Incidently there are some professional ladies round Kings Cross with gonorrhoea and warts etc of thier colostomies, just be grateful it wasn't one of them

 
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[b said:
Quote[/b] ]Incidently there are some professional ladies round Kings Cross with gonorrhoea and warts etc of thier colostomies, just be grateful it wasn't one of them
How do you know? I presume not inside information but you "heard it from a friend"!

wwd
 
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