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I am sure, if you search Marks house there you will find a little doll effigy of me with pins sticking in it's head.
So, we went for a dive today, it's been a while, the last couple have been blown out, the only dives I have managed have been two try dives on an Inspiration.
Consiquently, I woke at 7 am, looked out the window, in anticipation of the promised good weather, bugger, it's still dark. I pad downstairs, make myself a coffee and have a ciggy. Sure enough the sun comes up, wow, the sun, woopee, no wind, the dive is on.
I load the car up (didn't do it last night in case I jinxed it) I'm excited, you've got to understand, I don't get that excited about a dive these day's, nervous yes, excited, no.
Now due to a bit of a row last night, my partner decided to sleep on the sofa. So, after our "appologies" I left half an hour late, not a problem, but I had to stick the boot down, this was the first bit of very minor stress.
As I am driving down, I am getting quite "buzzed" about the dive, the Moldovia is a cracking good dive, I have truly enjoyed my previous visits, what a lucky chap I am, the sun is shining, I am going to make it with 20 odd minutes to spare, and I can't bloody wait.
Load the kit on the boat, get it fettled into shape, talk to Mark. Yep, there he is, putting puncture repair patches onto his neck seal, mental note to myself, they will never last, Mark is due for a wet one.
Now, I don't know if you recall, the last dive we did Mark had a monster head ache, basic bad trip that one.
So, off we go, flat bloody calm, I am as happy as I can be. About an hour into the journey, I feel a bit queesy, nothing new, I have felt this before, it always passes. Not this time, oh no, I even try lying down on the deck, this works, but I am getting cold and my coat is in the cabin. After a while, which included two bouts of cold sweats, I go to fetch the coat, now I am warm I can chunder in comfort, so I do.
The boat slows down, I feel pants, bad, very bad, I should have known better at this point. I look around and everybody is in there suits, bar the guy who has forgotten his wing (we will not mention this again). I look at Mark, he asks if I am OK I say no, do I want to call it says Mark. Now this was my second opportunity to apply some common sense to the proceedings, but no.
So I get kitted up, I can't tell you what a cock up I made of this, surely this would have been a clue to all but the most stupid of us. Eventually I am ready to go, err, no not quite, excuse me whilst I just sit here and chunder all over the deck - nasty.
I turn to Mark and pleed to get in the water, I just want off the boat - big time, in we go to the shot and down. Now in my infinite wisom I decide to pause on the wreck (that is the whole 6 inches of it I can actually see - not great vis today then) to get myself settled down you understand, what happens, oh yeh I get tangled up in a trawl net, great, good old Mark to the rescue. Off we go, 10 mins into the dive, don't I just f'ing chunder into the reg, I am now seriously naffed off with this bloody game, nice relaxing day eh.
30 mins into the dive, naff all to see feel crap, very crap, Mark pauses and we call it a day. I look at my VR3, poo, I have set it wrong, I look at my slate, I can't see my slate, all I can see are flashing lights, great, now I have got a migrane, this is the 5th one in my life, I get it at 46M, bloody brilliant..
Eventually we get back to the boat, the funny part of the deco was that at the begining, Mark looked at me for confirmation of the stops, I had given up at this point, all I was going to do was follow Mark, each time he questioned me, I shrugged, then giggled insanely, it just seemed the only thing to do.
When we get back on the boat, some poor bloke has just gone up on a lift bag, 45 to 0 M do not pass go, do not collect £200, , I get on the boat, the first thing a chap tells me is that the helicopter is on it's way. It turns up, all I can think is "please take that nasty noisy thing away" my head is bloody pounding. The journey bak was uneventful, I slept.
Now for the voodoo bit, MARK WAS GETTING HIS OWN BACK it just had to be that, otherwise it was just a bad day, I will let you work out which.
Andrew
I am sure, if you search Marks house there you will find a little doll effigy of me with pins sticking in it's head.
So, we went for a dive today, it's been a while, the last couple have been blown out, the only dives I have managed have been two try dives on an Inspiration.
Consiquently, I woke at 7 am, looked out the window, in anticipation of the promised good weather, bugger, it's still dark. I pad downstairs, make myself a coffee and have a ciggy. Sure enough the sun comes up, wow, the sun, woopee, no wind, the dive is on.
I load the car up (didn't do it last night in case I jinxed it) I'm excited, you've got to understand, I don't get that excited about a dive these day's, nervous yes, excited, no.
Now due to a bit of a row last night, my partner decided to sleep on the sofa. So, after our "appologies" I left half an hour late, not a problem, but I had to stick the boot down, this was the first bit of very minor stress.
As I am driving down, I am getting quite "buzzed" about the dive, the Moldovia is a cracking good dive, I have truly enjoyed my previous visits, what a lucky chap I am, the sun is shining, I am going to make it with 20 odd minutes to spare, and I can't bloody wait.
Load the kit on the boat, get it fettled into shape, talk to Mark. Yep, there he is, putting puncture repair patches onto his neck seal, mental note to myself, they will never last, Mark is due for a wet one.
Now, I don't know if you recall, the last dive we did Mark had a monster head ache, basic bad trip that one.
So, off we go, flat bloody calm, I am as happy as I can be. About an hour into the journey, I feel a bit queesy, nothing new, I have felt this before, it always passes. Not this time, oh no, I even try lying down on the deck, this works, but I am getting cold and my coat is in the cabin. After a while, which included two bouts of cold sweats, I go to fetch the coat, now I am warm I can chunder in comfort, so I do.
The boat slows down, I feel pants, bad, very bad, I should have known better at this point. I look around and everybody is in there suits, bar the guy who has forgotten his wing (we will not mention this again). I look at Mark, he asks if I am OK I say no, do I want to call it says Mark. Now this was my second opportunity to apply some common sense to the proceedings, but no.
So I get kitted up, I can't tell you what a cock up I made of this, surely this would have been a clue to all but the most stupid of us. Eventually I am ready to go, err, no not quite, excuse me whilst I just sit here and chunder all over the deck - nasty.
I turn to Mark and pleed to get in the water, I just want off the boat - big time, in we go to the shot and down. Now in my infinite wisom I decide to pause on the wreck (that is the whole 6 inches of it I can actually see - not great vis today then) to get myself settled down you understand, what happens, oh yeh I get tangled up in a trawl net, great, good old Mark to the rescue. Off we go, 10 mins into the dive, don't I just f'ing chunder into the reg, I am now seriously naffed off with this bloody game, nice relaxing day eh.
30 mins into the dive, naff all to see feel crap, very crap, Mark pauses and we call it a day. I look at my VR3, poo, I have set it wrong, I look at my slate, I can't see my slate, all I can see are flashing lights, great, now I have got a migrane, this is the 5th one in my life, I get it at 46M, bloody brilliant..
Eventually we get back to the boat, the funny part of the deco was that at the begining, Mark looked at me for confirmation of the stops, I had given up at this point, all I was going to do was follow Mark, each time he questioned me, I shrugged, then giggled insanely, it just seemed the only thing to do.
When we get back on the boat, some poor bloke has just gone up on a lift bag, 45 to 0 M do not pass go, do not collect £200, , I get on the boat, the first thing a chap tells me is that the helicopter is on it's way. It turns up, all I can think is "please take that nasty noisy thing away" my head is bloody pounding. The journey bak was uneventful, I slept.
Now for the voodoo bit, MARK WAS GETTING HIS OWN BACK it just had to be that, otherwise it was just a bad day, I will let you work out which.
Andrew
