YD Scuba Diving Forums banner
1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Why is it when a relationship breaks down there is always a family member who sticks their nose into an already difficult situation and really stirs it up?

We (that's the royal we) were together on and off for 10 years - finally got our acts together and decided to try and make it work. To cut a (very) long story short it went horribly pear shaped for a number of reasons, burned and crashed - possibly beyond our control.

The last few months were made really bad as we rented her Mums 'spare' house and she was forever sticking her nose in to the point that the friction it caused between me and the other half became unbarable - we had a huge row, i said i was leaving, she tried to cut her wrists, i took her to hospital, she came home home, her brother came round and threatened me!!! (I'm also a woman).

As you can imagine this just caused even further friction, i left the house 2 months later and moved back to Nottingham. The brother never appologised for his threats. The relationship continued but was very strained.

Just over a week ago she called it a day, although i was devastated i quickly accepted it was for the best. We still have lots to sort out, joint accounts, credit cards, the dog etc,

Here's the bit that got me mad....

Tonight she emails me a list of demands re money, furniture etc - all very cold, callous and quite harsh, telling me i must pay 50% of the credit card that's in her sole name by the end of the month, when only 20% of it has anything to do with me. Demanding all sorts of highly unreasonable and unrealistic actions, all completely out of the blue and all against previous agreements.

I respond trying to keep it calm and fair, only to open the attachment options and discover that the author was actually her brother, it was then edited by her mum, then she sent it to me!!!

Why on Earth would anybody use the main antagonist in a relationship to write such a letter - i'm absoluetly gutted - did our years and years of history really mean that little, it just feels so uneccasarily provocative and cruel.:angry:

It's absolutely soul destroying letting go of the past :frown: - even though it went pear shaped we shared an awfull lot over the years - i'm devastated and she acts like that...

I think i need to learn to stop falling for the wrong people

...and i need a hug! :girlhug:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9,720 Posts
i know from personal experience that relationships get strained ,especialy when

family members get involved in relationship breakdowns which i think is bound to

happen and does usualy create nothing more than lots more friction,:frown:

all i can sugest is dont rise to the provocation friend especialy empty threats like

ones that come in an e-mail and from the brother ? just shut the door and phone

the local police !

i wish i could help more but unfortunatly relationship breakdowns must be

allowed to take their course and all i can say is i hope that all works out fine for

ya ??:embarassed: :embarassed:

best wishes leigh
 

·
'we are here for a good time, not a long time'
Joined
·
781 Posts
Unfortunately you only see the families true colours when a break up occurs!

Go and see a solicitor for a 'fixed fee consultation' to find out what she is entitled to legally, then let her whistle for the rest!

I was prepared to split everything 50/50 (until she got nasty) so saw a solicitor (only took 1/2hr - was £30ish IIRC)
I saved myself a fortune by only letting her have what she was entitled too.
Turned out she knew what she was entitled to (not a lot) but was just trying her luck.

HTH
:girlhug:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,526 Posts
And since things are getting nasty and threats are underway, call it a day where contact is concerned (block/change numbers); and for any nasty stuff, keep a log, even if the ex-partner may become apologetic later on and make some lame excuse as to the reason for the nasty letters/emails/phone calls, etc. If you do bump into them again, just be civil (bite tongue hard in any case) and let them show themselves up in public.

Good luck and things will calm down, but sooner if you don't rise to threats. It helps to know the facts, so a good idea to take the above's suggestion of having a consultation of who's entitled to claim what.

ATB,
Lou
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
45 Posts
I am sorry to hear all about this.

relationship break ups are hard enough on their own, with out the added agony of outside influences.

Don't rise to this....be the stronger and bigger person. Stay calm and try not to let it get to you.

Chin up and take care....:angel:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
128 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
It's so nice to know people empathise, it feels like i'm not on my own - Thanks 'people' x x x

Off to scappa (first time) in the morning for a week so will be leaving my phone switched off and will be taking the advice about seeing a solicitor on my return.

Thanks for your support x x
 

·
beware of limitations
Joined
·
3,443 Posts
Tonight she emails me a list of demands re money, furniture etc - all very cold, callous and quite harsh, telling me i must pay 50% of the credit card that's in her sole name by the end of the month, when only 20% of it has anything to do with me. Demanding all sorts of highly unreasonable and unrealistic actions, all completely out of the blue and all against previous agreements.

Wooooooooooaaaaaaaaah - how familiar does that sound. Welcome to the shitty, terrible and all over dreadful world of divorce. There's nothing like this to bring out the very worst in people.
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top