Extracting the Urine
As some people will know i'm off to mauritius in 3 weeks for my best mates wedding where i'm to be best man:teeth: There are 18 people in total going at a recent meal most of the people going where sat around the table and i couldn't help but notice how tanned and toned everyone was. I was going to look a right cnut on the photos next to this lot and i admit it bothered me a bit :embarassed: (completely out of character for me) Now the toned bit nothing i can do in 3 weeks really and i haven't been on a summer holiday for 7 years so my skin is whiter than a nuns bum. I had the perfect idea sun bed cancer things so last night i plucked up the courage that i wouldn't look to gay walking into a tanning salon ( oh how wrong i was:embarassed: ) Explain my problem to the girl who laughs and shows me to a tardis stand up job where you hold handlebars in the air ( to avoid white bits apparently) she says 6 mins will do you me being stupid decided no need longer than that she refused to sell me any more than 9. After 9 mins thinking how stupid must i look and i hope there isn't a camera in here i get out feeling warm but fine. Sat at home 3 hours later my whole body feel sore and i mean fcuking sore my girlfriend thinks this is so funny as it's not like me to be vain in the slightest and the first time i am this happens:embarassed: Brings me to mistake number 2 i decide i'll have to buy some aftersun so off i pop to tesco at 10 pm looking for aftersun pretty blue bottle nivea aftersun written on it just the job. Back home i put gallons of it on doing my back myself because my girlfriend couldn't move for laughing. Only to wake up this morning with patches on my body and hands that make me look like i've been tangoed turns out this bloody aftersun has a self tan thingymajig built in:angry: it took me an 1hour of scrubbing in the shower to get the main off but you can still tell:embarassed: I have spent the whole day getting mercilessly ribbed by my mates, girlfriend and my dad it's a good job i have a thick skin (albeit a red with orange patches one) So anyone having a bad day think of me it should cheer you up.