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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I am going to move to a small Caribean island where cars are banned.....I hate em!!!!

I own 4 cars....three don't work.

My Durango was the most reliable of the bunch. Built in 2001 I had never had a problem that stopped it running. This weekend I treated it....new brakes front and rear, change of oil and filter and new viscous coupling. How does it replay me? It gains a missfire.
So I get 8 sparkplugs. Number 3 on the drivers sides seems a bit tight but a good push and out it came - minus the screw thread. I now have the inner of the spark plug in my spanner but the screw thread and sealing washer are stuck in the cylinder head.
I go and get my stud extractors. Half an hour later and I now have a broken stud extractor stuck in what is left of the sparkplug......off to the dealer with it for a head off and machining job.

My Daimler I bought in Oct last year. I have been slowly fixing it's small problems but for the last 4 months it has been bursting coolant expansion tanks. It has been to the dealer at least 3 times and had 5 expansion tanks. It has also had a radiator, a viscous coupling, two thermostats and the electric fan fixed. The last time I got it back from the dealer it lasted 1 day before the tank burst again. Why doesn't the cap leak!
So that is back in the dealer and the heads are coming off it to check all the waterways.

My XJ40 has steering rack trouble but I have the repair kit for that, have done it before and know that it can be fixed.

So my Discovery, that I paid £500 for two years ago and has covered 260k KM is the only means of transport in the family at the moment. It rattles, squeeks and sometimes stalls, but it works so I am not touching anything on it.

Cars....hate em!!!!!!!!

edit: Forgot to mention. Unlike the UK where your tools get so cold in winter you can't hold them without gloves. Here they get so hot you can't hold them without gloves, but your gloves get soaked in sweat. Sweat drips in your eyes and dust sticks all over you. 42 degC in the shade!
 

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Oz Ninja
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Cars

My Subaru is now up to two hundred and sixty thousand kilometres and still purring.

I never touch it unless something is really wrong except for regular oil changes and checking the tyre pressures...:angel:
 

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I am a person NOT a number
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I

My Durango was the most reliable of the bunch. Built in 2001 I had never had a problem that stopped it running. This weekend I treated it....

I go and get my stud extractors. Half an hour later and I now have a broken stud extractor stuck in what is left of the sparkplug......

I have been slowly fixing it's small problems but for the last 4 months it has been bursting coolant expansion tanks.
So that is back in the dealer and the heads are coming off it to check all the waterways.

My XJ40 has steering rack trouble but I have the repair kit for that, have done it before and know that it can be fixed.
you
NOOOOOOOOO DONT TOUCH IT! Can you not see there is some form of pattern developing? Cars work until........................(finish off the sentence)
 

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PADI Internet Specialty Diver
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I hate 'em too. They bring out the worst in people. Nice polite young women turn into aggressive arseholes once "safe" at the wheel of their twatty SUV. All the litter in the world comes from car windows. They are destroying the environment and killing us all.

If only someone would invent scuba gear that you could pack in a rucksack and weighs 10Kg for a full set.....

Hmmmph.

Neil, sell all four and buy a single decent one.

Chris
(Pug 406 diesel since you ask ;))
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I talk to my car, and it runs fine. Maybe that will work? :angel:
While skinning my knuckles, with sweat dripping down my back and face I spoke to my Dodge....oh did I speak to it! Not the sort of conversation for sensative ears, and it didn't work :(

I would sell all four and buy a descent one but my two kids and wife would not be able to drive themselves about.....we all go different ways in the morning.

Yazz has hit on my weakness......I fix computers all day long and when I hit the power button I know it is going to boot. I have been fixing cars for 25 years and never believe I have fixed them. When I have done something simple like changing the front brake pads I always drive around the block slowly just to make sure I have not missed anything. Strange that I can be so confident fixing one thing and so worried fixing the other.

Do those electric cars come with AC?
 

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PADI Internet Specialty Diver
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While skinning my knuckles, with sweat dripping down my back and face I spoke to my Dodge....oh did I speak to it! Not the sort of conversation for sensative ears, and it didn't work :(
....
LOL. I have a vision of John Cleese beating his Austin 1100 with a tree branch...

Have a green for making me larf..

Chris
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I can not believe it......

Stopped outside a shop last night and my Discovery was making a hissing sound. I decided it was because AC condensate was dripping on the exhaust.

Drove it home and as I arrived on my path I had lots of hissing and water dripping on the floor.

The Discovery obviously felt left out as it was working when all the rest were not - it bust a blanking plug for the heater! I have no car to use to go and buy a new one!!

Fortunately the plug was long enough that I could cut the split part off and push it on further. This has sealed the leak and I can get a new one today.

If anything else goes wrong with my cars I am going to burn them all on the beach while dancing naked around them, laughing manically.....well I am a Scouser (don't normally do the naked bit in Kirkby though!).
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
That's it, I've had enough....I'm off to buy that ticket to an island without cars.

