YD Scuba Diving Forums banner
1 - 20 of 42 Posts

·
GUE Instructor
Joined
·
9,260 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
so, off we go again, night in and already the television has been commandeered between 10 and 11, and this situation is likely to be repeated every night for the next 3 F**king months. For what, what is the purpose of this pitiful excuse for entertainment. I forced myself to keep my brains from leaking out of my ears long enough to watch ten minutes of it tonight. I had to slowly ease a knife into my own leg to distract me from the signals my brain were sending to my mouth " TURN THIS F**KING SHIT OFF WOMAN FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST WHERE'S YOUR SELF RESPECT". Every year it happens to her. Charlotte. Unquestionably the most intelligent, sphisticated, delightful woman I have ever met. But for three months a year she turns into a drooling vegetable. She becomes capable of nothing more than gutteral noises when questions are asked of her, and she actually really enjoys this shit.

So what did I see. Two teenage twins, who seemed incapable of doing anything more than screaming. They'd have to be the first to be drowned in the pool if I was in there. Whilst their corpses were still shuddering, I'd take the rest of the brain dead bimbos and line them up against a wall to be shot. There's the obligatory wierdo type going "oh that's PHAT that is". Speak English you haggard witch. We have some older people to pass judgement on the young. Or freak out. Or whatever it is they are in there becuase it sure as shit isn't their entertainment value.

Then there's the house. There's a freezer outside. Theres an oven in the bedroom. OH, say the fuckwits. Isn;t that an interesting design feature.

Sigh

No, it's just designed to cause stress and axiety as people piss about cooking food in the bedroom pissed at 2 in the morning. Nobody puts a fridge in the garden and an oven in the bedroom FFS. It's to mess with your heads. Can you really be that stupid? This is why I could never think about signing up for this sort of show. One night at 1am all the cameras would go dead. When they came back on they'd find the pool full of bodies and me fast asleep with a big smile on my face.


Big Brother entrance Questionnaire

Question 1: What colour is my blue jumper.
Answer: ummmmmm, can I have a clue, hehehehe. PHAT!

Welcome to the house!


NO NO NO NO NO NO

It must stop now.

How dumb do you have to be to enter this kind of competition. Your family will be besieged by reporters. Your every movement though life will be exmained in detail. You will, and let's be clear about this, make a complete and total tit of yourself in front of millions of gibbering vegetables who will then point their stubby, simian, fingers at you in the street for the rest of your life and you will be known as "that flid off big brother who shat themselves when they were pissed". What's the best that's going to happen. You're going to win it. PHAT!

WELL DONE. Out of a group of organisms that need DNA tests on application to confirm they actually are human, you ranked one. Jolly well done.

Well, let me explain the order of things to you, big brother winners.

There's the aristocracy, the upper class, middle class. The working class. Then dumb animals. Then waiters. Creeping things, head lice, internal parasites. People who eat packet soup. And then you.

Even if you don't win, you can have your shot at fame. Of course, to achieve this you'll have to have sex with some complete munter, which will result in your entire family being shamed. But hey it's worth it cos you got some PHAT Photos in the papers. PHAT! So what makes you different from all the other people who have entered the show, totally humilaited themselves and everyone who loves them, and then dissapeared into blissful obscurity. What makes you think you will be different. People will respect you. People will look at you differently. Will they bolox. They will think you are the same as all the other sad wankers who have signed up for this three month purgatory in the past.

And even if they do, even if you are held up as some kind of people's hero in the house, how much pride can you take in being the hero of the type of people who religiously watch this shit.

So, I've decided that my wife is obviously very sick, but I thank God every day it is a temporary sickness and that it will pass in a few months as it does every year. she will watch the closing ceremonies and then say to me "Did I really watch that crap for months. Never again"

Just like she does every year.
 

