[MartinS]

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Well, to start things off, I'm going to tell you a story...
Club weekend away in Plymouth, last day's dive on HMS Elk.  The weather was a bit blowy (at least a four, but we decided that as we were at the wreck, we were going to get in and do it, especially as it was almost definate it would be the last dive of the weekend because of the worsening weather). Non-eventful dive, about 42 minutes BT, had my drysuit on and my good old semi-dry gloves (the ones I got free with a year's subscription to Diver a few years back), and although lost my buddy whilst ascending to my stops, hung out the stops quite happily and surfaced and waited to be picked up by the boat. After what seemed an eternity, the boat arrived and I eventually got up the ladder and, whilst sitting on the side of the boat, pulled one of my gloves off to be presented with what seemed copiosu amounts of 'blood' all over my hands and inside my glove. In a panic, I pulled off the second glove and found the same. Now I was in a panic. One of the club members was a nurse, but suffered from sea-sickness and was in no fit state to help. One of the already on-board divers rushed over with a bucket of sea water and flushed it over my hands so i could see where the blodd was coming from. The red wouldn't go, at which point I quickly realised it wasn't blood at all. The guys had been out the night before, and I guess one (or more) of them had decided to play the joke. After the event, I could only laugh, but there was a moment when I thought I must have severted an artery and even began to feel faint!
Well, there's my story - anyone got one to tell?
And before you say it, I should have had my palms read!

 

[Jules]

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I saw a ripe banana go into a drysuit a couple of weeks ago. it wasnt a pretty sight after a 50m dive with a twinset squashing it.
Also seen lots of other mean things done to people, usually by the same perpetrator. Apparently the only rule of prank playing is that it mustnt affect safety.

jules

 

[Mark]

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<font color='#0000FF'>Not sure if this qualifies but on a Weymouth trip in April with my BSAC club I sat out the 2nd dive of the day (scenic drift) so when the others where in the water I chucked in a few 2 pence pieces among their SMBs. It was highly amusing when one of the guys surfaced with what he thought was a very large and valuable old coin. He didn't believe I had only just thrown it in - lol

 

[Paul Oliver]

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Ok try this one,

I'm on an Army Diving exped whilst in Kenya for 2 months, 10 days diving for £80, which included my SD course, food, accom and overnight train ride from Nairobi to Mombassa.

Sorry, the prank, we are doing a night dive on a reef at about 10m. Earlier that day a big game fisherman had caught a very big Tiger Shark, and we had all looked at the teeth.

So me and my oppo are on one side of the reef and he had me turn my torch off like him to let our eyes adjust and use the phosphoresant (or something like that) glow.

Anyway after a while we notice two torches coming over the reef towards us so we set up a snap ambush and tucked ourselves well under an overhang.

As the two divers went over us we grabbed a leg each.

Now this is where things went a bit pear shape'd cos there was a lot of thrashing around. It is also quite difficult to put your mask back on when you are laughing yourself silly, but we all met up at the surface and after a while everyone saw the funny side, and we went to the bar for a few beers.

Regards

Paul

 

[Tibbs]

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Had one this weekend. Diving Saturday and whilst descending to the wreck in 33m I noticed my buddy hadn't put his necklaced reg on, and therefore his backup reg was sitting on his right elbow. Got to the bottom, and was in a dilemma as to whether to tell him or whether to be evil...

As ever evil prevailed, and my reg comes out of my mouth and an OOG signal is given. He does a textbook donation, up until the time he has to put his backup in.

I watched him pat his chest a few times before I gave him his main reg back and handed him his backup. Cue much gesturing before we finally got on with the dive...

Chris

P.S. I practise with my buddy a LOT running various drills, including surprise OOGs and there is no way I would have pulled this on almost anybody else. So don't try this at home kids unless you know EXACTLY how your buddy will react...

P.P.S. I know you read this forum oh buddy of mine, so don't get big headed at my having complimented you... you still screwed up!

 

[Fee]

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<font color='#0000FF'>What, you mean apart from dropping starfish/ lobsters on some poor unsuspecting soul under the waves...........
Someone I know, while on a trip in the Red sea got hold of several peoples computers and set them to altitude, also for the alarms to go off at about 5m depth.  Very amusing, at least for him.....................

