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<font color='#000080'>A little tale for your amusement

Last week I should have been diving out of little Hampton with a group of good friends, but due to heavy work commitments I had to cancel a few weeks ago, I was absolutely guttet at this would be my 5th trip there, and I still had to pay full wack

Background
Last year I found the casing  of a gold pocket watch on a 100 year wreck, it was solid gold and when I had it cleaned they valued the weigh in of the gold at £300, obviously I was well pleased with my find and the other divers where pleased (if jealous) of my find, I had only found the casing, the workings where no where to  be found, on talking to a specialist we where informed that at the turn of the century Britain made the cases and shipped them to America for the workings to be installed and sold on to the American and European markets
As it was highly unlikely that they where shipped over singularly a return dive was on for this years trip

Got a phone call on Wednesday
Paul asked me if I was sitting down, then proceeded to tell me how ian (my diving buddy)  had lifted 26 watches, that he was giving 2 to him 1 for the skipper, having 2 framed and paying his overdraft and buying new kit with the rest (strange how the receiver was never mentioned) he enplaned how ian had lifted them strapped to him (you would normally bag and send up on a lifting bag) I was ecstatic, and a little gutted I was missing out, but my mate had got some proper treasure I was very pleased for him, I did some quick calculations and realised that his find was worth 7k

I phoned them on Thursday
Paul seamed a bit pissed off, but proceeded to tell me that the 2 divers on the boat who where just associates and just came along to fill in the spaces had found a crate, with 4 boxes, each containing 25 watches in,  fook me I said that’s 30k worth of gold, yea paul said in a disheartened voice, and told me he needed to get back in the shower, I thaught he must be gutted because he had not found any

I phoned on Friday am
I phoned Friday mid day

I got a phone call Friday teatime from ian
Who proceeded to tell me how it was just a big wind up, and that no watches had been found, just pauls sick humour, and that he taught it had gone on long enough, (bless him) he also told me paul didn’t know he was phoning me

I had been well and truly stitched up

My revenge
About 2 hours later I got a phone call from paul (who still had no idea that ian had spilt the beans) he had seen the 2 missed calls from me, presumed I was still all exited, and taught he would give me the next instalment,
Paul—hi ste mate
Me—hi paul what pub you in mate
Paul—ehh  the anchorage , but why
Me—I will be there in just over an hour, im just coming off the m25, so yea just over an hour, ill see you then, by
Paul—hang on
Me—what
Paul—your where
Me—just coming off the m25 mines a nice cold larger
(the language gets very strong from here, you have been warned)
paul—shit, shit, fookin hell (you could actually here the desperation forming in his voice)
by the way little-h is a 6 hour drive
paul--shit, ste mate im sorry, shit, shit, it was just a wind up, me and my big fookin mouth
me—a wind up you fookin better be taking the piss, I have just drove for 5 hours and cancelled on a big contract to come down here, you stupid cu*t
paul—shit, shit, im really sorry mate I have fooked up big time, me and my big fookin mouth, im really really sorry steve, why didn’t you phone to tell me you was coming?
Me---I did, twice you slag
me—anyhow its worse than you think
paul—how could it be possibly worse?
(Now this bit was a bit hammy but I got a bit carried away)
me—with us finding 126 watches and the possibility of more, I went to see a good mate of mine who  deals in gold, he told me that due to the age the only true way of getting a value is based on the purity, and that the only true way to do that is to smelt one,
so you stupid fookwit I have had my watch mealted

lots more apologies later I asked him to put ian on the phone, who confirmed he was squirming loads, after a further few minuets I put him out of his misery, his reaction was complete disbelief then anger then laughter

I think we are equal now

And I still have my watch  
 

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bloody nice one.......i like that...

I was diving with some mates off a privately owned RIB,and the owner wanted to go back to ths wreck that he had done for about 50 dives after finding a silver dollor..........cutting a long story short, when i surfaced i screamed my head offfffffffffff QUICK COME GET MEEEEEEEE. having got onboard , the owner was also in the boat, saying whats the matter.

Digging out a dull silver coin out my drysuit leg pocket, say " look what i've got "........ NOW this owner needs to wear glasses and never wears his on the boat,he was signing praises everywhere, saying that he was the first to find one ... blar blar blarrrrr.

Back ashore his daughter was looking at it carefully and said " Dad, it's a german 50 marc bit dated 1971 " , this chap chased me all round the car park, made me get a taxi home with all my kit, and i was never allowed to dive with him again.......




Bit of fun that went wrong by putting the coin in my drysuit 2 days before hand,,,, but i still laugh to this day when i see him go out with only 3 onboard rather than the normal 7 we had in the good old days....
 
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