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<font color='#0000FF'>after having a check and finding the amount of divers that pop in and out of the forum that also includes regulars,i was hoping to find old diving stories,from some of the old seadogs around,(diving experience not age)when ever we head upto oban after a few sherries the older members of the group start reminiscing(spelling?)it always brings a tear to a glass eyeone of the favourite ones was when a certain diver of glasgow south fame organised a dive to oban and was making sure that everybody got kitted up,halfway through getting kitted up another rib pulled up beside them and asked could they tie up along side,no problem was the reply ,except for one small detail,one of the divers on board the rib didnt hear or see the other rib tying up along side...he then got himself into position and rolled off one rib straight into another one,everybody wondered what the noise was and as they turned around all the saw was a set of fins sticking out of the rib oh how we laughed as we then put it to the diver that while sitting in the middle of the sound of mull he" couldnae hit watter" come on give us the stories it will always cheer somebody up....
 

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Lucky Man
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A certain instructor I know managed to totally miss the biggest wreck in Europe, whilst half the newbies had a great time on it on the same dive, if the stories at my club are to be believed - always brings a smile to my face as she squirms when someone recounts for the umpteenth for the benefit of a new recruit  


Dave "never done anything daft in his life, especially not ballsing up his lead and floundering on the surface unable to sink in front of a rib load of instructors from various clubs in Portland earlier this year"  
 

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TDI Instructor Trainer
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I remember the club training officer in my very first dive club jumping in without a weight belt on. He managed to get down to 9m by pulling his way down the shotline before realising what he had done.
 

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TDI Instructor Trainer
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Or the instructor on a Diver Rescue course doing rope throws.

He was convincded that he had one foot on the end of the rope but as he leant forward with the swing his foot came up and he was treated to the sight of both ends of the rope flying out towards the diver in the water.

Embarasment was compounded when he turned around to see that the whole thing had been caught on video.
 

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Bloke in my club did the no-weight pulling-himself-down trick. Except he got right the way down to the Thistlegorm before he let go of the rope...
 

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Street Cleansing Operative
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<font color='#000080'>Or the TDI instructor who jumped into the Sound of Mull with no fins!

Officially a Muppet!
 

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my sis and i got left for an hour and a half surface swim (in a swell) after a drift dive where the DM/skipper hadn't checked the direction of the current.    We sang songs from Grease to keep spirits up, meanwhile the DM panics and thinks we've been swept off to Belize.

....oh how we laughed afterwards....NOT!
 

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Creature of the night
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<font color='#000080'>we have had some gems recently from one member missing the Hood on 2 separate occasions to the former DO doing a Roger ramjet style giant stride entry from a boat in the Red sea only to realise as gravity thwarted him that his fins were still in his dive box, his flailing was taped until his danger of drowning became a distinct possibility.

Another one apres dive was a guy pleading with a doorman in a club in weymouth to be allowed into their establishment after hours for a crap, he was the designated driver and had drunk 8 pints of fresh orange juice, the doorman politely reffered him to a taxi rank round the corner he didn't make it so we got a taxi back while he drove back wrapped in a dog blanket
 


Safe diving,
Steve.
 

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<font color='#32CD32'>having spent an entirely relaxed weekend ferrying a really nice and laid back london bsac club on a training weekend, the do (also club chairman) was keen to have a splash without a student, all other buddy pairs were in the water when said do rolls out of hardboat, ooooooops forgot that drybag zips need to be done up! now thats not really funny, running on the water all around the stern and up the ladder at almost the speed of light was! it stayed secret (do/buddy/skipper) till now.
       the advent of digital camera's has had its moments too anybody else got pics of "bungee divers"
?
             (apart from me, clem, and hard hat!!!!!)      
 
 

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One of the club's older members talks about diving with surface cover of a canoe towing a rubber ring - don't see that happening much anymore!  


Robert
 

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wibble
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<font color='#000080'>I know a guy who did a dive with a wasp in his undersuit.  Needless to say neither party were overly happy with the arrangement.

I dobbed our boats officer in to Beachcomber for leaving our launching tractor where the tide comes in, and it getting very wet.
 

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oooh, i just remembered another!!!  first time in sharm, still a newbie on the second dive of the hol - guide asked 'how much air?'  I got my signals mixed up and told him 50 bar when i meant 100 bar - surfaced with buddy on our own next to the reef to be faced with about 20 day boats and neither of us could remember the name of ours!!!


a definite 'oh bugger' moment......
 