Fee

 

[Paul Beal]

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A good game in our club is "pin the starfish". It all started when I was diving one of the Scapa blockships and a starfish mysteriously attached itself to my arse. Though the rest of the dive my "buddies" managed to get 2 others on there. I rumbled them when I turned round and they were trying to get a 30cm sun star to attach itself. The game hasn`t stopped since!!

Guess the dance routine while doing deco stops is another favourite game - it passes the time!

Paul

Disclaimer - no starfish are harmed in the making of this game

 

[Finless]

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These are all true stories and just about come under the topic heading.

At Scapa last year a bunch of the guys came back to the boat pissed - one exceptionally. He came into the deck room and collapsed on his back, full length on the bench seat and passed out. Another slightly less drunk person then tipped water all over his crotch to make him think he had wet himself when he eventually woke up. Not satisfied with this, he then got a piece of fish out the fridge (caught 3 days earlier and beginning to off) and stuffed that down the front of his undies. Just to finish things off a banana was shoved in his flies.

Another night after the pub someone wanted to get out from the far end of the table (surrounded on 3 sides with a bench seat and the cabin walls as a back rest) so he decided to try and climb out of the fairly small window. When he was just over half way through with his head on the hatch cover below they tied his shoe laces togather around the bit that holds the window open and left him stuck there for a while.

A lot of fishing went on between dives and the eyes from the kept fish were put into the reflector of someones torch - the idea being when he switched the torch on in the dive he would look into it to see why it was not working properly and see all these eyes staring out at him - narked? Unfortunately he noticed them whilst kitting up.

Others were the smelly fish in the dry suit, curry powder over the reg mouthpieces.

Pre dive checks were meticulous by the end of that trip.

Someone, reportedly farted through a lit cigarette to try and produce flame. Sadly I can't make up my mind whether I am sad or glad that I missed that. I pity any poor tramp that picked that *** out of the litter.

I can assure you it was a nervous week trying to figure out if I was currently the target of some prank.

 

[Dr Stevil]

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At wastwater training weekend, as someone lies floating peacefully - sans tanks etc - on the surface, filling their drysuit till they resemble something from Eurotrash, then setting them adrift on the lake, can't even get to the dump valve - I know i was that victim...

Diving with two trainees, one has her octo trailing behind throughout the dive, pull a spontaneous OOA on her, by the time she's located and presented the reg you're lying there "dead"

Not there but was told about getting smartarses at Scapa believing they've dived The Battenberg "Oh yeah, square profile dive, piece of cake really..."

In Florida at undersea habitat, me and a Yank as support divers, six guys permanently in the habitat;  after 6 or 7 days one of the guys is suffering permanent mild-ish narcosis and is getting really wigggy, then while he's working outsideat night, alone,  whispering ghost-like into the underwater speaker "braaaddddddllleeeeeyyyy.... watch out.....  danger......" this after a Great Hammerhead had been reported cruising the marine park - what would we have give to have a copy of the Jaws soundtrack to play over the system

Same gig, one of the guys left his e-mail open when going off to work outside, e-mail to his boss saying he'd resigned because of unrequited homosexual affections (guy was a really upight ex-US Marine)

Again same gig, guys in the habitat have to use an outside gazebo for toilet purposes, we support divers collaged a porno mag with their heads on the bodies, laminated it and left it hanging in the "loo"

All in the best possible taste...

 

[peter k]

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None of you lot do the "Shark and Angel" routine where a load descend on the trainee and strip him/her to the bear minimum i.e. no tins, no reg, nothing, stripped clean by the Sharks. They then need to retrieve the gear back on and the Angel is hovering there "just in case" or are we just an evil bunch.

Peter

 

[Mark]

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Quote[/b] (Tibbs @ July 22 2003,23:50)]whilst descending to the wreck in 33m I noticed my buddy hadn't put his necklaced reg on, and therefore his backup reg was sitting on his right elbow.

<font color='#0000FF'>Naughty naughty! What happend to your pre-dive equipment check??  

Regards,

Mark  

 

[Rob Evans]

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Pranks that went slightly wrong....