·
That's Dude with an E
Joined
·
12,959 Posts
Let me get this straight. So far you've watched ten minutes and you recon you're not hooked? Come on Garfie, come out of the closet, admit it to yourself, you'll feel much happier. Just go outside and scream 'l LOVE BIG BROTHER' :D

Oh, and get with the program you kn*b, Mally got there first.

http://www.yorkshire-divers.com/forums/non-diving-posts/56357-b-b-8-a.html

Somewhere there's a dummies guide to searching before posting :D
 

·
Finless: You couldn't invent him...
Joined
·
23,946 Posts
I turn the volume off when adverts are on and I most certainly wont watch BB - even if there might be naked women on it.

What really pisses me off is that it is discussed on morning TV .............. mind you that is pretty sad having that on ................. in my defence, I channel hop when the Sky adverts (20 minutes per hour?) are on.
 

·
The brains & beauty behind 'Kinky Divers'
Joined
·
1,585 Posts
What?

travel for work is great.......
blissfully unaware about the show...... & life in general when I've been in the US :rolleyes:

granted I miss Juz, amazing dives, parties, get togethers, all the great diving shows (insert your favourite here) etc etc ad infinitum......

my younger, also very intelligent
Garf said:
sophisticated, delightful
sister gets addicted every year......
she was banished to the spare room last year when she came to visit.........
she is in trouble this year, the spare room aerial is [email protected]! :teeth:

Garf, sit in another room, avoid the pain!
 

·
All hail the mighty ZOM
Joined
·
26,851 Posts
One thing and one thing only would make me watch Big Brother. Get a silverback gorilla and pop a very small very tight elastic band around his nad bag. Then shove him in through the doors and see what happens. I would honestly get up at 4am to watch that live.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,720 Posts
i tell ya what gareth i would rather sit in the cellar with the lite off than watch this sh*t!!!

can someone please explain the draw of big brother???

is it the naked bodies ?

is it the lude behaviour?

is it the downright stupid activities they get up ?

i must be getting sad in my old age lol!!!

still dont understand the concept ! bores me sh*tless
 

·
GUE Instructor
Joined
·
9,260 Posts
Discussion Starter · #10 ·
One thing and one thing only would make me watch Big Brother. Get a silverback gorilla and pop a very small very tight elastic band around his nad bag. Then shove him in through the doors and see what happens. I would honestly get up at 4am to watch that live.
you must spread some repuation around before blah blah yada yada PHAT !PHAT ! INNIT ! INNIT !
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,736 Posts
Considering everyone hates it, there's a lot of discussion on YD about it. It's like watching a car crash. Nasty but tempting. So I watched 10 minutes of it last night and cringed and hated myself for it. I could happily shoot them all. But I might watch again to see the fights that occur as the hormones all start jangling and the lack of men gets to them.

It is like having a dirty little secret..... "I tuned into Big Brother"

Trace is a man. No shadow of a doubt.

And waiters come much further up the list of pond life evoloution. Be fair!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,885 Posts
Well, get the beers in and some popcorn and leave me and your missus (true devoteees) to enjoy it in peace tonight without your moaning :D It's gonna be on from 10 till 11pm, absolutely nothing you can do about it :D
 

·
More yokel than local moi luvver
Joined
·
1,280 Posts
whats the problem

Just for you GARF so you know what your missing
Recreation Eyewear Jewellery Competition event Event
Honest i wouldn't be embarrassed if that was my mum
convinced yet?...........................me neither

and one for the Dude:teeth:
Smile Thigh Entertainment Fashion design Leisure

Dave
 

·
More yokel than local moi luvver
Joined
·
1,280 Posts
One thing and one thing only would make me watch Big Brother. Get a silverback gorilla and pop a very small very tight elastic band around his nad bag. Then shove him in through the doors and see what happens. I would honestly get up at 4am to watch that live.
So Primate Terrestrial animal Grass Natural landscape Snout
+

Violet Leisure Entertainment Event Sharing
=

Purple Azure Art Smile Font

Dave
 
  • Like
Reactions: IanD
1 - 20 of 42 Posts
Top