Turns out my Discovery is a heap of shite!

I could not get to a garage to get a blanking plug so I stuffed a large marker pen in the pipe and tightened the jubilee clip. That stopped the leak, but then I had a missfire.

The missfire was noticed on the way to meet Caz (a poster here) who is on a trip to Oman, and got worse thoughout the evening.
I had a look this morning and a vacuum pipe had split....probably my fault as it was close to the leaking pipe. So I chop the split end off and reconnect it. Missfire better but not cured so I drive to the garage to get some spark plugs. I pull a spark plug wire to see what type of plugs I need and the wire breaks! Frortunately I have a spare in the boot - don't know why it's there! - so I swap that. While changing it I notice that the vacuum advance pipe is flat and sticky. That too has a large hole in it. The garage supplies me with a spare and I am off again.

Everytime I look under the bonnet something else goes wrong.

It really is time I give up motoring....or car ownership. There is something to be said for leasing!!

Neil
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
No, no, no, no, no....if I even look at a French car it breaks :)

I had a Citreon XM for a few years in the UK....many, many strange faults......and it smelt of garlic, I kid you not!

I have owned about 26 cars in 25 years of motoring. The only one that was reliable and gave me no trouble was a Ford Orion diesel....it was stolen off my path one night.

Me and cars just don't mix.
 

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Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam
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Turns out my Discovery is a heap of shite!
My girlfriend has just had a brand new Disco delivered as a courtesy car. The above pretty much summed up my thoughts on it. Designed for people with no idea how to drive a 4x4 (or need), a button for everything and totally impractical (why put cream leather in an offroad vehicle????). £40k worth of shite, be happy yours cost £500! Ironically they have given her it to replace her 10yr old mud encrusted Fourtrak :D
 

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While skinning my knuckles, with sweat dripping down my back and face I spoke to my Dodge....oh did I speak to it! Not the sort of conversation for sensative ears, and it didn't work :(
Any wonder? Swear normally and what happens? :)

I would sell all four and buy a descent one but my two kids and wife would not be able to drive themselves about.....we all go different ways in the morning.

Yazz has hit on my weakness......I fix computers all day long and when I hit the power button I know it is going to boot. I have been fixing cars for 25 years and never believe I have fixed them. When I have done something simple like changing the front brake pads I always drive around the block slowly just to make sure I have not missed anything. Strange that I can be so confident fixing one thing and so worried fixing the other.
Computers don't have the potential to skid off the road, maim or kill!

Do those electric cars come with AC?
Open window and roll car downhill!
 

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I can not believe it......

Stopped outside a shop last night and my Discovery was making a hissing sound. I decided it was because AC condensate was dripping on the exhaust.

Drove it home and as I arrived on my path I had lots of hissing and water dripping on the floor.

The Discovery obviously felt left out as it was working when all the rest were not - it bust a blanking plug for the heater! I have no car to use to go and buy a new one!!

Fortunately the plug was long enough that I could cut the split part off and push it on further. This has sealed the leak and I can get a new one today.

If anything else goes wrong with my cars I am going to burn them all on the beach while dancing naked around them, laughing manically.....well I am a Scouser (don't normally do the naked bit in Kirkby though!).
How's the bonfire going? :teeth:
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Yeah, Toyota are great. Nissan are just as good and I used to have a Patrol. Trouble with Japanese when they do go wrong you throw them away as they are not worth fixing.

The Disco is now up and running again. One set of sparkplugs and a rubber blanking plug - £10 total.

Neil

ps. The Patrol I had cracked the cylinder head and had a rattle from the timing chain.
 

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Does this mean you are going to become our man in the Caribean:)

Lucky @@@@@@@@

from one paradise to another:)
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Does this mean you are going to become our man in the Caribean:)
It might but I would become a hermit, rejecting all form of technology. So cars, phone and computers are definately out. Electricity is a maybe but only because I like to read at night.

Neil.
ps. Landy still running, cylinder head is off the Dodge.
 

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YDs Most Southerly Monkey
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My Subaru is now up to two hundred and sixty thousand kilometres and still purring.

I never touch it unless something is really wrong except for regular oil changes and checking the tyre pressures...:angel:
My Subie just clicked over onto 308,000kms coming back from a diving trip last night. Stuff goes wrong occasionally (it's 19 years old) but once fixed, at least it stays fixed. There's usually at least one CV joint somewhere knocking at anyone time, replacing them is like painting the Forth/Sydney Harbour Bridge.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
An update......

The head has been removed from my Dodge and is with the engineering works. The sparkplug remains will be removed and the head put back on. Must be fun trying to drill out a hardened stud extractor!

The Jag has both heads off and the dealer has snapped a bolt! So they are now trying to remove a broken bolt from my engine block.

The Landy continues to run well...if anything the regular use is making it run better.

Will the joys of car ownership never end!!!!
 
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