Red Sea a few years ago - bud and me doing a night dive.  Another couple of mates spotted us, turned off their torches and amid much tittering sneaked up behind. Grabbed a leg and gave it a good old shaking.  Terrified diver turns round, eyes bulging out of mask.  They'd got the wrong buddy pair and scared the living crap out of a really uptight Dutch guy from another group that had already had some 'issues' with our ... boisterous behaviour.  Twelve of us laughing our bollards off when the whole story came out post-dive, just as the Dutch guys were coming out of the water.  Ah well, if you can't take a joke...

Philippines last year - me and another bud knocking about on a shallow wreck and having a whale of a time. Same Ocean Buddy system working well - I spotted him coming round the bow so decided to have a laugh.  As he came round the corner he saw me floating motionless on my back, reg out, no bubbles or signs of life.
He figured it was me pratting about so ignored it. The female buddy pair behind him (whose knicker elastic we'd been desperately trying to loosen for a week beforehand) didn't spot the jape & suffered a total sense of humour failure.  Under water EVERYBODY can hear you scream, and no legs over were achieved the whole trip. Still, I got a smack around the chops for my efforts and that normally costs me good money at Madame Mim's.

Normandy a week or so ago. Bad-ass ex-para mate busy trying to chat up a barmaid. Doesn't speak the lingo, but I have a smattering so am roped in to help.  Convince her that mate is a 'Omo.  She promptly goes to the kitchen & comes back all smiles saying the chef's one too and he's taken a real shine to bad-ass ex-para mate. Don't know what mate was so irate about; he was the only one to pull all week, the bloody ingrate.

 

[Rob Evans]

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Actually come to think of it Finless was quite popular too, flirting about with that saucy pony tail of his.  Beating them off with a stick he was. Er....so to speak.

 

[Dr Stevil]

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Memo to self - if ever diving with PK & Pals remove trauma shears from belt, substitute with trusty old knife...

 

[Finless]

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Quote[/b] (peter k @ July 23 2003,19:56)]or are we just an evil bunch.

Peter

Yes.

 

[LesleySS]

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Not quite as bad as the other tricks on this thread but earlier this week when I was doing my dry suit pool session, I had to stand on my hands and put a little air into the suit so that I could see and feel the effect of having air at the feet end.  My instructor, who fortunately is a good mate (so I was able to kick his arse afterwards

) then took this opportunity to pump shedloads of air into my suit, meaning that it was literally fully inflated and I was stuck upside down.  He went off, did a ocuple of laps then came back to rescue the now-thrashing-like-a-banshee-me.  

 

[daz]

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Quote[/b] (LesleySS @ July 24 2003,14:04)]Not quite as bad as the other tricks on this thread but earlier this week when I was doing my dry suit pool session, I had to stand on my hands and put a little air into the suit so that I could see and feel the effect of having air at the feet end.  My instructor, who fortunately is a good mate (so I was able to kick his arse afterwards

) then took this opportunity to pump shedloads of air into my suit, meaning that it was literally fully inflated and I was stuck upside down.  He went off, did a ocuple of laps then came back to rescue the now-thrashing-like-a-banshee-me.  

We did inflate someone doing a DS orientation in the pool once and then paddled them across the pool.

Daz

 

[Finless]

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Quote[/b] (Rob Evans @ July 24 2003,01:16)]Actually come to think of it Finless was quite popular too, flirting about with that saucy pony tail of his.  Beating them off with a stick he was. Er....so to speak.

If I was flirting you must have been flouncing 'cos once he got fed up with me I believe he made a bee line for you, at which point I supped up quickly and dashed off to bed before he noticed.

In retrospect, I suspect he was "gay" in the original sense of the word (not the modern meaning). Mind you, I checked the bar out carefully before going in the next evening - just in case.

I suppose that with the dives being done I am glad to say that was the most scary thing that happened all week.

 

[Paul Oliver]

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Guys

You all have it easy, try being the DO off an active branch that dont take itself to seriouse.

Every time i dive i have a Chairman, TO, BO, EO, Treasurer and Uncle tom cobley and all watching my every move.

And every one is waiting to stitch me up at the slightest chance. Plus all the Newbies waiting to see my perfect examples of how to do things right.

Regards

Paul

 

[ANDY 64]

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Not like our DO last weekend,,,,,,,, then

Sat on engine box,stuggling to put his stab jacket on, ( crewmanin wheel house with camera ) when a total utter notice shouts , " Jim your suit zip is still open "....

Dammmmmmmm i thought, ' how far can a novice swim ' ?


Andy