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DUE CEO, Booking agent, Coffee maker & Dogsbody...
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10,161 Posts
:)
 

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Open Wide
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2,417 Posts
quite long but worth it.

It's a very sad world we live in when even Sir Paul McCartney and
his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg. Personally, I think it's prosthetic!

News reports
have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather
Mills-McCartney. Mrs Mills-McCartney is said to be distraught over the split.
"He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm really stumped"
"She's running around in circles",
according to a close friend, "she will need all the support she can get. It's
not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this"
After his break up with Heather, Paul was
asked if he would ever consider going down on one knee again. Paul said he would
prefer it if we called her Heather.
It is not known whether a pre-nuptial
agreement was signed prior to the marriage. Paul McCartney is one of the richest
men in the world, and if an agreement has been signed it is believed that she
won't have a leg to stand on. Rumours abound
over the split which have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause.
"She's terrible" a confident stated, "always trying to get her leg over".
Another person has suggested that her
battle with alcoholism was the root cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a
friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless"
Many have attributed this to a problem
which started with the present that Paul bought her prior to the wedding. He
gave her a new prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler.

A miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He
says to his mate "I've had it, who will want a one legged gold digger?" His mate
says "try Paul McCartney" Finally I was
able to find a poem penned by Sir Paul McCartney:

I lay upon a
grassy bank
My hands were
all a quiver
I slowly removed
her suspender belt
and her leg fell
in the river These jokes are
funny but lets as YD'rs spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another woman who can fill her shoe. He may just have to wonder down penny-lane aimlesly. While Heather will be hobbelling to her next hurdle. I cannot keep thinking that Paul must not wait too long as he is getting on in years and now is the time to 'Shake a leg' and put his best foot forward. Heather on the other hand has had that decision already made for her.
As long as Paul
does not tread on the toes of close female friends, he will always have someone
to lean on. Heather on a other hand seems to need a more upright companion. But
in all seriousness Heather seems to have put her 'foot in it' and she is
certainly not 'toeing the line'. We all kneed some-one even if they tend to trip
us every now and again. Heather could just be judged by society to be LBW even
if it is later discovered that she was guilty of a foot
fault.
 

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Finless: You couldn't invent him...
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23,946 Posts
Sources near to Sir P have been quoted as saying "he is a little surprised and hurt at the acrimony involved in their split ........... it goes completely against the grain for Sir P to have to admit that Heather is not a woman to rub up the wrong way"!
 
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