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<font color='#0000FF'>im glad i put this on it has brought  a few tears to my eyes and since talking to people in the club it seems that one fo our most experienced members ,decided to gon the akka,got to the bottom down the shot line only to find that fins would be a great idea to use for propulsion instead of just feet
and one of the others was when a certain  dive leader stood and told everyone to double check everything then proceeded to jump in and start to submerge for a few feet only to come to the surface like a polareis missile as he had forgotten to get some one to turn his air,luckily he used his emergency bottle on his stabby,what a guy....
 

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Finless: You couldn't invent him...
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[b said:
Quote[/b] (Mark Davies @ Mar. 30 2004,11:18)]Or the TDI instructor who jumped into the Sound of Mull with no fins!

Officially a Muppet!
Me too - at Scapa.
 
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our Bosun and cox for the weekend (a qualified RYA Powerboat Instructor) failed to fill the spare jerrycans one Saturday afternoon before going out on the rib to the Eddystone lighthouse off Plymouth, only to run out of fuel on the return journey and have to be towed in courtesy of HM Royal Navy!

the memories of that evening in the pub are classic
 

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Many years ago one of our crowd did a high entry off Millport Pier, a 25 foot drop into 3 foot of water.  It took 3 of us to get his legs out the mud.  The same day another trainee tried the same thing, this time from the correct side of the pier (the deep side), his fins were too big for him.  Have you ever seen someone trying to swim with their fins at their knees?

Another laugh was watching one of the guys kitting up for a high entry off a pier in Skye one very cold January morning.  We all kept quiet and had a great laugh as he kitted up, jumped over and hit the water fully kitted with his drysuit unzipped.  I swear he came out faster than he went in.
 

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[b said:
Quote[/b] (Finless @ Mar. 30 2004,15:31)]
[b said:
Quote[/b] (Mark Davies @ Mar. 30 2004,11:18)]Or the TDI instructor who jumped into the Sound of Mull with no fins!

Officially a Muppet!
Me too - at Scapa.
<font color='#0000FF'>Me too, diving the Cita off the Scillies.  


Stu.
 

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The King Of The Divan
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Memories of old?
Wwell some linger on. Going up to Mull in April for my stag week with some mates who I was at uni with in Edinburgh back-when and will have to watch out for a couple of old tricks

1. Mind the artist – the person at the sharp end of the squidgy or RIB always used to see if they could get the painter attached to someone just about to go in for a dive. This usually ended up in curses, as the attached person could not swim away from the boat. That is the real reason why buddy checks were invented!!  
 but did you trust your buddy??



2. Some Janice Juice m’lud? – often we had a quick drink after a dive and after many dives a can of beer was handed to you on the way back to the launch site and you knocked back a welcome draught. The less unsuspecting usually found it was just filled with seawater – yeeuch. :angry:Once that trick became known, folk got slier by pretending to drink or even taking a sip just to lull the victim into a false sense of security.

Why Janice Juice?? Well those were the days when Tennants lager cans were adorned with the likes of Shona, Janice and Morag. Who remembers them?

Puerile, but happy days indeed.  


Simon
 

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wibble
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<font color='#000080'>Ok here we go.

1)  Waiting for the person who has a packed lunch with them goes in and then devouring it.

2)  Using a lobster prodder stick (known as a cleek up here) to hook onto your buddy and getting a tow.

3)  I once got to carry the goodie bag with the lobbie in it (not a happy lobbie).  He grabbed his chance when i was pushing through some kelp to clamp onto my DV hose.  I was a novice at the time and really shat myself.

4)  My DO was stood on the quayside in full gear when a kid came up to him and said in all innocense

"are you a diver?"
to which he replies
"No, im an astronaut" and stepped off the quayside wall.

5) Going by sea from Amble to Pease Bay (just south of Dunbar) between 4 of us we had a crate of smirnoff ice.  I needed a wee by the time we got to Holy Island and had to pee on the floor of the boat with all the blokes looking forward.  The only comment was "you pee like a frigging cart horse".

6) Farting into the compressor intake when someone you dont like is filling their tinnies.  I know it is filtered but its the thought that counts.
 
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